***
"They're gone," She whispered under her breath, her eyes and thoughts were lost, somewhere else. Then She repeated her words, with a little more connection and energy than she had previously. "They're gone! We have the rest of the night to ourselves. Well... until nine, at least."
She had done it. After the humans had dinner at Disneyland and drove back to their hotel, they got ready to head off to the pool for some relaxation. She had made an excuse about feeling ill, and that it would best if She stayed in the room for the night and got a shower. That gave us, as her dolls, time to get out and enjoy our vacation for the first time.
"That's plenty of time," said Nessa, tumbling out from She's purse and onto the hotel's perfectly made bed. "What should we do first?"
"Olaf needs to call his finacee first. Then I want to take you guys out on a tour of the gardens. There's like seven, I think. Pretty neat. Olaf? You here? I have the phone if you're ready."
Only silence answered her. She raised her head to catch a sound, still nothing. She asked Vision, Nessa, and I, who stood on the bed, "Have you guys seen Olaf?"
We had no idea.
She's face drained of blood. "I haven't forgotten him, have I? Oh God, if I've lost him... I'll never be able to forgive myself. Olaf? Olaf?"
"I'm out here."
"What? Oh, outside, thank God."
The human's hotel room had a sliding glass back door that opened into a little garden of their own. It was a quaint, fenced-in area with plenty of different plants and fresh air. She found Olaf sitting and contemplating on a small glass table meant for keeping coffee mugs and apparently, plush snowmen dolls.
"What are you doing out here? You look upset about something." She sat down in the chair next to Olaf's table.
"I'm not upset, I'm thinking. It's summer now, I know that, but for how much longer? Will Idina and I have time to get married while the weather is still nice?"
"You were supposed to get married?" Said She. "I had no idea. Is this trip ruining that?"
"Maybe," Olaf sighed. "We wanted a spring wedding, but that didn't work out. And so we said we'd have it in the summer, but with me being in Caliofrotnia and all... I don't know when we'll be married anymore."
"You still want to get married, right?" She asked.
Olaf paused. "I do, yes. I do. But if I come home tomorrow and we get married this week... I'm afraid that could be too soon. I want to be absolutely certain of things before I commit to anyone."
"Of course. That's very smart of you, Olaf."
"Yeah. Maybe we can get married in the winter. That will give us more time. And we both like winter. The weather is still nice, just different."
"That's right."
"But how will I tell Idina? This wedding means everything to her."
She stared down at her hands. She sat with her back arched forward, and her legs set apart in a triangular shape, with her hands folded between that. She, too, was thinking. Thinking carefully. "What if... what if I was the one that told her?"
"No, no, I can do it. I'm just afraid of what she'll say. I don't want her to be mad at me."
"What if she agrees with you, and she wants a later wedding or in the winter? She might just be afraid like you are. You never know unless you try."
"Maybe you're right," Olaf nodded. "Okay, I'm ready. Give me the phone."
"I'm calling the house. Let's hope someone answers."
The hotel had its own phone, a landline with a coily cord, which She used instead of her cell phone, as nobody would be able to track her calls that way. As She dialed the number, Nessa got the idea to have everyone wait in the shrubbery to get a better read on what was going on.
"This is more romantic than I thought it would be, isn't it," She muttered. "Might as well make the most of it. Who wants a picture by the bridge?" I noticed She winked sideways at Nessa. I thought, She must know that Vision and Nessa fancy each-other.
"Oh, I do! Vision- do you want to get in the picture with me?" Nessa asked, squeezing her cape.
"Why not. This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance."
The two of them stood together by the arch of the bridge, their faces an off mixture of discomfort and enjoyment while She snapped a photo.
"Loki? Your turn?"
Nessa stepped away from the area. I certainly didn't want to get a picture alone.
"I'd rather not, thanks."
"Okay. Hey, I'm going over to that gazebo over there, you guys can run off and have fun or whatever. But don't go near the edge of the pond, and don't get lost." She said.
"We'll behave ourselves," Vision said. "Nessa, did you want to go tour the rose gardens?"
"I'd love to." Nessa gushed.
I felt like an outsider. I went along with She instead, and the two of us relaxed on some white wicker lawn chairs inside the gazebo, surrounded by the smell of flowers and the sensation of fairy lights. The romantic theme was infectious, and She could tell.
"Tell me, Loki. How is it dolls come to fall in love? I mean no offense, it's just... super weird to me how we have Olaf and Idina getting married in December, and Elsa and Steve are engaged... now these two seem to be quite the pair of lovebirds."
I glanced over my shoulder. Nessa and Vision were chasing each-other towards the rose garden which lay across from the pond, laughing and shouting like any regular happy vacationer.
"Well, there is a theory, but it's a legend, really, and nobody I know has been able to confirm it." I replied.
She leaned forward in her chair, ever closer to me. The storyteller was eager to hear another's story.
"Okay, I suppose a speculation can't hurt, can it? It goes like this. Inside the center of every doll lies a magnet. This was placed there during our creation in the factories. If you are very lucky, the magnet inside of you will match up with another's, north pole to south pole, and one day you may meet. The chances are rare, however, and therefore love in the doll community is highly cherished. You know how humans say that soul mates exist, and that a higher force like God or destiny will put you on the path to meet your soul mate, your one and only? It's like that, but instead of soul mates, we dolls call them magnet-mates."
She sat back in her seat, taking it all in. "Okay, that's all well and good, but, why? Isn't it a little time-consuming and pointless to put magnets in dolls, and then make sure another has the polar opposite of that same magnet?"
I sighed, slipping out of the chair's armrest and into the round wooden table that was kept between us. "That's why it's just a theory, yes. It's difficult to find concrete evidence for these sorts of things. But it is believed heartily by many of us."
"Does every doll have a magnet?"
"I'm not sure. But... probably not."
"What makes you say that?"
"I- I don't believe I've got one myself. That, or it's broken."
She's nose wrinkled, her mouth bringing out the smile lines on one side of her face as they twitched upwards. "What? You can't break magnets. Magnets are either one pole or the other, and no matter how much it breaks, it's still functional. Like a real heart."
"Sometimes hearts can be wild, though. Just as wild as magnets."
"Okay...?"
"Because, the thing is... my magnet-mate is not another doll's, but a human's."
As soon as I'd said it, I wanted to go back in time. I wanted She to forget anything had happened, but it was too late. The words had already been said. My breath caught in my throat. Surely I was doomed.
Instead, She reached over and touched the underside of my chin with one of her ballpoint-pen-tattooed fingers. "Loki, I'm not stupid. I know that you like me."
"You- you do?"
"Yeah. Ever since day one. You, uh, you kinda broke the Code of Dolls, then, buddy."
"I did not!"
"Sure, there was my sister telling me, and then a whole slew of events leading up to her finding out, but the very first thing I ever heard a doll say was a compliment. From you," She stood, and brought out her hands for me to use as a lift. "Come on, let's go meet up with the others. I'm worried about them."
She carried me the whole way over to the rose garden, completely oblivious to the awkward tension I had felt then.
"Now, are you sure you haven't found a doll you like, Loki?"
"I don't know, if I'm honest. I always thought a small part of me was interested in Nessa, but looking back on it, I'm not so sure. She always had a thing for me before Vision came along, and she'd try to flirt with me, or, for example, steal my helmet and try to get a kiss when the ball dropped on New Year's Eve of last year. But now I believe that I enjoyed the fact that someone was doting on me. I liked... being liked. Though I never really gave in to Nessa. I'm fairly certain our magnets don't match. Besides, she and Vision are probably seeing each-other now."
"No kidding." She muttered, as we came upon the two of them staring into each-other's eyes, standing beside a cluster of drooping pink flowers, petals all around them.
"Why did you bring me here? Is there something you wanted to tell me?" Nessa asked, stars in her eyes.
"There is, yes. I've been meaning to get it out for a long time now, but there's never been such an opportune moment as this one." Said Vision.
She, knowing very well what was coming, darted to hide behind one of the taller rosebushes to give them a moment of privacy.
"Oh- okay?"
"There's not an easy way to ask this either, but... I may be a doll made in the image of a fictional android character from a universe that is not your own, but... that doesn't mean I am incapable of experiencing emotion."
"Yes...?"
"And... uh... right now, I would say I am very nervous."
"You look very nervous. Would it help if I were to finish your-"
"Sentence? Yes. Very much, thank you. If you know what I was going to say."
Nessa grinned, plucked one of the flowers from their overhanging stems, and handed it over to Vision.
"Start by giving me this flower."
Vision gave it back to her, smiling as Nessa's words followed his train of thought.
"And then you say, 'Nessarose Thrope, would you like to be my girlfriend?'"
"Ditto." Vision joked.
"And then I would give my reply. Which is yes! Yes, yes, yes! Absolutely!" Nessa practically flew forward to hug Vision, nearly knocking him over with the force of her strength.
"I think we'd better leave them alone for a while," said She. "What timing, though, right? At least we know they're probably magnet-mates, right? Are dolls monogamous?"
"I would imagine so. Unless you get more than one magnet inside of you. But yes, dolls don't date around. We find our matches and stick to them."
"That's lovely," said She. "If not a little boring. Why don't we go over to this side of the garden? I saw the most wonderful purple flowers over here earlier."
At the time She had said that, I was experiencing another bout of boldness. I hadn't been outrightly rejected by our human, so I saw that as a go-ahead for some odd reason. One of the purple flowers She liked was blooming close to the ground, so I picked it and held it out for her to take.
"Isn't light purple your favorite color?" I had asked.
"It is. Wait, agh," she moaned. "You picked the flower without its root. Now it's going to die."
She had done it. After the humans had dinner at Disneyland and drove back to their hotel, they got ready to head off to the pool for some relaxation. She had made an excuse about feeling ill, and that it would best if She stayed in the room for the night and got a shower. That gave us, as her dolls, time to get out and enjoy our vacation for the first time.
"That's plenty of time," said Nessa, tumbling out from She's purse and onto the hotel's perfectly made bed. "What should we do first?"
"Olaf needs to call his finacee first. Then I want to take you guys out on a tour of the gardens. There's like seven, I think. Pretty neat. Olaf? You here? I have the phone if you're ready."
Only silence answered her. She raised her head to catch a sound, still nothing. She asked Vision, Nessa, and I, who stood on the bed, "Have you guys seen Olaf?"
We had no idea.
She's face drained of blood. "I haven't forgotten him, have I? Oh God, if I've lost him... I'll never be able to forgive myself. Olaf? Olaf?"
"I'm out here."
"What? Oh, outside, thank God."
The human's hotel room had a sliding glass back door that opened into a little garden of their own. It was a quaint, fenced-in area with plenty of different plants and fresh air. She found Olaf sitting and contemplating on a small glass table meant for keeping coffee mugs and apparently, plush snowmen dolls.
"What are you doing out here? You look upset about something." She sat down in the chair next to Olaf's table.
"I'm not upset, I'm thinking. It's summer now, I know that, but for how much longer? Will Idina and I have time to get married while the weather is still nice?"
"You were supposed to get married?" Said She. "I had no idea. Is this trip ruining that?"
"Maybe," Olaf sighed. "We wanted a spring wedding, but that didn't work out. And so we said we'd have it in the summer, but with me being in Caliofrotnia and all... I don't know when we'll be married anymore."
"You still want to get married, right?" She asked.
Olaf paused. "I do, yes. I do. But if I come home tomorrow and we get married this week... I'm afraid that could be too soon. I want to be absolutely certain of things before I commit to anyone."
"Of course. That's very smart of you, Olaf."
"Yeah. Maybe we can get married in the winter. That will give us more time. And we both like winter. The weather is still nice, just different."
"That's right."
"But how will I tell Idina? This wedding means everything to her."
She stared down at her hands. She sat with her back arched forward, and her legs set apart in a triangular shape, with her hands folded between that. She, too, was thinking. Thinking carefully. "What if... what if I was the one that told her?"
"No, no, I can do it. I'm just afraid of what she'll say. I don't want her to be mad at me."
"What if she agrees with you, and she wants a later wedding or in the winter? She might just be afraid like you are. You never know unless you try."
"Maybe you're right," Olaf nodded. "Okay, I'm ready. Give me the phone."
"I'm calling the house. Let's hope someone answers."
The hotel had its own phone, a landline with a coily cord, which She used instead of her cell phone, as nobody would be able to track her calls that way. As She dialed the number, Nessa got the idea to have everyone wait in the shrubbery to get a better read on what was going on.
The receiver of the call answered before She even had a chance to say the first "hello".
"Hello? It's She. Everyone, She's on the phone!" The voice was Napoleon's. There was some muffled movement and speech on the other end. I could imagine the nutcracker was rallying the rest of the dolls so that they could get a change to say hi to their human.
"Hello... yeah, it's She. Hi, Napoleon. Is Idina there? Olaf wants to talk to her. It's important."
"Oh. Okay." Napoleon, obviously disappointed, passed the home phone down to Idina.
"Hello? Olav, are you there? How iz your vacation? Are you liking it? When will you be home?"
"Hi, Idina. Gosh, it's great to hear your voice. I miss you a whole awful lot."
"I miss you, too." Idina responded, flattered.
"But there's something I have to tell you. It's not very good news."
"Oh no, what happened? Did you get lost?"
She held her tongue but nodded to Olaf for encouragement.
"No... um... well... about the wedding. Istillwanttogetmarriedtoyoubutmaybeweshouldwaittodoitlater?"
"What was dat?"
Olaf gripped the phone a little tighter, nervously. "Idina, I was doing some thinking and I thought that maybe we should get married later, you know, in the wintertime? Just so we can have some more time to plan everything. I don't want to rush into things. I still love you though. I really, really, do. But I don't want to get married so soon after I get back."
Everything was quiet on the other end then. Maybe an awkward cough or two. Obviously everyone was listening in, and very closely. "Oh. Okay." Said Idina.
"Are you mad? Are you sad? What's the problem?"
"There is no problem," Idina replied. "As long as we are still getting married, dat is fine with me."
"Okay, good!" Olaf laughed, relieved.
"And yes, we do need more time to plan everything."
"Okay, and...?"
"Eet iz just dat...oh, I don't know. I suppoze I was worried that you said dat because you didn't love me anymore."
"No, no, I do! I also want to wait to marry you so I can cherish our life together before we do that."
"We are dolls, that can mean forever. Forever iz a long time, you know." Idina giggled.
"I want to spend forever with you. Just... not yet." Said Olaf.
"Dat makes sense," Idina sighed. "I am fine with dat, Olaf. We can wait. Be home soon."
"Okay. Love you."
"I love you, too."
Olaf pulled the phone away from his head and handed it back to She. "She hung up." He stated, before taking a running leap onto the bed, happy and relaxed at last.
"Did it go well?" She asked, getting up and bringing her purse.
"It did, yeah," Olaf breathed. "We're getting married in the wintertime now."
"Cool, cool," She said, and bent to scoop us up in her purse. "I'm proud of you, Olaf."
"Thank you."
Suddenly the phone rang again. Idina was calling back. She frowned and pushed the green button.
"I've just had an idea," Idina's voice eagerly. "Since Olav and I are getting married in the winter, can we get married in on Christmas Eve?"
She nearly choked on the air she breathed. "Christmas Eve?"
"Yes, isn't it romantic? It must be the most romantic day of the year."
"Give me a second, okay?" She covered the receiver with her hand and shot Olaf daggers with her eyes. "Idina wants to get married on Christmas Eve." She hissed.
Unfortunately, Olaf loved the idea. "Christmas? Oh, that's a great idea! How romantic."
"You two were made for each-other." She groaned quietly.
"Why can't they have it on Christmas Eve?" Vision whispered from inside the bag.
She chuckled softly. "Oh, Vis. You don't know what Christmas is, do you?"
"I know what Christmas is," Vision stated, blinking. "It is a winter holiday traditionally celebrated by the Christian people, who mark the birth of Jesus Christ on December 24th and 25th."
"Yeah... but... does your database tell you anything about how busy Christmas can be?"
"Something about a jolly man in a red suit? I don't believe that is related."
She bit her lip, pulled at her hair, sighed, and spoke to Idina again. "Alright, alright. You can have it on Christmas Eve. Goodbye, Idina," She pushed the red button on the phone and made her way over to the door that lead into the rest of the hotel. "Olaf, we're going exploring. Are you coming with us?"
"No, I'm okay."
She shrugged and pushed her way outside. The door opened into a twilight courtyard, abandoned and beautiful. "Well, do you three want to start at the pond?"
That sounded good to us, but of course we didn't know any better yet. She traveled by sidewalk along the light of tulip-shaped streetlamps, going off-course occasionally. I didn't blame her. After all, it was such a large, and well, majestic hotel. It was a good time, though. Since there was nobody around, She took us from her purse and carried us around in cupped hands.
The pond which She had taken us to was lit well with a greenish-yellow light from underneath a steep and slim little rock bridge. Accessories like statues of herons and frog kinds accented areas of the pond, some of them spouting water from their mouths and stirring the water around for the fish.
"It looks awfully romantic around here." Nessa remarked sheepishly.
"Oh, I do! Vision- do you want to get in the picture with me?" Nessa asked, squeezing her cape.
"Why not. This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance."
The two of them stood together by the arch of the bridge, their faces an off mixture of discomfort and enjoyment while She snapped a photo.
"Loki? Your turn?"
Nessa stepped away from the area. I certainly didn't want to get a picture alone.
"I'd rather not, thanks."
"Okay. Hey, I'm going over to that gazebo over there, you guys can run off and have fun or whatever. But don't go near the edge of the pond, and don't get lost." She said.
"We'll behave ourselves," Vision said. "Nessa, did you want to go tour the rose gardens?"
"I'd love to." Nessa gushed.
I felt like an outsider. I went along with She instead, and the two of us relaxed on some white wicker lawn chairs inside the gazebo, surrounded by the smell of flowers and the sensation of fairy lights. The romantic theme was infectious, and She could tell.
"Tell me, Loki. How is it dolls come to fall in love? I mean no offense, it's just... super weird to me how we have Olaf and Idina getting married in December, and Elsa and Steve are engaged... now these two seem to be quite the pair of lovebirds."
"Well, there is a theory, but it's a legend, really, and nobody I know has been able to confirm it." I replied.
She leaned forward in her chair, ever closer to me. The storyteller was eager to hear another's story.
"Okay, I suppose a speculation can't hurt, can it? It goes like this. Inside the center of every doll lies a magnet. This was placed there during our creation in the factories. If you are very lucky, the magnet inside of you will match up with another's, north pole to south pole, and one day you may meet. The chances are rare, however, and therefore love in the doll community is highly cherished. You know how humans say that soul mates exist, and that a higher force like God or destiny will put you on the path to meet your soul mate, your one and only? It's like that, but instead of soul mates, we dolls call them magnet-mates."
She sat back in her seat, taking it all in. "Okay, that's all well and good, but, why? Isn't it a little time-consuming and pointless to put magnets in dolls, and then make sure another has the polar opposite of that same magnet?"
I sighed, slipping out of the chair's armrest and into the round wooden table that was kept between us. "That's why it's just a theory, yes. It's difficult to find concrete evidence for these sorts of things. But it is believed heartily by many of us."
"Does every doll have a magnet?"
"I'm not sure. But... probably not."
"What makes you say that?"
"I- I don't believe I've got one myself. That, or it's broken."
She's nose wrinkled, her mouth bringing out the smile lines on one side of her face as they twitched upwards. "What? You can't break magnets. Magnets are either one pole or the other, and no matter how much it breaks, it's still functional. Like a real heart."
"Sometimes hearts can be wild, though. Just as wild as magnets."
"Okay...?"
"Because, the thing is... my magnet-mate is not another doll's, but a human's."
As soon as I'd said it, I wanted to go back in time. I wanted She to forget anything had happened, but it was too late. The words had already been said. My breath caught in my throat. Surely I was doomed.
Instead, She reached over and touched the underside of my chin with one of her ballpoint-pen-tattooed fingers. "Loki, I'm not stupid. I know that you like me."
"You- you do?"
"Yeah. Ever since day one. You, uh, you kinda broke the Code of Dolls, then, buddy."
"I did not!"
"Sure, there was my sister telling me, and then a whole slew of events leading up to her finding out, but the very first thing I ever heard a doll say was a compliment. From you," She stood, and brought out her hands for me to use as a lift. "Come on, let's go meet up with the others. I'm worried about them."
She carried me the whole way over to the rose garden, completely oblivious to the awkward tension I had felt then.
"Now, are you sure you haven't found a doll you like, Loki?"
"I don't know, if I'm honest. I always thought a small part of me was interested in Nessa, but looking back on it, I'm not so sure. She always had a thing for me before Vision came along, and she'd try to flirt with me, or, for example, steal my helmet and try to get a kiss when the ball dropped on New Year's Eve of last year. But now I believe that I enjoyed the fact that someone was doting on me. I liked... being liked. Though I never really gave in to Nessa. I'm fairly certain our magnets don't match. Besides, she and Vision are probably seeing each-other now."
"No kidding." She muttered, as we came upon the two of them staring into each-other's eyes, standing beside a cluster of drooping pink flowers, petals all around them.
"Why did you bring me here? Is there something you wanted to tell me?" Nessa asked, stars in her eyes.
"There is, yes. I've been meaning to get it out for a long time now, but there's never been such an opportune moment as this one." Said Vision.
She, knowing very well what was coming, darted to hide behind one of the taller rosebushes to give them a moment of privacy.
"Oh- okay?"
"There's not an easy way to ask this either, but... I may be a doll made in the image of a fictional android character from a universe that is not your own, but... that doesn't mean I am incapable of experiencing emotion."
"Yes...?"
"And... uh... right now, I would say I am very nervous."
"You look very nervous. Would it help if I were to finish your-"
"Sentence? Yes. Very much, thank you. If you know what I was going to say."
Nessa grinned, plucked one of the flowers from their overhanging stems, and handed it over to Vision.
"Start by giving me this flower."
Vision gave it back to her, smiling as Nessa's words followed his train of thought.
"And then you say, 'Nessarose Thrope, would you like to be my girlfriend?'"
"Ditto." Vision joked.
"And then I would give my reply. Which is yes! Yes, yes, yes! Absolutely!" Nessa practically flew forward to hug Vision, nearly knocking him over with the force of her strength.
"I think we'd better leave them alone for a while," said She. "What timing, though, right? At least we know they're probably magnet-mates, right? Are dolls monogamous?"
"I would imagine so. Unless you get more than one magnet inside of you. But yes, dolls don't date around. We find our matches and stick to them."
"That's lovely," said She. "If not a little boring. Why don't we go over to this side of the garden? I saw the most wonderful purple flowers over here earlier."
"Isn't light purple your favorite color?" I had asked.
"It is. Wait, agh," she moaned. "You picked the flower without its root. Now it's going to die."
"It will die regardless of if it stays in the ground or in your hand. Only the rate of which it dies is changed."
She smiled and tucked the flower gently into the breast pocket of her shirt. It would lay there, close to her heart. "I didn't know you were so philosophical."
"And I hadn't known you were such a liar."
She's chin stiffened in both pride and indignation. "It wasn't a lie. I was just being sneaky so that you could finally get away and enjoy your vacation. Besides, if I were to lie, I would lie with a purpose. Never for fun."
"This is fun. I'm having fun. Aren't you?"
"Yes..." She replied, confident at first, but then her voice trailed off, maybe in suspicion. "Anyways, we should probably head back to the room now. It's getting late."
She gathered Vision and Nessa, and we were sent back into her purse as She retraced her steps up to the hotel room. Vision and Nessa were obviously elated, but I didn't talk much, nor share my feelings on anything. She had never addressed me personally about the flower I gave her. Sure, She had kept it, but perhaps it was only out of politeness. There had been no "thank yous" and no sign that She liked me in turn. Part of me told me I was silly to even be attempting a relationship. All the logic within me said that I was a doll, and She was human, and nothing would ever happen between us. The other, much smaller part, the hopeful part, said that maybe there could be a chance for romance. The problem was, both sides were fighting and neither of them had won.
This internal battle continued on through the night and into the next morning. Vision and Nessa were able to see the fireworks from Disney, now as a couple, and it must have been a dream come true for Nessa, but I had no such experience. The fireworks were spectacular, of course, but I was beginning to dread that I was becoming wishful. The entire time, I was wishing that I too, could watch the fireworks with somebody special to me, somebody to point out my favorite colors and hold my hand through it all. Hawkeye might say I was growing soft.
July 15th, our seventh day in California, was our day to return home. The humans left for the airport in the late morning, and didn't get in the air until around noon. Meanwhile, I could tell She was avoiding my gaze and hardly spoke unless it was to Vision or Nessa. Olaf was already in the suitcase. Instead of writing, She took pictures of the outside of the airplane window instead, and I tried to convince myself it was only because She was exhausted from the trip.
“Snack time,” she sighed again, breaking the awkward tension by calling on Nessa and Vision again. “We got ginger ale and biscoff cookies. You want some?”
We all denied her, as there was no point in sharing food with someone who couldn’t consume it.
I looked over the words She had written again, and felt that familiar excitement I always got when I was just about to get myself involved in another great story, a feeling unlike anything else. Then I looked up at She when I knew her eyes were occupied elsewhere, and I recognized the color in them. Not green, exactly, but pretty close, and there was blue, from her father, and streaks of brown, from her mother, and red through the one, something all of her own. Blended together, someone on the outside might believe them to be gray, but I knew better. And I stared into those strange and beautiful eyes and felt lost.
Did I really love the writer, or the written?
Time passed. We exited the first plane, had a layover halfway between California and She's house. We had an hour's wait at the second airport, still She would not speak. The sky dipped into darkness, still She would not speak. We boarded the plane, still She would not speak.
And then-
She spoke. Nessa and Vision were tucked safely in She's purse, kept distracted with She's earbuds streaming music inside. It was just the two of us, an the window, and the city lights outside, burning like stars.
"Loki- my life is amazing. Having a collection of living dolls is far beyond anything I've ever dreamed. But you have to understand- I am your human. I will care for all of you equally, and provide you with anything you need, but there are limits to that. I'm not the type to fall in love."
"I understand." I muttered.
The engines accelerated, and kept accelerating until everything inside burned with vibrations. With one hand, She clutched her carry-on bag to the floor, and with the other, She curled me closer so that I was invisible.
“This is my favorite part.” She mouthed, or at least I thought She had, because the breathy rumble prevented me from hearing anything simple.
The airport zoomed past us as if in slideshow, disappearing from view into smooth gray asphalt. There was a tremendous roar beneath us, and then a tremendous silence.
The giant metal bird had lifted into the air.
She took the opportunity put her lips to my ear. This was for me and me alone.
“I’m not going to tell you a secret, I’m going to tell you to truth.” She told me.
And into my ear She whispered her true name.
"Yes..." She replied, confident at first, but then her voice trailed off, maybe in suspicion. "Anyways, we should probably head back to the room now. It's getting late."
She gathered Vision and Nessa, and we were sent back into her purse as She retraced her steps up to the hotel room. Vision and Nessa were obviously elated, but I didn't talk much, nor share my feelings on anything. She had never addressed me personally about the flower I gave her. Sure, She had kept it, but perhaps it was only out of politeness. There had been no "thank yous" and no sign that She liked me in turn. Part of me told me I was silly to even be attempting a relationship. All the logic within me said that I was a doll, and She was human, and nothing would ever happen between us. The other, much smaller part, the hopeful part, said that maybe there could be a chance for romance. The problem was, both sides were fighting and neither of them had won.
July 15th, our seventh day in California, was our day to return home. The humans left for the airport in the late morning, and didn't get in the air until around noon. Meanwhile, I could tell She was avoiding my gaze and hardly spoke unless it was to Vision or Nessa. Olaf was already in the suitcase. Instead of writing, She took pictures of the outside of the airplane window instead, and I tried to convince myself it was only because She was exhausted from the trip.
"She," I asked her. "Are you going to write soon?"
"I might," She responded nonchalantly, then pulled out her journal from the seat pocket. "Why do you ask?"
"Well... uh... I think the way you write is your best attribute."
"Thanks, Loki."
"In fact... it's the reason I started to like you."
“Hm,” said She. “But did you really fall in love with me, or
with the concept of me? Ideas, memories, hopes and dreams. Did you only fall in
love with the things I didn’t tell you?”
I was rendered speechless.
She only sighed; exchanging these truths was a heavy burden that now we both had to carry. “Well, no matter. I can’t decide anything for you. Especially when it comes to the heart. The heart is not so easily changed.”
At that moment, the little old lady with hair the same towhead color as Elsa’s braid wheeled a stainless steel cart through the aisle and stopped at She’s row. She ordered a beverage and pre-packaged airplane cookies, and they were passed down to her as quickly as she had asked for them. She clutched me close to her side to disguise me from the woman, and I caught of whiff of her scent her light wash denim jacket. It was a scent I’d gotten to, sadly, after living in her room for so long. But now I could almost... peppermint, from the humans’ homemade laundry detergent, and closet dust, and jasmine and rosemary and lemons and Christmas Day. And then most importantly, wood. Paper and pencil.
She only sighed; exchanging these truths was a heavy burden that now we both had to carry. “Well, no matter. I can’t decide anything for you. Especially when it comes to the heart. The heart is not so easily changed.”
At that moment, the little old lady with hair the same towhead color as Elsa’s braid wheeled a stainless steel cart through the aisle and stopped at She’s row. She ordered a beverage and pre-packaged airplane cookies, and they were passed down to her as quickly as she had asked for them. She clutched me close to her side to disguise me from the woman, and I caught of whiff of her scent her light wash denim jacket. It was a scent I’d gotten to, sadly, after living in her room for so long. But now I could almost... peppermint, from the humans’ homemade laundry detergent, and closet dust, and jasmine and rosemary and lemons and Christmas Day. And then most importantly, wood. Paper and pencil.
“Snack time,” she sighed again, breaking the awkward tension by calling on Nessa and Vision again. “We got ginger ale and biscoff cookies. You want some?”
We all denied her, as there was no point in sharing food with someone who couldn’t consume it.
I looked over the words She had written again, and felt that familiar excitement I always got when I was just about to get myself involved in another great story, a feeling unlike anything else. Then I looked up at She when I knew her eyes were occupied elsewhere, and I recognized the color in them. Not green, exactly, but pretty close, and there was blue, from her father, and streaks of brown, from her mother, and red through the one, something all of her own. Blended together, someone on the outside might believe them to be gray, but I knew better. And I stared into those strange and beautiful eyes and felt lost.
Did I really love the writer, or the written?
Time passed. We exited the first plane, had a layover halfway between California and She's house. We had an hour's wait at the second airport, still She would not speak. The sky dipped into darkness, still She would not speak. We boarded the plane, still She would not speak.
And then-
She spoke. Nessa and Vision were tucked safely in She's purse, kept distracted with She's earbuds streaming music inside. It was just the two of us, an the window, and the city lights outside, burning like stars.
"Loki- my life is amazing. Having a collection of living dolls is far beyond anything I've ever dreamed. But you have to understand- I am your human. I will care for all of you equally, and provide you with anything you need, but there are limits to that. I'm not the type to fall in love."
"I understand." I muttered.
The engines accelerated, and kept accelerating until everything inside burned with vibrations. With one hand, She clutched her carry-on bag to the floor, and with the other, She curled me closer so that I was invisible.
“This is my favorite part.” She mouthed, or at least I thought She had, because the breathy rumble prevented me from hearing anything simple.
The airport zoomed past us as if in slideshow, disappearing from view into smooth gray asphalt. There was a tremendous roar beneath us, and then a tremendous silence.
The giant metal bird had lifted into the air.
She took the opportunity put her lips to my ear. This was for me and me alone.
“I’m not going to tell you a secret, I’m going to tell you to truth.” She told me.
And into my ear She whispered her true name.
-Loki
