***
Well.It has been the most interesting day around here.
Then again, when is it not? It's almost always an adventure for us, the dolls on the dresser in the Room She Lives In. But that's okay, I like adventure.
But today has been more adventure than usual.
You what to know why?
Loki just told me to get to the point. He seems to be reading over my shoulder as I type this.
The point is that today is Valentine's Day, regardless of what the date says when I finally get to posting this. It's pretty hard trying to sneak blog posts when the humans aren't looking. Well, I haven't been caught yet, and that's good.
Loki just nudged me impatiently. Okay, I'll get on with it. It's Valentine's Day. And whether you love the day or love to hate it, I have a story to tell. And I promise that there will be no kissing.
Probably. I kind of forgot all that happened.
My story begins with Olaf and Idina, our star couple on the blog thus far. It was their very first Valentine's Day together, and they wanted to make it as magical as possible, which meant that some of the rest of us had planning to do before the big day arrived.
Honestly, planning things out is kind of boring anyway. But we had to do it, and still kind of do, actually.
Anyway.
A simple date would be easy, right? It held less stress than a wedding. All we had to do is set up a nice little place for them to talk, maybe steal some food from the kitchen, no big deal. But a date for two little dolls suddenly became a very big problem because the humans stayed home all day.
That's right, they did. And here's the story of how that turned out.
***
The Aftermath:
After the events of the (2015) last post, "The Beginning of the End", I was obviously heartbroken. Steve was gone for good, for an entire year. None of us could get to him, and we all missed him terribly. Even Sven, who had only known him for a few days, looked somber. On the day after he had gone, we held a little mourning ceremony for him in the living room, the room where he had been found. Napoleon and Benny did most of the talking, Benny weighed down by horrible guilt of Steve sacrificing himself for him, and Napoleon giving a speech about how Steve was, "not a perfect soldier, but a good man." I smiled sadly, as I knew that's how Steve would want to be remembered. I was too sad to cry, and besides, I was being comforted by Nessa, Dorothy, Bell, and Idina the entire time, even though Nessa was the only one who knew how much I like-liked Steve. They were trying to make me feel better. It didn't help, but I couldn't show my true emotions, as that would only hurt theirs even more.
After the events of the (2015) last post, "The Beginning of the End", I was obviously heartbroken. Steve was gone for good, for an entire year. None of us could get to him, and we all missed him terribly. Even Sven, who had only known him for a few days, looked somber. On the day after he had gone, we held a little mourning ceremony for him in the living room, the room where he had been found. Napoleon and Benny did most of the talking, Benny weighed down by horrible guilt of Steve sacrificing himself for him, and Napoleon giving a speech about how Steve was, "not a perfect soldier, but a good man." I smiled sadly, as I knew that's how Steve would want to be remembered. I was too sad to cry, and besides, I was being comforted by Nessa, Dorothy, Bell, and Idina the entire time, even though Nessa was the only one who knew how much I like-liked Steve. They were trying to make me feel better. It didn't help, but I couldn't show my true emotions, as that would only hurt theirs even more.
After that day, I spent a week isolating myself from the rest of the dolls and all of my friends. I wrapped up in my black mourning cloak like an antisocial Elsa cocoon and hid on the dresser in She's room, in the same place I usually slept. People kept trying to cheer me up so that I could (temporarily) forget about Steve. Dorothy and Bell would come by to bring me food from the kitchen, but I wasn't up to smelling anything. I had lost my appetite. Nessa talked with me and kept me up to date on daily events, but I wasn't up to talking, either. Even Loki stopped by once and a while to read to me, but no story seemed worthy enough to be heard. I only wanted to hear Steve's story again. So I would steal She's laptop whenever it was free and read my posts with Steve in it over and over again. I was totally out of it. I even made centerpiece-sized snowballs, hoping in vain that if I made another one, the timer would reset and Steve would come back. No such luck there. If I left my spot, which was rare, I would carry Steve's shield wherever I went. Whenever I was alone, I would study She's Marvel's Avengers Encyclopedia. My favorite chapter, of course, was Steve. But besides that, I didn't have the emotional energy to do much else. I was a total heartbroken mess.
Eventually, I could tell that the others were growing sick of my mood. Nessa was sent in, whether out of her own choice or not, to pull me out of my funk. Now, looking back on it, maybe I shouldn't have been so horrible. But I was upset for a perfectly normal reason. Anyways, it had been seven full days of moping and I had to get over it. Nessa whipped my mourning cloak off, commented on how much I looked like a mess, and then fixed me up. I washed my face, shook the wrinkles out of my dress, and smoothed out my hair. Sure, Steve was gone, but only for a year. Until then, I would count down every day until I saw him again. But now it was time to get back to real life.
On February 14th, the day I was supposed to be spending with Steve, it was late in the morning when all the humans were downstairs having brunch, a cross between breakfast and lunch. I wanted to try sleeping in for a change, something I loved to do, but Nessa didn't allow it. Hardly ever. She woke us all up as soon as She was out of her bedroom, and the times were never consistent. It was another dark winter morning, so I just assumed that Nessa might forget to ever wake us up and I began to relax when...
"Come on, Elsa, time to get up." I felt Nessa's tiny hands push hard on my back.
"Ugh, why?" I muttered.
"The sky's awake, so I'm awake."
"Ha, I get it." I said with a forced smile. It's really hard to smile when you've only just woken up. What Nessa had said was a quote from Frozen, and every doll knew their movie. It was like every bit of it was implanted into our nonexistent brains at the factories in China, or wherever we were made.
Realizing that I wasn't all that tired, I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the dresser, yawned, and stretching my arms. I decided it was best to cooperate with Nessa today. I noticed she had let me sleep in a lot longer than I had probably deserved, plus she had pulled me out of my rut last week.
"So, what are we doing today?" I asked, blinking as my eyes adjusted to my surroundings. Same old, same old.
"Today's the day of Olaf and Idina's big date, remember?" Nessarose said, cleaning up the dresser's surface.
"Oh yeah, right. Valentine's Day." I sighed.
"Valentine's Day," said Nessa, staring down at a doll-sized basket and broom (thanks to Bell) she was using to gather trash.
Valentine's Day, from what I had heard, was a day you spent with your lover, whether a husband or a wife, or a boyfriend or a girlfriend, or your crush or whoever. Nessa and I, being two single ladies, didn't have anyone like that, and now we were left to survive a day of nothing but hearing about couples. Good thing Olaf and Idina was the only one we knew. And besides, we would be so distracted in helping them with their date that we probably wouldn't even notice that we had no one to spend Valentine's Day with.
"Sven and Loki set out to find a little table or something earlier this morning. Olaf and Idina are deciding what to do on their date, and I'm cleaning up the dresser just in case plan A doesn't work. Plan A is to get the two lovebirds a nice little place to sit and talk for while with some refreshments to share between them. And Elsa, you're on kitchen duty. That's why you got to sleep in late. We don't really need any food until later."
"What kind of food do we want?"
Nessa shrugged and moved Bell's broom around some more, collecting invisible bits of lint and dust. "I don't know. I've never been on a date. And I'm assuming neither have you, unless..." Nessa wagged her index finger at me, and I knew what she was thinking of. "But certainly you must know some food that could work for a romantic setting."
I bit my lip in thought. "Well, usually it would have to be something sweet. Like cake or sandwiches or tea... or..."
"Chocolate." We both said in unison, then giggled. If Nessa and I didn't have any height difference I could have sworn that we were actual sisters.
"Okay. okay," I said as we stopped laughing. "Don't worry, I'll think of something before twelve. I'll go down to the kitchen and see what I can do."
Nessa sighed in relief. I could tell that she had been in charge of most of the planning. "Oh, thanks, Elsa. You're a gem."
I looked over at the clock. We had hours before twelve, enough time to get in and out of the kitchen with a food that Olaf and Idina would be sure to like. I decided that now was as ready as I'd ever be and climbed off the dresser and opened the door.
"Oh, and watch out, the humans are home today." said Nessa casually.
"WHAT?!" I whisper-shouted. I had not expected that! How on earth was this going to work now?
"Yeah, they've been home all morning. And likely will be the rest of the day. So...just be careful out there. Remember you have three hours to get food."
"Um...okay." I stammered, suddenly uncertain of how I was going to accomplish my task.
"And can you check on Loki for me?" Nessa added as I inched reluctantly out the door. "He's been gone an awfully long time. I'm starting to worry if he's okay."
"Sure, Nessa." I replied, my mouth dry. And with one last look at the ornament, I closed the door behind me and began to tiptoe down the hall.
I knew that one human was in the computer room, which wasn't close to the stairs, so I would be okay for now. I heard rustling noises in another room, but the door was closed, so I was fine there, too. One human was out doing whatever humans do when they're not at home, so that meant that the last one was downstairs. I wondered if it was She.
I took each step carefully, measuring out how far to go or how slow I should be or what stairs creaked due to past experiences when the humans weren't home. Every once and a while I would peer through the bars that held up the railing to make sure nobody was watching me or coming my way. No one yet. I leaned forward so I could hear better to see if anyone was in the kitchen.
I listened closely, and nothing happened. No sound at all. Taking my chances, I ran the rest of the way down the stairs silently and turned the corner into the kitchen. Nobody there. I smiled and rubbed my ice-blue hands together like an evil genius. Perfect.
I darted into the kitchen and marveled at the room around me. Despite being sixteen inches tall, and by far the biggest of any other doll She owned or I knew, everything here felt like a giant compared to me. The last time I had really gotten to experience the kitchen area was when Loki, Olaf, and I teamed up to make Benny Norwegian butter cookies in my sixth Christmas post. And during that time we were all on the counter, half of the height of the kitchen in total. Being so small, I felt lost and almost forgot what I was here to do.
"You're here for food for Olaf and Idina," I scolded myself. "Don't get sidetracked."
Having only been on a date once (maybe) I was still learning the basics of what to eat, or smell, in our case, on a date. This certainly wasn't Olaf and Idina's first, so it didn't have to be simple. And especially not since it was Valentine's Day. I wondered if there was still any of that chocolate that Steve had for us, with the squares of the chocolate bar only a few millimeters large. Taking a wild guess, I figured that the sweets would be in what the humans called the "junk cupboard."
Unfortunately, the "junk cupboard" was more than just a few feet off the ground. It was the highest one in the kitchen. I grumbled to myself, running in quickly and looking around. I had to be quick and silent, not exactly adjectives that I would associate with myself. But everyone else was counting on me. Though why couldn't Bell do my job? She was small. Plus she had something I lacked: wings.
I clambered up onto the counter using the drawers as stairs.
First order of business, of course, was the tea cupboard. Yes, She's family has a tea cupboard. I can't even believe to describe how much I love that. Many a time I have smelled someone making tea (in a mug in the microwave, She doesn't own an actual stovetop teapot) and I've been tempted myself to go downstairs to see if I could have some. Alas, that is not possible.
I pushed around a couple of tea boxes, looking for the perfect Valentine's day flavor. What flavor was that? No idea. Perhaps that's why it took me so long to find one. There was cinnamon vanilla, raspberry hibiscus, and country peach. Spicy teas, sweet teas, hot and cold teas. Not being one who was good at making quick decisions, I grabbed a pink box that looked a little less than full of teabags. Later it turned out to be summertime strawberry.
With the drinks taken care of, it was time to move onto the food. I figured a cookie would be best, some sort of nice biscuit to complement the tea. "The junk cupboard" on the other side of the kitchen, on the right that I knew had to have something of use in it. I stumbled across the counter and oven to get to that side when...
She's winter boots stomped onto the back deck, the scarf around her mouth frosty with winter air.
That's when I realized what was going on.
I heard someone in the kitchen earlier. It had to have been She. She bundled up in the kitchen and took the dogs for a walk. And now She was just coming home.
Sure enough, two shaking puppies were at her heels, eager to get inside where it was warm and nice. Obviously, I panicked.
I froze like a deer in headlights, stopping right as I opened the cupboard. Which was probably not the best idea. What if She saw me? I'd be dead for sure. In fact, we'd all be dead. Loki, Nessa, Benny, Napoleon, Dorothy, Bell, Sven, Olaf, Idina, and maybe even Steve.
No. Not Steve. Even if the rest of us were doomed, I couldn't let Steve suffer the same fate. No one else deserved to suffer for my fault, but especially not Steve in his musty cardboard prison in the attic.
That gave me the motivation to try harder. I got my opportunity to escape when She was cleaning the fog off her glasses, still outside the house. I dropped off the side, a near two-foot jump, than ran around the corner and into the darkened laundry room. I found a hiding spot behind the open door, where I waited with bated breath, clutching the box of tea in my hands.
I could see it now, the entire doll community in ruins, The Code of Dolls broken beyond repair, and all because of me. I tried not to make my hands glow blue at the thought.
The back door slid open. She coughed, trying to clear the cold winter air from her throat as the two dogs gratefully ran in and immediately found a spot on the floor where warm air filtered through the grate. She stripped off her winter gear and hung everything on the back of a chair, then shook off her snow-plastered boots, leaving just Nordic blue cabin socks on her feet.
My sense of dread increased when I realized what had to come next. I closed my eyes and held my breath as She peeled off her socks, then made her way over to where I was in the laundry room, where the socks would have to be washed. But all I heard was a gentle toss of fabric hitting metal, and then the slamming of the washing machine's lid and a murmur of running water. Then, bare feet hitting the steps to go upstairs, and all other sounds vanished. No gasps. No screams. No wonder or realization of the doll behind the door. I was still safe. We were still safe. For now.
After that almost panic-worthy incident, I wasn't quite so slow with my decision-making process anymore. I grabbed the first bags of things from "the junk cupboard" and went on my way, creeping up the stairs, paranoid by any movement around me, whether the tick of one of the cuckoo clocks or just the house settling due to ice expansion.
She's bedroom came into view and I almost jumped for joy. I forced open the door and closed myself quickly inside, back against the wall, panting away the fear. Thank the heavens Nessa and Loki were the only ones in there. Nessa was trying to be all flirty with Loki, but when you're covered in grime from cleaning one room all by yourself and carrying a broomstick, that can be no easy task. Too bad I was too distracted to laugh.
"Hey, Elsa!" Nessa waved at me, casually leaning against the broomstick. She was oblivious to my predicament. "I found Loki for you so don't worry about him. Turns out he was just collecting decor."
Sure enough, there was a small pile of flowers and pink-and-red craft ribbons in the center of the room.
"What did you find?" Loki asked, making his way towards me.
I sighed. "To be honest, I don't really know myself. I got some strawberry tea, but after that I had to be quick in choosing the food. She was in the same room as me at one point."
"She was?" Loki asked, a look of surprise, alarm, and curiosity on his face. "Did you get caught?"
"No. Almost, but thankfully not."
"That's good. What was She doing?" Loki said, the second sentence nearly running into the first one.
"Do you want to see what Elsa found or not?" Nessa snapped behind him, sounding obviously annoyed.
I let my arms fall, letting the tea box and snack bags spill onto to the floor.
"Ooh, Valentine's Oreos! Nice choice." Nessa picked up one of the small bags containing sandwich cookies that were normally black and white, but as it was a special season, the white frosting had been dyed with the help of food coloring. There were also candied almonds and miniature chocolates. My heart ached when I saw what kind of chocolate it was... the same bar Steve had used for our first, and, at this point, only "date." But it seemed only fitting to override memories of a wonderful date with another wonderful date. One where the relationship might last this time.
I blinked rapidly and pulled the items into my arms again, and with Loki's help, managed to get them up onto the dresser where the food would be safe from the dogs' mouths.
"What do we do now?" I asked, my question pointing at Nessa.
She only shrugged. "The room's clean and we have decorations and food. Honestly, our jobs are technically done. But I'm sure Idina wouldn't mind some help picking out what to wear tonight. Elsa, you and I will take care of that. And Loki..." she wagged her pointer finger at him. "Olaf might need you, too. He's really nervous for the date tonight and right now the only doll with him is Magneto."
"Yikes," Loki sighed, realizing the duty he had to a friend. "I'll go check on him, then."
When Loki left, Nessa packed up her broom and we went out in search of our itty-bitty friend Idina, wary of human activity along the way. So far She was the only one who had gotten close enough to possibly bother our plans, but we didn't want to take the risk of confidently stomping around the house quite yet.
Unsurprisingly, it was not all that difficult to find her. She was just where Nessa told me she would be on that walk there. The mysterious, otherworldly realm unoccupied by any human called The Basement. In capital letters, too.
Idina was down there because The Basement was divided into more sections than any of us dolls could find the time to explore. Besides the lowest level of the house being a teensy bit scary, it was also a maze of rooms. We knew Idina was in the section closest to the stairs because the lights were on. Nessa promised that when I was carrying her down the steps (since the stairs are too big for a three inch ornament to climb at a reasonable time) that it had to be Idina in there and not a human because the room behind the lightened door was completely silent. Unlike Nessa, Idina was almost always quiet when she was alone, preferring internal monologue to external ones. But like Nessa, she could start talking a mile a minute if you got her started on a passionate subject of hers.
One of those passionate subjects? Clothes. And that's just what Nessa and I had to help her find.
I was the one to knock on the door. I heard a little startled peep from the inside and there was no doubt in my mind that it had to be mini-me on the other side. "Idina? It's us, just Nessa and me, Elsa. You can let us in. We're going to help you."
We stood there waiting for a minute, suspecting Idina was taking some time to open the door being so small, but unfortunately not blessed with acrobatic skills like Loki.
Then we heard a tiny click, and it creaked open. A frightened face slowly peeked through the crack left by the door, but then widened into a thankful smile when she saw familiar faces.
"Oh, eet iz you! Please, do come in! I'm horribly stressed trying to figure out how to look tonight!"
"Well, that's why we're here," Nessa explained. "What have you got so far?"
"Not much," Idina admitted. "I picked out a few things dat might work for me to wear, but I'm really not sure. But then I found thiz kit on one of the lower shelves. I think eet was used to style hair for another one of She's dolls that I hope we haven't met. I would not want to be stealing from her. I do not know what Olav would like... but I am so very excited to be having our very first Valentine's date!"
Her little cheeks blushed with excitement. The sight of her being happy with a boyfriend made me feel more than just a bit jealous. Steve should be here, and right now we should be off doing something together. But just thinking of that alone made me feel incredibly guilty. I was here to help this one time. Maybe in the future, if and when Steve returned next year, Idina could be helping me. I held this dream with me as we ran through a thousand options for outfits, how she should wear her hair, what jewelry she should pick, or if we should even bother with shoes considering she had no visible feet... I had no idea that girls were this complicated. Or maybe that was just Idina.
It took maybe an hour or less, but Idina finally decided on something nice. Nessa, with her small and nimble fingers, had used the styling tools to fix Idina's hair into the classic Elsa-side braid that it always was, but with added flair to the bangs and then a heart-shaped hair clip. I mostly helped with the dresses, but Idina kept asking me for other advice.
"You've been on a date, haven't you Elsa?" She asked, spinning around in her fourth dress option, which was one that she had finally chosen to wear by the end, a sparkly pink number that somewhat matched the heart hair accessory.
I bit my lip. "I think I have."
Idina frowned at me. "You can not 'think' love, but you can 'feel' love," she replied. "So it was a date. With..." Idina blinked, almost unsure if she should say the next word, even though we both knew what that word was. "Steve?"
"Yes." I replied. What else was there to say?
"I am zorry about dat." Idina said, her French accent making the "s" sound like a "z". At least she sounded genuine about her apology.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Nessa looking up at me with an expression only a concerned friend would give.
I took a breath, straightened my shoulders, and put on a smile as big and as fake as the lie I was about to tell. "It's okay. He'll be back next year. It makes me happy to see you and Olaf having fun on Valentine's Day, even if I can't."
Idina beamed at me, almost melting my frozen heart. "You're a good friend, Elsa." She said.
"Thank you." I replied, meaning my words in more ways than one.
"You know, it is getting late. Maybe we should get back to bed," She yawned, and then yawned again. "Yeah, we'll do that. Just a bit more- and then we sleep, okay?" She blinked multiple times to try and stay alert, but her tired eyes won in the end. She rested her head on her fist.
We kept watching the movie (the image got better after two minutes or so) until we suddenly heard loud breathing behind us. At some point in time, her earbud had fallen out onto the bed and now She was fast asleep.
I reached up to the laptop and touched the screen, pausing the video. "So, what do we do now?" I asked.
Olaf shrugged, Idina nestled in his arms. "I suppose we just continue doing what we've been doing."
So we did. But the group dispersed, since we didn't have to worry about being caught by the humans now that they were all asleep.
In the end it went kind of like this:
Sven lay on his side, sleeping in a nest of She's shower-wet hair...
*SVEN PIC HERE*
Olaf and Idina were cuddling, while Idina tried in vain to braid Olaf's twig hair as he giggled and pushed her away each time... (They're such a cute couple!)
Nessarose was trying to catch Loki's eye as he strayed father away from the laptop... (He still wanted to watch the movie without being accused of watching it)
And Magneto got up and went straight to his bed on the dresser to sleep.
As far as I knew, everyone else, including Dorothy, Bell, and the nutcracker brothers, were downstairs in their appropriate places for bedtime. I still felt a little guilty about not inviting them to the party, but there was no way to sneak them past She, and I could already hear them politely decline my offer in my head, knowing that they would say no due to it being too late in the night.
Now that I had the laptop all to myself, I scooted closer and put the earbuds on my lap. I knew that Loki would still be able to hear it from where he was. Dolls have very good hearing, surprisingly. Playing the video once more, I watched the rest of the movie. I found myself out of the bedroom and into the lives of people I had just begun to meet. It was almost like I was really there, with them, one of them, listening to their stories, laughing with them, pitying their sorrows, fighting and dancing until my energy wore out.
But when it was over, I realized that I was still just a doll in front of a laptop, on a bed with a sleeping human and exhausted friends. I was happy, too. It was the first movie I had ever actually seen, and it wasn't even mine. But I was also a bit sad that the fun had to end. And tired. Very, very tired. Both physically and emotionally. I needed some sleep.
"What do we do?" Nessa asked, creeping up silently beside me. Like I had any sort of plan!
"I don't know," I replied honestly with a shake of my head. "But we have to get her under the covers somehow, or She'll wake up soon and get suspicious."
"Okay," Nessa said with a nod, and gathered everyone around to help us get She in bed while Olaf and Idina put the laptop and earbuds in a safe place.
We weren't really sure how to tuck a human into bed, but somehow we managed. She is not exactly a small human and I admit it look a while. Her limbs were heavy with sleep, therefore extremely difficult to push under the covers. But once we were satisfied with how She was sitting on the mattress, we used mustered up all of our strength and rolled the blankets over her. She never even stirred, knocked out cold by a late night movie. Sven even helped us at one point. Or at least tried to. He was more or less just nudging the comforter with his head.
Once the hard part was done, the dolls happily gravitated towards their sleeping places. Nessa settled into her bed-box, kicking her feet up on one of the sides. I snuck past Magneto, careful not to disturb him. I don't have a bed of my own, being as tall as I am, but I've got used to sleeping on the bare dresser. Plus the lavender-smelling green checked pillow helps a lot on my neck. But I didn't lay down quite yet. I watched Olaf and Idina go their separate ways for bed, Olaf bending to kiss the top of Idina's hand like a gentleman. Idina giggled and blushed with glee. I began to wonder if they were ever going to get married. It couldn't be long now, could it?
Back on She's bed, I noticed the one doll that had not yet come to bed. Loki stood there on the blanket, looking up at She's sleeping face, which was mostly hidden by her pillow. He was whispering something to her, but even with my doll-quality hearing I could not make out a word. Then he did something that made me feel both fearful for my very existence and emotionally touched. Loki bent down kissed She's hand, just like Olaf had done to Idina seconds earlier. He knew the risks of She feeling his touch and waking, and yet, while Loki was the main enforcer of the Code of Dolls around here, he didn't seem to care in that moment. I'm glad Nessa didn't see any of this, or she would be heartbroken. Something inside of me, though I didn't like that something, ached for someone to kiss my hand before going to bed, too. And I wasn't even sure Steve would do that if he were here with me.
Not surprisingly, I was the last one left awake. I stared up at the paper snowflakes on She's ceiling, twisting my neck this way and that on the sachet pillow to try and get comfortable. My eyes were wide, my pupils trying to drink in the darkness around me, and my head was full of thoughts that couldn't be suppressed or pushed away long enough to get to sleep. Maybe a movie right before bedtime wasn't such a good idea.
"Elsa?" I heard a voice whisper in the night. My first instinct was Olaf, looking for me because he had a nightmare. Olaf, believing that he was a real snowman and not a doll, also believed that I was the Elsa that created him, so he was probably searching for that motherly attention that not all of us get being dolls.
But when my name, "Elsa?" was repeated, I realized that it wasn't Olaf at all. In fact, it was Nessarose.
"Yeah, Nessa?" I whispered back, careful to keep my voice low as not to wake anyone.
"Do you miss Steve?"
I was taken aback by the question, and his name hurt to hear. I didn't think it would, either. I had mostly tried to push thoughts and feelings of him away during the day. I had to for Olaf and Idina's sake, and so the rest of the dolls didn't get tired of my moping.
"Nessa, I-"
"It's okay to be sad." I heard her reply in interruption.
Was it? I suppose nothing was holding me back expect my own dignity. Sadness wasn't a bad emotion at all, we just don't like it because it makes us feel vulnerable and it's inconvenient at times. Sadness means that you require outside help, and often our pride swells to the point where we're embarrassed of our tears and hide them away from the public eye. Yes, we're fine, we can maintain our emotions like grown adults. And while I was made an adult myself, that doesn't mean I had total control over everything, including my own emotions. Sadness was normal. Sadness could be good for you. It cleansed the soul, and helped you recover quicker. And who was I to resist recovery? I was still hurt, enough though I knew for certain now that Steve would be back in less a year's time. And when he did return, I would be waiting for him, and I would feel anything but sadness.
"Yeah," I say quietly. "It is."
"Sven and Loki set out to find a little table or something earlier this morning. Olaf and Idina are deciding what to do on their date, and I'm cleaning up the dresser just in case plan A doesn't work. Plan A is to get the two lovebirds a nice little place to sit and talk for while with some refreshments to share between them. And Elsa, you're on kitchen duty. That's why you got to sleep in late. We don't really need any food until later."
"What kind of food do we want?"
Nessa shrugged and moved Bell's broom around some more, collecting invisible bits of lint and dust. "I don't know. I've never been on a date. And I'm assuming neither have you, unless..." Nessa wagged her index finger at me, and I knew what she was thinking of. "But certainly you must know some food that could work for a romantic setting."
I bit my lip in thought. "Well, usually it would have to be something sweet. Like cake or sandwiches or tea... or..."
"Chocolate." We both said in unison, then giggled. If Nessa and I didn't have any height difference I could have sworn that we were actual sisters.
"Okay. okay," I said as we stopped laughing. "Don't worry, I'll think of something before twelve. I'll go down to the kitchen and see what I can do."
Nessa sighed in relief. I could tell that she had been in charge of most of the planning. "Oh, thanks, Elsa. You're a gem."
I looked over at the clock. We had hours before twelve, enough time to get in and out of the kitchen with a food that Olaf and Idina would be sure to like. I decided that now was as ready as I'd ever be and climbed off the dresser and opened the door.
"Oh, and watch out, the humans are home today." said Nessa casually.
"WHAT?!" I whisper-shouted. I had not expected that! How on earth was this going to work now?
"Yeah, they've been home all morning. And likely will be the rest of the day. So...just be careful out there. Remember you have three hours to get food."
"Um...okay." I stammered, suddenly uncertain of how I was going to accomplish my task.
"And can you check on Loki for me?" Nessa added as I inched reluctantly out the door. "He's been gone an awfully long time. I'm starting to worry if he's okay."
"Sure, Nessa." I replied, my mouth dry. And with one last look at the ornament, I closed the door behind me and began to tiptoe down the hall.
I knew that one human was in the computer room, which wasn't close to the stairs, so I would be okay for now. I heard rustling noises in another room, but the door was closed, so I was fine there, too. One human was out doing whatever humans do when they're not at home, so that meant that the last one was downstairs. I wondered if it was She.
I took each step carefully, measuring out how far to go or how slow I should be or what stairs creaked due to past experiences when the humans weren't home. Every once and a while I would peer through the bars that held up the railing to make sure nobody was watching me or coming my way. No one yet. I leaned forward so I could hear better to see if anyone was in the kitchen.
I listened closely, and nothing happened. No sound at all. Taking my chances, I ran the rest of the way down the stairs silently and turned the corner into the kitchen. Nobody there. I smiled and rubbed my ice-blue hands together like an evil genius. Perfect.
I darted into the kitchen and marveled at the room around me. Despite being sixteen inches tall, and by far the biggest of any other doll She owned or I knew, everything here felt like a giant compared to me. The last time I had really gotten to experience the kitchen area was when Loki, Olaf, and I teamed up to make Benny Norwegian butter cookies in my sixth Christmas post. And during that time we were all on the counter, half of the height of the kitchen in total. Being so small, I felt lost and almost forgot what I was here to do.
"You're here for food for Olaf and Idina," I scolded myself. "Don't get sidetracked."
Having only been on a date once (maybe) I was still learning the basics of what to eat, or smell, in our case, on a date. This certainly wasn't Olaf and Idina's first, so it didn't have to be simple. And especially not since it was Valentine's Day. I wondered if there was still any of that chocolate that Steve had for us, with the squares of the chocolate bar only a few millimeters large. Taking a wild guess, I figured that the sweets would be in what the humans called the "junk cupboard."
Unfortunately, the "junk cupboard" was more than just a few feet off the ground. It was the highest one in the kitchen. I grumbled to myself, running in quickly and looking around. I had to be quick and silent, not exactly adjectives that I would associate with myself. But everyone else was counting on me. Though why couldn't Bell do my job? She was small. Plus she had something I lacked: wings.
I clambered up onto the counter using the drawers as stairs.
First order of business, of course, was the tea cupboard. Yes, She's family has a tea cupboard. I can't even believe to describe how much I love that. Many a time I have smelled someone making tea (in a mug in the microwave, She doesn't own an actual stovetop teapot) and I've been tempted myself to go downstairs to see if I could have some. Alas, that is not possible.
I pushed around a couple of tea boxes, looking for the perfect Valentine's day flavor. What flavor was that? No idea. Perhaps that's why it took me so long to find one. There was cinnamon vanilla, raspberry hibiscus, and country peach. Spicy teas, sweet teas, hot and cold teas. Not being one who was good at making quick decisions, I grabbed a pink box that looked a little less than full of teabags. Later it turned out to be summertime strawberry.
With the drinks taken care of, it was time to move onto the food. I figured a cookie would be best, some sort of nice biscuit to complement the tea. "The junk cupboard" on the other side of the kitchen, on the right that I knew had to have something of use in it. I stumbled across the counter and oven to get to that side when...
She's winter boots stomped onto the back deck, the scarf around her mouth frosty with winter air.
That's when I realized what was going on.
I heard someone in the kitchen earlier. It had to have been She. She bundled up in the kitchen and took the dogs for a walk. And now She was just coming home.
Sure enough, two shaking puppies were at her heels, eager to get inside where it was warm and nice. Obviously, I panicked.
I froze like a deer in headlights, stopping right as I opened the cupboard. Which was probably not the best idea. What if She saw me? I'd be dead for sure. In fact, we'd all be dead. Loki, Nessa, Benny, Napoleon, Dorothy, Bell, Sven, Olaf, Idina, and maybe even Steve.
No. Not Steve. Even if the rest of us were doomed, I couldn't let Steve suffer the same fate. No one else deserved to suffer for my fault, but especially not Steve in his musty cardboard prison in the attic.
That gave me the motivation to try harder. I got my opportunity to escape when She was cleaning the fog off her glasses, still outside the house. I dropped off the side, a near two-foot jump, than ran around the corner and into the darkened laundry room. I found a hiding spot behind the open door, where I waited with bated breath, clutching the box of tea in my hands.
I could see it now, the entire doll community in ruins, The Code of Dolls broken beyond repair, and all because of me. I tried not to make my hands glow blue at the thought.
The back door slid open. She coughed, trying to clear the cold winter air from her throat as the two dogs gratefully ran in and immediately found a spot on the floor where warm air filtered through the grate. She stripped off her winter gear and hung everything on the back of a chair, then shook off her snow-plastered boots, leaving just Nordic blue cabin socks on her feet.
My sense of dread increased when I realized what had to come next. I closed my eyes and held my breath as She peeled off her socks, then made her way over to where I was in the laundry room, where the socks would have to be washed. But all I heard was a gentle toss of fabric hitting metal, and then the slamming of the washing machine's lid and a murmur of running water. Then, bare feet hitting the steps to go upstairs, and all other sounds vanished. No gasps. No screams. No wonder or realization of the doll behind the door. I was still safe. We were still safe. For now.
After that almost panic-worthy incident, I wasn't quite so slow with my decision-making process anymore. I grabbed the first bags of things from "the junk cupboard" and went on my way, creeping up the stairs, paranoid by any movement around me, whether the tick of one of the cuckoo clocks or just the house settling due to ice expansion.
She's bedroom came into view and I almost jumped for joy. I forced open the door and closed myself quickly inside, back against the wall, panting away the fear. Thank the heavens Nessa and Loki were the only ones in there. Nessa was trying to be all flirty with Loki, but when you're covered in grime from cleaning one room all by yourself and carrying a broomstick, that can be no easy task. Too bad I was too distracted to laugh.
"Hey, Elsa!" Nessa waved at me, casually leaning against the broomstick. She was oblivious to my predicament. "I found Loki for you so don't worry about him. Turns out he was just collecting decor."
Sure enough, there was a small pile of flowers and pink-and-red craft ribbons in the center of the room.
"What did you find?" Loki asked, making his way towards me.
I sighed. "To be honest, I don't really know myself. I got some strawberry tea, but after that I had to be quick in choosing the food. She was in the same room as me at one point."
"She was?" Loki asked, a look of surprise, alarm, and curiosity on his face. "Did you get caught?"
"No. Almost, but thankfully not."
"That's good. What was She doing?" Loki said, the second sentence nearly running into the first one.
"Do you want to see what Elsa found or not?" Nessa snapped behind him, sounding obviously annoyed.
I let my arms fall, letting the tea box and snack bags spill onto to the floor.
"Ooh, Valentine's Oreos! Nice choice." Nessa picked up one of the small bags containing sandwich cookies that were normally black and white, but as it was a special season, the white frosting had been dyed with the help of food coloring. There were also candied almonds and miniature chocolates. My heart ached when I saw what kind of chocolate it was... the same bar Steve had used for our first, and, at this point, only "date." But it seemed only fitting to override memories of a wonderful date with another wonderful date. One where the relationship might last this time.
I blinked rapidly and pulled the items into my arms again, and with Loki's help, managed to get them up onto the dresser where the food would be safe from the dogs' mouths.
"What do we do now?" I asked, my question pointing at Nessa.
She only shrugged. "The room's clean and we have decorations and food. Honestly, our jobs are technically done. But I'm sure Idina wouldn't mind some help picking out what to wear tonight. Elsa, you and I will take care of that. And Loki..." she wagged her pointer finger at him. "Olaf might need you, too. He's really nervous for the date tonight and right now the only doll with him is Magneto."
"Yikes," Loki sighed, realizing the duty he had to a friend. "I'll go check on him, then."
When Loki left, Nessa packed up her broom and we went out in search of our itty-bitty friend Idina, wary of human activity along the way. So far She was the only one who had gotten close enough to possibly bother our plans, but we didn't want to take the risk of confidently stomping around the house quite yet.
Unsurprisingly, it was not all that difficult to find her. She was just where Nessa told me she would be on that walk there. The mysterious, otherworldly realm unoccupied by any human called The Basement. In capital letters, too.
Idina was down there because The Basement was divided into more sections than any of us dolls could find the time to explore. Besides the lowest level of the house being a teensy bit scary, it was also a maze of rooms. We knew Idina was in the section closest to the stairs because the lights were on. Nessa promised that when I was carrying her down the steps (since the stairs are too big for a three inch ornament to climb at a reasonable time) that it had to be Idina in there and not a human because the room behind the lightened door was completely silent. Unlike Nessa, Idina was almost always quiet when she was alone, preferring internal monologue to external ones. But like Nessa, she could start talking a mile a minute if you got her started on a passionate subject of hers.
One of those passionate subjects? Clothes. And that's just what Nessa and I had to help her find.
I was the one to knock on the door. I heard a little startled peep from the inside and there was no doubt in my mind that it had to be mini-me on the other side. "Idina? It's us, just Nessa and me, Elsa. You can let us in. We're going to help you."
We stood there waiting for a minute, suspecting Idina was taking some time to open the door being so small, but unfortunately not blessed with acrobatic skills like Loki.
Then we heard a tiny click, and it creaked open. A frightened face slowly peeked through the crack left by the door, but then widened into a thankful smile when she saw familiar faces.
"Oh, eet iz you! Please, do come in! I'm horribly stressed trying to figure out how to look tonight!"
"Well, that's why we're here," Nessa explained. "What have you got so far?"
"Not much," Idina admitted. "I picked out a few things dat might work for me to wear, but I'm really not sure. But then I found thiz kit on one of the lower shelves. I think eet was used to style hair for another one of She's dolls that I hope we haven't met. I would not want to be stealing from her. I do not know what Olav would like... but I am so very excited to be having our very first Valentine's date!"
Her little cheeks blushed with excitement. The sight of her being happy with a boyfriend made me feel more than just a bit jealous. Steve should be here, and right now we should be off doing something together. But just thinking of that alone made me feel incredibly guilty. I was here to help this one time. Maybe in the future, if and when Steve returned next year, Idina could be helping me. I held this dream with me as we ran through a thousand options for outfits, how she should wear her hair, what jewelry she should pick, or if we should even bother with shoes considering she had no visible feet... I had no idea that girls were this complicated. Or maybe that was just Idina.
It took maybe an hour or less, but Idina finally decided on something nice. Nessa, with her small and nimble fingers, had used the styling tools to fix Idina's hair into the classic Elsa-side braid that it always was, but with added flair to the bangs and then a heart-shaped hair clip. I mostly helped with the dresses, but Idina kept asking me for other advice.
"You've been on a date, haven't you Elsa?" She asked, spinning around in her fourth dress option, which was one that she had finally chosen to wear by the end, a sparkly pink number that somewhat matched the heart hair accessory.
I bit my lip. "I think I have."
Idina frowned at me. "You can not 'think' love, but you can 'feel' love," she replied. "So it was a date. With..." Idina blinked, almost unsure if she should say the next word, even though we both knew what that word was. "Steve?"
"Yes." I replied. What else was there to say?
"I am zorry about dat." Idina said, her French accent making the "s" sound like a "z". At least she sounded genuine about her apology.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Nessa looking up at me with an expression only a concerned friend would give.
I took a breath, straightened my shoulders, and put on a smile as big and as fake as the lie I was about to tell. "It's okay. He'll be back next year. It makes me happy to see you and Olaf having fun on Valentine's Day, even if I can't."
Idina beamed at me, almost melting my frozen heart. "You're a good friend, Elsa." She said.
"Thank you." I replied, meaning my words in more ways than one.
***
Probably one of the biggest surprises of any of my days, though especially this one, is that everything turned out just fine. It has to, doesn't it? Or maybe being a Disney doll has brainwashed me into thinking even real world situations get happily ever afters. Not that I minded an optimistic outlook like that. Some days that's all that keeps me going, the hope that everything eventually gets better. And nine times out of ten, I would believe that saying is true.
With Idina dressed up and Olaf getting his encouragement from both Magneto and Loki (though probably mostly Loki) the Valentine's date went on without a hitch. Nessa somehow organized both Olaf and Idina to meet in the same place ahead of time with Loki, and she easily talked Idina into climbing out of the depths of the basement with me as their guide. At the top of the stairs was Olaf, looking surprisingly dapper with his stick-hair combed and a pink bow tie around his neck. He was obviously nervous, but judging by Idina's starry eyes, she didn't seem to care. I dropped Idina off in front of her boyfriend and the rest of us faded into the background.
"Idina, I..." Olaf looked out his feet, than held out leaf taken from a common house plant as a bouquet. I noticed they weren't ones Loki had collected beforehand, so Olaf must have gathered it himself. It was extremely thoughtful. Unfortunately it wasn't a very romantic plant, like roses or anything, but Idina didn't seem to mind.
"Happy Valentine's Day." Olaf finished.
Idina didn't seem to care. She practically squealed but took the leaf delicately from Olaf's hand and pretended to inhale their lovely scent. "Thank you Olav." Idina said, making sure her accent was smoother than silk, and batting her eyelashes.
"Could I... umm... are you ready for our date?" Olaf stammered.
"Of course! When?"
"Right now?" his voice went up an octave, sounding like a question at the end.
Idina laughed musically. "Only eef you can escort me."
Olaf quickly agreed, holding out his arm for Idina to take, then the both of them made their way to the stairs. Fortunately, the humans had gone out for their nightly walk at this point, so there was no danger of being spotted.
Nessa looked extremely proud as the two lovebirds walked away, wiping at the bottom lids of her eyes with one red braid of hair. "OTP." she whispered.
"What?" Magneto asked. Even he couldn't help but think the sappy moment was adorable, his tone less offensive than it usually was.
Fortunately, during my time as a blogger, albeit a short time, I had caught up on most internet lingo and said, "OTP means One True Pair or Only True Pairing. It means you ship a couple so much that it basically becomes your most favorite thing in the world."
Loki raised an eyebrow jokingly. "What do boats have to do with any of this?"
"Nevermind," muttered Nessa, but she playfully elbowed Loki in reply. "I'll explain it to you later."
***
Loki, Olaf, Magneto, and I let Olaf and Idina have some time of themselves upstairs on She's dresser. The strawberry tea had been brewed and poured into little teacups, and cookies and chocolates were split in half to share. Sven had helped Loki and Magneto with setting up minimal, yet atmospheric decorations that could easily be brought down when the humans returned home. There wasn't much else to do but obsess over the leftover candied almonds, revel in our successes, and hope everything went okay for the date.
Nessa was probably the most happy, her black winter boots casually kicked up and crossed over Sven's back as the reindeer attempted to chew up an almond. The poor thing still yet didn't understand the relationship between dolls and food and that we can't actually digest it. Loki sat next to her much to Nessa's pleasure, and he alternated between talking to me and then to Magneto.
Once we reached a dead spot in our chatter, I took the opportunity to step in.
"So... what now?"
Nessa was trying to balance a candied almond on her button nose. "Dunno. But I feel like watching a movie."
"We can't," said Magneto, breaking in with the voice of reason. "Who knows when the humans will be home from their second walk of the day?"
Despite the realism of Magneto's words, I was itching to watch something too. I needed something to take my mind off of everything that was going on around me. Above all else, the fact that Olaf and Idina were having a fancy Valentine's day dinner upstairs. I got a flare of jealousy whenever one of their laughter drifted downstairs. A flare of jealousy, and something else. Sadness. But no, I had to be over Steve's disappearance. It had gone on far too long now and my friends needed me to be happy. Again, I did what I had to do and pushed thoughts of him far back into my mind.
Unfortunately, Magneto's years in the She household had served him well when it came to logic. We had to wait until She returned home, and then maybe, if all things turned out well, we could watch a movie.
Fortunately, the right human had chosen us. After no trace of Olaf and Idina's date were present, and She came back inside, She invited us over onto her bed and opened to laptop so that we could all watch a movie together as a big happy family. She chose The Princess Bride, a movie I'd never seen nor heard of before, but a good one.
It was fun for a while, but during one of the scenes, the picture got blurry due to buffering. She glanced over at the clock on her dresser, and my eyes wandered over there for a split second, too. 11:55.
Once we reached a dead spot in our chatter, I took the opportunity to step in.
"So... what now?"
Nessa was trying to balance a candied almond on her button nose. "Dunno. But I feel like watching a movie."
"We can't," said Magneto, breaking in with the voice of reason. "Who knows when the humans will be home from their second walk of the day?"
Despite the realism of Magneto's words, I was itching to watch something too. I needed something to take my mind off of everything that was going on around me. Above all else, the fact that Olaf and Idina were having a fancy Valentine's day dinner upstairs. I got a flare of jealousy whenever one of their laughter drifted downstairs. A flare of jealousy, and something else. Sadness. But no, I had to be over Steve's disappearance. It had gone on far too long now and my friends needed me to be happy. Again, I did what I had to do and pushed thoughts of him far back into my mind.
Unfortunately, Magneto's years in the She household had served him well when it came to logic. We had to wait until She returned home, and then maybe, if all things turned out well, we could watch a movie.
Fortunately, the right human had chosen us. After no trace of Olaf and Idina's date were present, and She came back inside, She invited us over onto her bed and opened to laptop so that we could all watch a movie together as a big happy family. She chose The Princess Bride, a movie I'd never seen nor heard of before, but a good one.
It was fun for a while, but during one of the scenes, the picture got blurry due to buffering. She glanced over at the clock on her dresser, and my eyes wandered over there for a split second, too. 11:55.
"You know, it is getting late. Maybe we should get back to bed," She yawned, and then yawned again. "Yeah, we'll do that. Just a bit more- and then we sleep, okay?" She blinked multiple times to try and stay alert, but her tired eyes won in the end. She rested her head on her fist.
We kept watching the movie (the image got better after two minutes or so) until we suddenly heard loud breathing behind us. At some point in time, her earbud had fallen out onto the bed and now She was fast asleep.
I reached up to the laptop and touched the screen, pausing the video. "So, what do we do now?" I asked.
Olaf shrugged, Idina nestled in his arms. "I suppose we just continue doing what we've been doing."
So we did. But the group dispersed, since we didn't have to worry about being caught by the humans now that they were all asleep.
In the end it went kind of like this:
Sven lay on his side, sleeping in a nest of She's shower-wet hair...
*SVEN PIC HERE*
Olaf and Idina were cuddling, while Idina tried in vain to braid Olaf's twig hair as he giggled and pushed her away each time... (They're such a cute couple!)
Nessarose was trying to catch Loki's eye as he strayed father away from the laptop... (He still wanted to watch the movie without being accused of watching it)
And Magneto got up and went straight to his bed on the dresser to sleep.
As far as I knew, everyone else, including Dorothy, Bell, and the nutcracker brothers, were downstairs in their appropriate places for bedtime. I still felt a little guilty about not inviting them to the party, but there was no way to sneak them past She, and I could already hear them politely decline my offer in my head, knowing that they would say no due to it being too late in the night.
Now that I had the laptop all to myself, I scooted closer and put the earbuds on my lap. I knew that Loki would still be able to hear it from where he was. Dolls have very good hearing, surprisingly. Playing the video once more, I watched the rest of the movie. I found myself out of the bedroom and into the lives of people I had just begun to meet. It was almost like I was really there, with them, one of them, listening to their stories, laughing with them, pitying their sorrows, fighting and dancing until my energy wore out.
But when it was over, I realized that I was still just a doll in front of a laptop, on a bed with a sleeping human and exhausted friends. I was happy, too. It was the first movie I had ever actually seen, and it wasn't even mine. But I was also a bit sad that the fun had to end. And tired. Very, very tired. Both physically and emotionally. I needed some sleep.
"What do we do?" Nessa asked, creeping up silently beside me. Like I had any sort of plan!
"I don't know," I replied honestly with a shake of my head. "But we have to get her under the covers somehow, or She'll wake up soon and get suspicious."
"Okay," Nessa said with a nod, and gathered everyone around to help us get She in bed while Olaf and Idina put the laptop and earbuds in a safe place.
We weren't really sure how to tuck a human into bed, but somehow we managed. She is not exactly a small human and I admit it look a while. Her limbs were heavy with sleep, therefore extremely difficult to push under the covers. But once we were satisfied with how She was sitting on the mattress, we used mustered up all of our strength and rolled the blankets over her. She never even stirred, knocked out cold by a late night movie. Sven even helped us at one point. Or at least tried to. He was more or less just nudging the comforter with his head.
Once the hard part was done, the dolls happily gravitated towards their sleeping places. Nessa settled into her bed-box, kicking her feet up on one of the sides. I snuck past Magneto, careful not to disturb him. I don't have a bed of my own, being as tall as I am, but I've got used to sleeping on the bare dresser. Plus the lavender-smelling green checked pillow helps a lot on my neck. But I didn't lay down quite yet. I watched Olaf and Idina go their separate ways for bed, Olaf bending to kiss the top of Idina's hand like a gentleman. Idina giggled and blushed with glee. I began to wonder if they were ever going to get married. It couldn't be long now, could it?
Back on She's bed, I noticed the one doll that had not yet come to bed. Loki stood there on the blanket, looking up at She's sleeping face, which was mostly hidden by her pillow. He was whispering something to her, but even with my doll-quality hearing I could not make out a word. Then he did something that made me feel both fearful for my very existence and emotionally touched. Loki bent down kissed She's hand, just like Olaf had done to Idina seconds earlier. He knew the risks of She feeling his touch and waking, and yet, while Loki was the main enforcer of the Code of Dolls around here, he didn't seem to care in that moment. I'm glad Nessa didn't see any of this, or she would be heartbroken. Something inside of me, though I didn't like that something, ached for someone to kiss my hand before going to bed, too. And I wasn't even sure Steve would do that if he were here with me.
Not surprisingly, I was the last one left awake. I stared up at the paper snowflakes on She's ceiling, twisting my neck this way and that on the sachet pillow to try and get comfortable. My eyes were wide, my pupils trying to drink in the darkness around me, and my head was full of thoughts that couldn't be suppressed or pushed away long enough to get to sleep. Maybe a movie right before bedtime wasn't such a good idea.
"Elsa?" I heard a voice whisper in the night. My first instinct was Olaf, looking for me because he had a nightmare. Olaf, believing that he was a real snowman and not a doll, also believed that I was the Elsa that created him, so he was probably searching for that motherly attention that not all of us get being dolls.
But when my name, "Elsa?" was repeated, I realized that it wasn't Olaf at all. In fact, it was Nessarose.
"Yeah, Nessa?" I whispered back, careful to keep my voice low as not to wake anyone.
"Do you miss Steve?"
I was taken aback by the question, and his name hurt to hear. I didn't think it would, either. I had mostly tried to push thoughts and feelings of him away during the day. I had to for Olaf and Idina's sake, and so the rest of the dolls didn't get tired of my moping.
"Nessa, I-"
"It's okay to be sad." I heard her reply in interruption.
Was it? I suppose nothing was holding me back expect my own dignity. Sadness wasn't a bad emotion at all, we just don't like it because it makes us feel vulnerable and it's inconvenient at times. Sadness means that you require outside help, and often our pride swells to the point where we're embarrassed of our tears and hide them away from the public eye. Yes, we're fine, we can maintain our emotions like grown adults. And while I was made an adult myself, that doesn't mean I had total control over everything, including my own emotions. Sadness was normal. Sadness could be good for you. It cleansed the soul, and helped you recover quicker. And who was I to resist recovery? I was still hurt, enough though I knew for certain now that Steve would be back in less a year's time. And when he did return, I would be waiting for him, and I would feel anything but sadness.
"Yeah," I say quietly. "It is."
Hoping for a better tomorrow,
Queen Elsa
