***
I look up at the ceiling and expect to see stars. Planets, galaxies, night clouds, anything. Instead I see white firework patterns and handmade paper snowflakes hanging from the wall with light blue thread. But then, if I try hard enough and I squint really hard, I see can the universe stretching out before me. Then I get bored and my back was able to cry out loud enough for me to turn around and face the wall. The wall shows things, too, but they're not as interesting. It's just a plain blue wall, but it's pretty. If I stare at it long enough, I can see movie Anna and Elsa building Olaf for the first time, but it makes me sad, so I turn away and go back to searching the ceiling.It's been a terribly long day. The longest day a doll could ever possibly have. And we actually didn't do anything. The humans spent most of their day at home, since it was the official start of winter/holiday break for She, and whenever we dolls got sometime for ourselves, it was mostly just helping Napoleon out with his amnesia. He and Benny were able to bond over Napoleon's fall, but he still had a lot to catch up on.
All of the reintroduction made all of us especially tired, except while Loki was curled up in his little green blanket and Olaf was snoring softly next to me, I couldn't find sleep. I wasn't even sure if Sleep was a real person or not anymore, it felt like years since we had gone to bed at ten.
Ever since then I'd been in and out of sleep, teleporting in and out of dreams that only lasted a few seconds at most, and none of them interesting. It was a very light, unsatisfying sleep, and it felt like my eyes were about to drop out of my head, but fortunately, they were painted onto me. That was probably the good thing about all of this, is that I was a doll and I really didn't require sleep, but I really wanted it.
It also didn't help that Olaf was making this really weird whimpering noise throughout the whole night. I suspected that he was having a nightmare, but what if he wasn't? I didn't want to wake him up for nothing. He might turn out the same way as me after that, and unable to fall back to sleep after that. Either way, I just didn't have to heart to do it.
So I say laid there, in the dark, counting sheep and imaging I was swimming deep in the ocean, or whatever the humans do for sleep remedies. Finally, I could take it no longer. I turned over on my side again and watched She's wall. It was kind of like a movie of whatever my brain decided to play. Regrettably, it was little Anna and Elsa building Olaf, that one scene at the beginning of Frozen. It hurt to see Anna, as I had never had a sister, and at the rate She was getting new dolls, I probably would never get one. So I just focused on Olaf in the picture. How strange of the two girls to love him so much when he wasn't even alive yet. The way they played about with him and ice skated, it was like he was real in their imaginations. The trick seemed to work. Sleep was slowly finding me as I actually struggled to stay awake and see Anna and Elsa play with their snow friend, but my eyelids were heavy and a pleasant numbing sensation told me to let it take over. I obeyed and closed my eyes.
No sooner had I done so that I heard a scream that woke me up again immediately.
In a blurred panic, I flipped on my switch and sent a blast of ice careening across the room from my outstretched hand. It hit the ceiling fan in She's room and shattered. The ice didn't leave an actual mark, but the fan spun around as I stared at it and tried to make my shallow breaths softer.
Loki was the first to speak. He was begrudgingly trying to stand up. "Okay, what happened?" his voice was kind of angry or accusing, I wasn't sure which. I guess I would be, too, if I was woken up by a scream at... (I checked She's alarm clock) four in the morning. How wonderful.
"It was me... I... I had a nightmare." Olaf squeaked. And it looked like he really had. His face was as pale as a snowman's could be, his pupils were dilated to small black specks, and his entire body was shaking with fear. He actually looked like he was about to cry, even though dolls can't shed real tears.
"Oh, Olaf." I cooed, and scooped him up in a big hug. What else was I supposed to do? Hugs seemed to solve everything from what I've seen during my time on the shelf at Wandering Oaken's Trading Post. Any time a child fell in the store or they were sad, someone would always sweep them up into a warm, fuzzy hug. Sure enough, after a big bear hug and a few comforting pats on the back, Olaf's breathing was normal and he was able to pull away from me and talk about his dream.
Loki, however, looked annoyed and did not want anything to do with... anything. Especially hugs.
"Feel better?" I asked, giving Olaf one last gentle squeeze before completely pulling away.
Olaf took a deep breath and let it out. "Yeah, I think so."
"So tell us what happened in your nightmare." I said. Out of the corner of my eyes, I say Loki roll his, as if to say, "us?" Geez, he's about as crabby in the mornings as Magneto usually is during the day.
"Well..." Olaf began to wring his hands in the anticipation of having to repeat what he saw in his nightmare. "I don't really want to say it."
"That's okay, we'll guess," I said, rubbing my eyes. I hadn't realized how tired I really was, but Olaf needed me, so I had to stay cheerful and awake. "Was it about Napoleon's amnesia?" I knew that if I had a nightmare, that's what it was going to be about.
"No."
"Was it about a dark, scary place?"
"No, not really."
"Were you back in your store in your dream?" I asked, remembering the dream I had just a week ago about Molly falling off her shelf in Wandering Oaken's.
Olaf tapped his chin. "Yes. I was back in the store with my brothers."
"Okay, getting close. Are you ready to tell us now?"
Olaf nodded. "I think so."
"Okay. What happened?"
Across the dresser, Loki sighed and sat down on his blanket. I could tell me wanted to be doing anything than this right now, but at least he wasn't being too rude or anything. Yet.
"It started off with me and the five other Olafs in the store. It was during the day, but not many people were around trying to buy us. So we were kind of playing around. Tom was the leader of the games as always, and we were playing a game called, "Try To Get Around the Store Without Being Caught By a Human." he explained.
"Hm, interesting name." Loki commented, staring at his blanket with a smirk on his face.
I shot Loki a sort of a scowl. Olaf was basically a little kid. Even the slightest comment against what he believed was real life could hurt him.
"We never played the game much in real life, because our store was always full of people. But not in my dream. No humans seemed to be anywhere. So that's what we did. Tom lead us around the store. We climbed up shelf and into boxes and stood absolutely still whenever the rare but occasional human happened by. It was a fun game. We mostly tried to stay together, but Olafs number one through four where always trying to get ahead of me and Tom was all the way at the front of the line. So I was struggling to try and get to him. But he seemed so far away. I tried running, but I stayed on one place no matter how hard I tried. And whenever I did catch up somehow, all of the other Olafs were long gone. I looked around and tried to find someone, anyone, but no one was there. The store was dark and empty. No people, no other Olafs, no one one. I was alone. I was about to give up when I saw a light coming from under a door. I knew it to be the supply closet, where they kept the extra Elsas and Annas and Olafs to replace us once we were found. I thought maybe they were in there, so I opened the door. But it lead outside. It was a very pretty day. The sun was shining, flowers were blooming, and bees were buzzing around. I stepped outside and saw my brothers. All of the other Olafs had been trying to escape the store without me! So I ran to catch up. I called their names. But they didn't hear me or see me. And the longer I kept running towards them, the weaker I got. That was when I realized that I was melting! And I was melting really fast, too. That's when Tom turned around from the rest of the group to look at me. And he didn't even do anything! So I melted, and that was that. Nobody cared to help me at all." Olaf finished his tale, and I noticed that his bottom lip was trembling dangerously.
"Olaf, you know that your brothers would have never left you behind in real life, right?" I asked him.
"I don't know." he replied, with a sad little shrug that broke my heart.
"They wouldn't. And you know that. Tom was one of your very best friends, wasn't he? He wouldn't have done something like that to you."
"I guess not."
"He wouldn't have. Tom liked you a lot. It was just a bad dream, Olaf."
"Really? Because-" Olaf began, but I decided to interrupt him be things could get worse.
"Brothers don't let brothers die. Trust me," I said, then I got an idea. "Olaf, have I ever told you of the bad dream I had last week?"
Olaf straightened up. There was something I had learned about him recently. Olaf loved stories. He didn't even care if they were good stories. He didn't even mind listening to Napoleon ramble on about American history as long as there was a story within it. His favorites were the ones Dorothy and Bell made up out of spontaneity to help him get to sleep. Most of the stories they told him were about a little snowman named Olaf experiencing summer for the first time, without ever melting. They put them right to sleep. But since Dorothy and Bell were downstairs, I guess I had to fill in for them tonight. Well, I guess it was early morning, no longer the night.
I told Olaf about the scary dream I had of Molly being knocked off the shelf by the evil Hans doll. Maybe it wasn't the best story to tell, but I changed it up a bit and gave it a happy ending instead, combining my first dream of Molly dying with the one dream I had later, about me helping her off the floor and curing her amnesia. Just like we were trying to do with Napoleon.
Olaf was an attentive listener the whole time. He stared at me, smiling and wide-eyed, and even clapped a little (not loud enough for She to hear) after I had finished. I felt kind of proud of myself for coming up with the idea in the first place. Everything seemed to be working out. I was able to get the image of Olaf's bad dream out of his mind and keep She asleep. Even Loki was quiet when I was finished.
"That was a good story!" Olaf squealed, much like a small child. "Tell me another one!"
I shook my head. "Olaf, it's four thirty in the morning. I can't. We have to get back to sleep."
"Ah, but I can't sleep now! I'm too excited!"
I bit my lip. Maybe getting him all hyped up for a story was not the greatest idea. I decided I would need help getting Olaf back to sleep.
"Loki. Psst. Loki." I whispered in his direction. No response. When I got up and walked over to his blanket, I noticed that the little elf-man was fast asleep on his side, cape curled around him like a bedsheet. I guess stories work on him. I debated whether to wake him up or not, but it didn't take long to decide. I lightly kicked him a couple of times until I saw his eyes open.
"Ugh," he groaned when he saw me. "Now what do you want?"
"You fell asleep." I said, stating the obvious.
"Yeah, your story was so boring it put me right to sleep." he said, sitting up again.
Olaf giggled. "Elsa's going to tell me another story!"
Like I had a choice now. "The reason why I woke you up is because I don't know any other good stories to tell Olaf," I explained to Loki. "Could you help?"
"Well, I'm not much of a storyteller myself," he replied. "She is, but I seriously doubt that we should wake her up."
"How would you know that She- nevermind. What are we going to do?"
"Why don't you read him a story? You don't have to make one up off the top of your head like Dorothy and Bell do."
"Yeah, but I can't read very well."
Loki sighed. "So you really need my help, then?"
"That's why I woke you up."
"Fine. There's a collection of Christmas stories in She's bookshelf. Why don't we pick one from that to read?"
"How do you know that?"
"It's what I do when I have some time on my hands."
"You read?" Olaf asked, flabbergasted.
"Sometimes," said Loki. "I'll get the book for you if you want."
"Yes, please." I said, glad that he was helping, regardless if he really wanted to or not.
Loki jumped off the dresser, went over to the bookshelf, and pulled out a thick red book. I was watching him the whole time, my mind kind of wandering off to I don't know where, until I noticed he was struggling to pick it up, and I went over and helped him. I had almost forgotten that Loki was barely five inches tall. He could just do so much by himself that the thought never really crossed my mind. The two of us were able to lift it up onto the dresser without disturbing She, and then Olaf grabbed it and pulled it up.
"Alright, that's it." Loki decided.
"What? I thought you were going to help us." I said, a little shocked.
"I just did."
"Yeah... but I thought you were going to read."
"Sorry, Elsa, but I'm going back to bed."
I turned up my nose at him. "Fine, whatever. I'll read to Olaf myself." I was done with Loki. He could go back to bed if he wanted.
"Yay!" Olaf said happily, and found a comfy spot on the dresser to sit.
I opened the large book and turned to the table of contents. There were so many stories to read. Now I just had to find one that Olaf would like to hear. I picked the first one I saw, called The Twelve Days of Christmas. It was actually a song that I had heard by the same name that gave me the idea to start doing the Christmas blog posts in that fashion. I hoped that the story might give me some inspiration. It had been nearly a week and so far I had written nothing to post.
"Okay, Olaf, I'm going to read you a story called The Twelve Days of Christmas."
Loki chortled. I guess he got the joke.
"Hey, I thought you were asleep!" I hissed.
"I'm trying to be." he said, though I couldn't see him in the dark.
"Still awake and yet refuses to help," I muttered, then turned back to Olaf. "Now, you'll have to forgive me, my reading skills aren't that good. Unlike Loki, who can read perfectly well, but just doesn't feel like helping out."
"That's okay, Elsa, you can read to me."
"I'm going to," I said, then cleared my throat and turned to the page where The Twelve Days of Christmas story was. "Here we go. On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a par... a part-ridge in a pair tree." I read.
"You're supposed to sing it." I heard Loki say.
"Well, I don't hear you singing." I said bitterly.
"What's a partridge?" Olaf asked.
"I don't know. The picture shows a bird. In a tree with oblong yellow fruit."
"Really? There's pictures? Can I see?"
I sighed. Not even five minutes into the story and this idea was already a disaster. Loki was being impossible to deal with, I was getting moody and I couldn't read, and it wasn't calming Olaf down at all. And did I mention it was four-something in the morning, with a sleeping human a few feet away from the dresser?
But I continued to read. Slowly, but I was still reading, at least. "On the sec-second day of Christmas my true love gave to me, two turt-le doves, and a partridge in a pair tree."
"Are turtle doves like white birds that look like turtles, or turtles that look like white birds?" Olaf asked.
"They're just birds." Loki said. So much for trying to go back to sleep.
"On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me, three Frenk, I mean, French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pair tree."
"Frenk?" said Loki.
I pushed the book away angrily. "If you think you can do a better job at reading this story, then you come over and do it yourself."
"Fine, I will." said Loki, standing up without hesitation.
"Really? You will?" Olaf sounded surprised. But I was relieved. I didn't know how much more of this I could take.
"Sure, but I'm not singing it."
"It doesn't matter. Just read, please."
Loki shrugged and took my place as I sat down next to Olaf and put my head on his shoulder. I had an airy sort of headache, just from a few sentences of reading, and I really needed sleep. At least now I had a break.
Loki finished the rest of the story with no problem. I had my eyes closed and I wasn't really listening, but I did hear of a true love giving somebody fantastical, strange presents. Like six geese a-laying and eleven pipers piping. Whatever that means. It was a little strange.
But talks of milking maids and drumming drummers didn't put Olaf to sleep. It didn't even decrease his energy level at all. If anything, he was even more energetic.
"Maybe if you read another story." I had opened my eyes long enough to mouth those words to Loki.
He nodded and found another story within the book, one called The Nutcracker.
"Haha, like Napoleon and Benny!" Olaf cried. I shushed him immediately after. We had to keep our voices down if we didn't want to wake up She.
"Exactly," Loki agreed. "It's about a young girl named Clara, who receives a nutcracker as a Christmas gift from her grandfather. At night Clara's nutcracker comes to life to battle a mouse king and take Clara to the Land of Sweets."
"Hm, it sounds like you already know this story." I commented, taking my head off of Olaf's shoulder. This was a story that I wanted to pay complete attention to. It sounded good.
"No, I just read the synopsis. Anyway, the story starts off on Christmas Eve night in Germany. Clara, a little girl, is waiting by the window in her house for her grandfather to arrive. Everyone loved Clara's grandfather. He was a odd-looking man, but he was kindly and he often brought all of the children wonderful treats and presents. When Clara's grandfather arrives, he gives Clara the best Christmas present out of all the other children. It is a handsome nutcracker doll dressed like a soldier. That night, Clara falls asleep on the couch, but wakes up to a terrible noise. She finds that her nutcracker doll has come to life and he is bravely fighting a giant evil mouse king."
Loki frowns in confusion at the book. "Did I just read that right? A giant evil mouse king?"
"You must have. But it worries me that the humans are writing and reading stories about dolls coming to life." I said with a weak smile.
"Why? What's wrong with dolls coming to life?" Olaf asked. Poor thing didn't know what he was.
"It was probably just a flight of fancy. They don't really believe that it happens." Loki explained.
"Tell me more about the mouse king! Does the nutcracker die?"
"Dolls can't die, Olaf." I reassured him.
"Yeah, but who wins the battle?"
"The nutcracker defeats the mouse king by cutting off his hea- I mean, chasing him back into his mouse hole. Then the nutcracker turns into a real soldier and addresses a surprised Clara. He takes Clara's hand and they fly into a magical land of sweets in the snowy night sky."
My eyelids flutter, imaging the whimsical scene. I was too tired to even question how a nutcracker should change into a human and fly away with a young human girl into a supposed Land of Sweets. It seemed to be a wonderful dream.
"And then what?" Olaf asked, rocking back and forth in excitement.
"The nutcracker introduced Clara to the king and queen of the Land of Sweets. Clara realized that her nutcracker turned human must have been the prince. They were given splendorous clothes to wear and thrones to sit on while a show was performed for them. There were the dancing sugar-plum fairies, dainty ballerinas, and Mother Gingerbread, whose skirts were so big that all of her seven children were able to fit underneath it. Then they would come out of her skirt one by one and dance in a circle around Clara and her prince."
Loki frowned at the book once again, the shadows of the night crossing his face and making it hard for me to see him. "...Weird..." Was all that he was able to say.
"Germany." Was my only explanation for that, because I wasn't quite sure myself.
But Loki kept reading and the book ended with Clara and the nutcracker prince flying back to her house and putting her back to bed. Then Clara awoke the next morning to see that her nutcracker was back to being a doll. So now we had to decide for ourselves whether or not it really happened or it was all just a dream. It sort of reminded me of The Wizard of Oz, which Dorothy had told me about one day. That, or Alice in Wonderland.
"I think that it was all real." said Olaf.
"Seriously?" Loki raised an eyebrow. "How is any of that real?"
"Don't doubt magic." I said quietly.
"Elsa's right. You don't know for sure. There could be a Land of Sweets. Nutcrackers might be able to turn into human princes. And maybe a dress skirt could be big enough to fit seven children underneath."
"And mice have a monarchy," Loki muttered. "Are you ready to go to bed yet, Olaf?"
"Nope! I'm wide awake!"
I yawned, trying to hold it back at first but just giving up and letting it take over. "Why not another story?"
Loki smiled. "Well, at least we know that it's working for Elsa."
"Mm-hm." I replied, closing my eyes and leaning against Olaf once again. The good thing about plush dolls is that they were almost soft enough to be a pillow.
Loki read two more stories, but I was kind of half-awake for them. I know that one of them was about a little fir tree that wanted to as big and as tall as the other trees around him. But then he realized that if he was too big, he would not be brought into a special house to become a Christmas tree, decorating with bright strings of light and colored bulbs and ornaments. So in the end the tree is happy to be what he is. The other one was about a small boy, by the name of Charlie Brown. Nobody likes Charlie for whatever reason but they still want him to be the director of their school's Christmas play. I guess they couldn't find any human adults to do the job, so they hired the depressed kid no one likes. I didn't really understand the story at all. But Charlie has a dog named Snoopy who is in with the times on a commercialized Christmas. Olaf and Loki found him funny, and the moral of the story was... I don't remember. I'll admit that the Charlie Brown story wasn't my favorite. There was also a third one, though brief, about the birth of a baby boy named Jesus. He was born in a stable, and then shepherds and three kings came to deliver gifts. I didn't quite understand that one, though I felt a strange connection to it, a sign that we may just know more about it later.
At the end of the second story, Loki looked exhausted. He was swaying slightly, but still trying to say upright as his unfocused eyes remained glued on one spot on the wall. I wondered if he could see the moving pictures on them, too.
"You doing okay?" I asked him kindly.
Loki shook his head to clear it as if he were an Etch-a-Sketch. "Yeah, fine. What next?"
"Well, I'm still wide awake." said Olaf.
"Why don't I tell you one more? A Christmas Carol. It's one of my favorites."
Olaf's shoulders slumped. "Aw, only one more?"
"I don't know how much longer I can stay awake, buddy," Loki replied with a yawn. "But I'll try."
Loki turned to The Christmas Carol story and began to read, only with much more struggle this time around, squinting at the paper and slurring his words slightly.
"Want me to take over reading?" I asked him. I didn't really want to, but it made me guilty to see him like this.
"No, no, I'll do it," he said. "But... I honestly could use some light. It's kind of hard to see these pages. My eyes were adjusted to the darkness earlier, but now I'm getting too tired to see."
Light, light... what did we have that could produce light, and wouldn't wake She up immediately? The overhead fan was too big, the lamp was too far away from us, and I didn't know where She kept her flashlight.
Luckily Olaf had a good idea. "Elsa, just use your powers!"
"I can't Olaf, She will notice if She finds ice or melted water in her room."
"No, not for that," said Olaf. "Just turn on your switch thingy. Then your hands will glow and we can have light."
I looked at Loki for approval. He didn't say anything, as if testing me to see if I would do it. I looked down at my hands. There was no real glow to them, but their unusual icy blue color was bright, yet not bright enough. Still, I wasn't sure. Could I do it? No, I knew I could, but should I?
I took a deep breath and flipped on my switch, then hummed a little bit of an old Christmas song I didn't know the name of, except the singer repeats the phrase, "Let it Snow" a lot. I chose it because it reminded me of "Let it Go." My hands slowly built up a chilly, bright blue glow. Just enough to light up the papers on the book, but dull enough so that it wouldn't appear behind She's closed eyelids.
Olaf gasped happily, and Loki smiled. I knew that we had done the right thing.
"Great idea, Olaf," I whisperd. "Now, do you want to continue reading, so shall I take over?"
"No, I think I'm good to go now," Loki replied. "Maybe it would be best for you to stand behind me, though, so you can use your hands to light the book."
"Okay." I said, then moved closer to him.
"Me too?" Olaf asked, as if he needed approval from any of us.
"Oh, come on over." said Loki. The three of us huddled around the book. It was actually a very good system for us. I could use my hands to light the book, Loki could see better to read, and Olaf could point out the different pictures on each page.
"Remind us what this one is called again."
"A Christmas Carol. I've read it multiple times because it's one of my favorites. I think you'll like it, too. It reminds me of Magneto."
"Magneto? How so?" Olaf asked.
"You'll see," Loki said, and cleared his throat. "There once was a grumpy old man named Ebeneezer Scrooge-"
I laughed out loud, then immediately covered my mouth. A grumpy old man did sound a lot like a certain supervillain key-chain that we knew, but maybe that was going too far by agreeing. Magneto had some goodness in him, it's just that whatever happened to him in the past (which I'm still trying to figure out) hardened him into a seemingly selfish sort of person. But he wasn't. Well, isn't. I know that he isn't.
Loki crafted a wonderful story, though it wasn't exactly his, about Ebeneezer Scrooge. Scrooge hated Christmas, but his only worker, Bob Cratchit, loved it. Bob was a kindhearted man that worked well but was paid little by the greedy Scrooge. On Christmas Eve, Scrooge was visited by the ghost of his friend, Jacob Marley. Marley died when Scrooge killed him to get more of the money they earned from the bank. (I was able to read this part over Loki's shoulder, but we skipped over it for Olaf. Probably not the best thing to say for a bedtime story.) Marley told Scrooge that he would be visited by three other spirits. The spirits of Christmas past, present, and future. He learns something from each of them, and how to live his life by being a good person before it's too late and he dies a horrible death. Lovely! And you probably know the rest. It's a very popular Christmas story for humans. But Olaf and I really enjoyed it. I could see why it was Loki's favorite.
And it did remind me of Magneto a little more than it probably should have. I wondered if he could change just like Scrooge did. By forgetting whatever happened in the past and learning from it to become a better person. But forgetting the past and moving on just like that isn't that easy. I knew the feeling well.
"More! More!" Olaf said. So I guess the stories had the opposite effect on him.
Loki shook his head. "I'm just about done, buddy."
I felt a pang of empathy. There had to be something I could do. Loki had been holding out for the longest time, taking my place and trying to put Olaf to sleep. But maybe it was my turn to take over again.
"I'll do it." I proclaimed.
Loki raised an eyebrow. "Really? Are you sure?"
"I know I'm not that great a reader, but I can certainly try. Just don't judge me on my poor reading skills, okay?"
Loki offered his spot in front of the book. "Please, be my guest."
Olaf hummed the tune of "Be Our Guest" from Beauty and the Beast and I laughed. "Is that a yes, Olaf? You'll let me read to you?"
The snowman just shrugged. "Yeah, okay. Pick something good!"
So I picked a sweet romantic story. I'm a girl. It's kind of in my nature to do that.
It was called The Gift of the Magi, but apparently it goes other alternative titles as well. I think Disney did a remake of this with Mickey and Minnie but I'm honestly not sure. I think it has something to do with a harmonica. And a Christmas tree farm. But that's not the topic.
"Once upon a time," I began. The story really didn't start off "once upon a time" but I believe that all good stories have to start out that way. I waited until Loki had sat down Indian-style next to Olaf on the dresser. "Once upon a time there lived a young couple in a small a-part-ment in New York City. They were a poor couple who could not afford much at all. But Christmas was slowly ap...approaching. It was actually just the day before. The woman, Della, wanted to buy the man, Jim, a Christmas present. But all she had for s... spe... spending money was one dollar and eighty seven cents. She had been saving up her money for months, since Della wanted to buy her hus-band a gift. But one dollar and eighty five cents wasn't enough for anything that could show Jim how much she loved him. Della cried."
Now it was my turn to frown at the book. This wasn't a very happy story at all. But I kept reading.
"But she wasn't going to give up. Della had very long, thin brown hair that reached the tops of her feet. Della knew a lady that b-bought hair and made it into wigs. Ner-nervously, Della went to the hair-dresser and put her hair down. It was like a brown cascade, and the lady knew that Della's hair was worth a lot. She paid her twenty dollars, then cut off Della's hair. Now Della had enough money to buy Jim a good present. She knew ex... exactly what to get him. Jim treasured a small gold pocket-watch that had been in his family for generations. So Della would get him a nice gold chain so Jim could wear the watch on his wrist."
I looked up from the book for a moment to see how my audience was doing. Olaf sat attentive for me to go on, but Loki was nodding off and snapping back to reality every few seconds. I smiled. He was being strong for us.
(You can't see it too well since it was dark, but I'm holding the christmas collection book in this pic)
"But Jim was also having the same problem. He wanted to buy Della a good present as well, but couldn't afford much, either. He loved her beautiful long hair-"
"Uh oh," Olaf gasped. "But she cut it all off!"
I smiled again and started reading. I could almost already see where all of this was going.
"-So he de... decided to but her some lovely turtleshell combs for her to keep her long hair nice and smooth. But this meant that Jim had to trade something in order to have enough money to pay for the combs. So he sold his next most prized possession, his family's gold watch."
Olaf gasped again. "But she cut her hair! And Della already bought Jim a chain for his watch!"
Loki laughed and shook his head, as if to say, "Way to spoil the ending, Olaf."
"Jim re-turned home from a long day at work. Della was busy making dinner, which wasn't very much food, even on Christmas eve. Della was very nervous. Since she had cut it and sold it to buy the watch chain, she was afraid that Jim might leave her since he always loved her hair. But when Jim came in the house and saw Della with-out her hair, he was very surprised. Della stood there as he realized what had happened. Fear overcame her and she began to cry. But Jim hugged her and said that Della herself was worth more than her hair."
Aw, now that was sweet. It kind of made me wish I had that sort of thing happen to me.
"The two of them ate dinner and de...decided that they wanted to give gifts the night before actual Christmas day. Jim gave Della her gift first. Della was very ex-cited when she was opening the box, but then suddenly began to cry again when she saw what was inside. It was a set of beautiful turtleshell combs, but now her hair was much too short to style and comb. Jim saw Della's gift for him and laughed sadly. He explained to her that he had trade... traded his watch to pay for her combs. Della laughed as well, saying that she had cut and sold her hair to pay for the gold chain. But the both of them were happy, because they loved each-other so much that they were able to make sac... sacrifices. Della loved the combs very much and kept them until her hair was able to grow out again. Jim did, too, and he still wore the gold chain around his wrist, even without his watch. This story was insp-inspired by the three wise men that brought gifts to the baby Jesus at the manger. This act started the tradition of Christmas gifts for everyone."
And that was the end of the story. It was a good one, at least in my opinion. But I'm a sucker for romantic tales. I suppressed a cough, only because She was asleep. My voice was getting tired from reading so much.
"So what did you think of that, Olaf?" I asked.
The snowman stared straight ahead, as if, the question hadn't yet reached his brain. Then he started rocking back and forth and replied, "It was alright. Though a little slow. Can you read something else?"
"Okay, clearly this book isn't working for Olaf," Loki said. He took it from my hands and tossing it out of the way.
"Well, then what do you suggest we do?" I asked.
"She writes stories. Well, at least She used to when She was younger. Maybe there's one on Christmas that we could read to Olaf."
I glanced over at She. Shallow, steady breathing, unmoving. She had no idea what was going on, what we were planning to do or what we were currently doing. By reading one of her stories, I felt like I was betraying her in some day. We hadn't even done anything yet, but I still felt the guilt sinking in.
"Um... I don't know." I mumbled.
"Oh, come on, Elsa. She won't mind. We'll put everything back in it's exact place when we're done."
I furrowed my brow. I was secretly very curious to see what She wrote about, and how good She actually was at writing (especially at a young age) and Loki was actually letting me explore. He actually suggested that we do so. Maybe this is what he was like when he was tired.
"Please, Elsa?" Olaf begged, stretching out the word "please" as if that would sway my vote.
"Well... okay." I finally decided. I guess the longer "please" works.
Loki smiled, somewhat mischievously, which scared me, but only a little. I trusted him not to get into any trouble. At least I think I did. "Great."
"So... where does She keep the books She's written?"
Loki hopped off the dresser and started making his way across the room.
"How do you... oh, nevermind. There's really no point in me asking you how you know things, is there?"
"Yeah. I just know everything."
I rolled my eyes. "Of course you do."
Behind me, Olaf laughed.
He went over to She's closest and pushed upon the door, disappeared for a few seconds, and then came out again with a stack of plain paper with words charmingly written in different colors of crayon. (We found out what the colored wax sticks were called recently. It's crayon.)
"This is one She wrote when She was seven," Loki explained. "It's a Christmas story, too, so it kind of fits in with the mood of Christmas being a week and a half or so away."
"Ooh, Christmas stories!" Olaf said, then whispered in my ear. "I can't wait to see what She wrote."
"Yeah, me too." I whispered back. I was still a little worried that we would be caught.
"It's about a little girl named Sarah who invites her friends over for a Christmas party." Loki pulled the stapled papers onto the dresser. On the cover was a girl in a candy-cane dress holding a paper, or at least it looked that way. Again, it was drawn in crayon. By seven-year-old She.
"Aw, how sweet." I said, and genuinely meant it.
"Yep. Ready to read?" Loki seemed really excited about all of this.
"Okay." I said, getting pretty excited myself. Behind me, Olaf was practically jumping up and down.
"I've got to warn you, some of the words are probably misspelled. And the handwriting is going to be jumbled, and messy, and words running off the page. Most children write that way when they first start out making stories."
"That's fine. I got practice tonight, remember?" I was feeling confident, but a little nervous for some reason. I wanted to learn more about what my human was like, even if it was Little She.
I took the makeshift book in my hands and started flipping through the computer-paper pages to get a preview about what I was about to read. It was like waves of information were emanating from the papers into my brain. The way each word was written in barely-readable font. The sloppy crayon pictures, and the two-sentence chapters.
Humans were lucky. They start from nothing, at the rock bottom, as a baby. They can learn and grow through the years, absorbing facts and putting those facts to good use. They got the chance to change and develop. It was a pretty amazing thought. As a doll, we don't really have that chance. We're made with all the necessities that we require, and we don't really have a choice on what human we're put with or what lifestyle we have or what we are able to learn. Dolls' lives were limited based on what we had to work with. Humans could do literally anything it seemed, exploring all of the world's possibilities, becoming geniuses that are able to read and write, even at seven years old. And I knew all of that just by holding She's homemade book in my hands.
"You okay, Elsa?" Olaf asked quietly.
"Yeah, I'm actually great." I said, feeling a happy-cry coming on.
Suddenly I couldn't wait to get started.
"Okay, everybody comfortable?" I asked, looking towards my audience. Loki was sitting Indian-style again, this time with his elbows on his knees. He looked pretty attentive. Olaf was leaning forward in anticipation.
"Just read already!" said Olaf impatiently.
"Okay, okay. Here we go. This story is called Sarah's Christmas Party."
"Who is Sarah?" Olaf asked.
Loki shrugged. "A character that She made."
"Sarah's Christmas Party," I repeated. "Chapter One: The Holiday After Turkey Day. Hello! My name is Sarah. And do you know what holiday comes after Turkey Day? Turkey Day is Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is where you eat food and give thanks for the things that you have."
"Oh, so that's what Thanksgiving means!" said Olaf. "I was wondering what that was. Especially when She was giving us the ginger soda in the teacups and we had to say something that we were thankful for."
"That's right, Olaf!" I said, and then continued to read. It was surprisingly easier, but maybe that's because young humans have a simpler language. "The holiday after Turkey Day, of course, is Christmas!" I turned the page. "This year, I think I want to plan a Christmas party. I plan to serve almond bread, play pin-the-tail on the rain-deer, (I think She meant reindeer) and wear my candy cane dress. I told mom about my party plan, and she said that Christmas Eve would be perfect! I can't wait!" Another page turn. She wrote bigger than I was used to, so the chapters went by quickly.
"Chapter Two: Party Planner. Mom sug... suggested that I make a schedule of my party. First, we would make a craft. Next, we would drink hot cocoa and eat ginger-bread cookies. Then we would take turns giving each-other presents. Lastly, we would play Christmas game like pin the tail on the rain-deer, candy-cane drawing contest, Santa Tag, and Christmas tree ornament hide-and-seek. I've in... invited Pat, Rosie, June, and my little sister, whose name is Mary. I can't wait!"
I stopped reading to look up. "What do you guys think?"
Olaf yawned. "Good story."
"Keep going." said Loki, so I did.
"Chapter Three: My Christmas Party. After I hung red-and-green Christmas decorations, I checked my schedule. Rosie was the first to come. Pat was next. June was last. Everyone greeted me with Christmas carols. Then we sat down to make a Christmas craft, which was an ornament made out of dry pasta noodles. Then mom got five gingerbread cookies out of the cupboard and made a pot of hot cocoa."
I had never smelled an actual gingerbread cookie before, but by the way Little She made it to be, they had to be a Christmas tradition. I knew Benny had a faux gingerbread ornament on his tree, and that smelled pretty good. I wondered if we were ever going to smell real gingerbread.
"Chapter Four: Ruined! But, when mom handed me my hot cocoa, my hands were all slippery. I managed to set my mug on the table, but then my elbow knocked it over. Hot cocoa spilled all over my schedule sheet! Oh no! The page was blurry and wet."
"Oh no!" Olaf gasped, but I could tell he was getting tired. Maybe She's story was actually working!
"Chapter Five: Is it Over? I left the table and ran into the living room. I was holding my ruined schedule sheet. Mom followed me. I asked her, 'Is my holiday party over? Now I don't know what to do next!'
'Of course, not, Sarah. I memorized your schedule!'
"So, my holiday party would still go on. It was now time for presents. I gave Rosie a gift. Pat gave me a gift. Rosie gave June a gift. And Mary gave Pat a gift. After gift giving we all played fun games until it was time for everyone to go home. Then I remembered something: tomorrow was Christmas day!"
"Exciting." said an increasingly sleepy Olaf.
"Chapter Six: A Jolly Jangle Present Day. That night I had trouble falling asleep. I knew that Santa would visit me that night!"
"Who is Santa?" Olaf interrupted.
Loki started making gesture with his hands while he talked. "Now, I don't know this for sure. Remember our Secret Santa gift exchange?"
Olaf nodded.
"Well, it's kind of like that. On Christmas Eve night, a man named Santa Claus rides around with a group of reindeer in the sky, comes into your house through the chimney and leaves you presents in a giant sock calle a stocking. You return the favor by giving him milk and cookies. But he only gives presents to good children. The naughty ones get coal."
"That's a little weird." I said, wrinkling my nose.
"Not as weird as seven children coming out from under a lady's skirt and dancing around some girl and a nutcracker prince."
"Touche," I replied, and then kept reading. "But I did fall asleep. I think I fell asleep thirty minutes after dad read to me, "The Night Before Christmas."
"We should read that one next!" said Olaf.
"Oh, I don't know, Olaf. It's almost five o'clock. And you look pretty tired."
"I'm not tired." Olaf insisted, and then had to fiercely close his mouth in the fear of a yawn escaping.
"The next morning, I woke up with joy. The cookies were gone! Someone had eaten all of the carrots! My stocking was full of candy and toys! Dad took pictures of Mary and me while we opened up presents from Santa. Mary got a wooden bead and a fashion doll. I got a baby doll and a princess castle playset. It truly was a Merry Christmas!"
I turned the page again, but I was surprised to see that the story was over. It seemed so short, and it ended so quickly. Now what?
"Well, it's over," I said with a sigh. "I suppose we have to read The Night Before Christmas now?"
"Yes, please!" Olaf begged. "I'll go to sleep after that one, I promise."
"Well, that was a really cute story," Loki said, getting up. I think he was smiling, but it was really took dark to tell. My ice-blue hands had shut off sometime during the story. "But I think Elsa deserves a break."
"Really?"
"Yeah, we'll take turns. Besides, this is the last story anyways. I can do it."
"Well, okay, thanks." I said.
I helped Loki get the big red Christmas Collection book again, and luckily the very first story was just the right one we were looking for, The Night Before Christmas.
"This is a very iconic Christmas story," Loki explained. "I'm not surprised that She wrote it in her book when She was little. It's a very old, classic tale, often read to children before they go to bed on Christmas Eve."
"Okay, seriously. How do you know all of this?"
Loki only shrugged. "I spend a lot of time around Benny and Napoleon. Being nutcrackers, they know a lot about Christmas, and they've been around here even longer than Magneto."
Hm. Well that explains it. Some of it, at least.
Loki cleared his throat and the famous story began. "T'was, that means it was, the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse."
"Why are there mice in the house?" Olaf asked.
"Come here, Olaf," I said, patting the space to the side of me. "You can sit by me and put your head on the shoulder if you get tired."
Why not? After all, I was doing the same thing to him earlier.
"Okay!" said Olaf, and waddled over. Maybe now he would be quiet.
Loki looked up at me as if expecting me to say something. I just gave him a nod when Olaf had settled himself next to me and the story unfolded.
"The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that Saint Nicolas soon would be there. Saint Nicolas is Santa Claus by the way," Loki whispered. "The children were nestled, all snug in their beds, while visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads. Sugar plums are a type of candy."
"It's okay, Loki, you don't have to explain everything anymore." I whispered. "Olaf's too tired to ask too many questions." I pointed to the snowman, who had his eyes focused on some far-off point in the middle distance, and he was resting his head on my shoulder, with his stick-hair in my face. He might as well have just closed his eyes to sleep.
"What about you?" Loki asked. "You won't know what the words mean, either."
"Oh, I'll be fine. I'll figure it out."
"Okay then. Shall we continue?"
I nodded sleepily and closed my own pair of eyes, drifting off again slightly, but I could still hear Loki's voice narrate my dreams.
"And Ma in her kerchief and I in my cap had just settled down for a long winter's nap. When out from the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, torn open the shutter and threw up the sash. The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow gave a luster of midday to objects below. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but an miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer. With a little old driver so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be Saint Nick. More rapid than eagles his courses they came. He whistled and shouted and called them by name. 'Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer and Vixen! On Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen! To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall! Now, dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"
"Are those the reindeer names?" I mumbled.
"The what?" Loki asked, his tone was questioning my sanity.
"The reindeer names. You know, Dasher and Dancer and all that. Doesn't Saint Nicolas have reindeer?"
From beneath my half-open eyes, I saw Loki shrug. "I don't know. Benny and Napoleon never told me. Though I guess he does now."
"Mm," I replied, then closed my eyes again. "Okay."
"As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, when they met with an obstacle, mount to the sky. So up to the house-top the coursers they flew, with a sleigh full of toys, and Saint Nicolas, too. And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof, the prancing and pawing of each little hoof, As I drew in my head, and was turning around, down the chimney Saint Nicolas came with a bound, He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot, and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot. A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack. His eyes- how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow and the beard of his chin was as white as the snow. The stump of his pipe he held tight in his teeth, and the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath. He had a broad face, and a little round belly that shook when he laughed, like a bowlfull of jelly. He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, and I laughed with I saw him, in spite of myself. A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread."
"Is that was Saint Nicolas looks like?"
"What now, Elsa?"
"Nothing, I was just asking if that was what Saint Nicolas looked like. Saint Nicolas is Santa Claus, right? I think so."
Loki gave me a dark look that let me know that he was 100% done. But it didn't phase me. I could ask stupid questions and receive the evil eye without guilt, I was just too tired to care much. Then he kept reading.
"He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, and filledd all the stockings, and turned with a jerk. Then, laying a finger aside of his nose-"
"Inside of his nose?" I laughed.
"NO!" Loki almost shouted. Olaf and She flinched, but didn't wake.
"Then, laying a finger aside of his nose," Loki repeated, with more annunciation this time. "And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose. He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew, like the down of a thistle. But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, 'Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!'"
"You're a good reader," I said sleepily. I think I was getting night-high. "Like, really good. We should do this more often." I was slowly starting to sink into Olaf's shoulder, which proved difficult, since he had his head on my shoulder.
Loki laughed dryly and pushed the book away, which fell to the floor with a bump, then began to climb down the dresser to put it away. "Okay, to bed with you."
"Yeah, I'm not going to disagree, but what do you do with Olaf? We can't just leave him there."
"Just a minute."
After the christmas collection book was back in it's rightful place, Loki climbed back up and we sorted out what to do with Olaf, who was in a deep sleep and waking up him would be a risk to our mental health, because there was no way we were doing all of that all over again. Especially now that about an hour had passed, and Loki and I were both pretty exhausted. He gently nudged Olaf to the spot on the dresser where he usually slept, and then covered him with one of She's cleaning cloths that She used to clean her glasses. There was something extremely satisfying to see him sleep so peacefully, finally having good dreams, without a care for reality at all. Reality, in which we had a friend that at first couldn't even remember his own name. Reality, in which the humans were getting busier and busier by the day as Christmas got closer and closer. Reality, in which we often had to read bedtime stories until near five or six in the morning. When I was certain that Olaf was asleep, I looked over at Loki.
He looked really tired, but his smile was sweet. A
relaxed, loving smile. I don’t think I had ever since one like that before.
“He’s like a big kid, really.” He was talking about Olaf.
“Yep,” I agreed. “But maybe we’re all just children at
heart. Parading around like grown-ups, pretending to know what we’re doing,
when in reality we get scared and lonely sometimes, just like a child.”
Loki sighed and shook his head. It looked like he had
a headache. “It’s almost five in the morning, Elsa. It’s too early to get all
philosophical on me.”
“It’s the perfect time to get ‘all philosophical,’” I
replied, suppressing a yawn. “But you’re right. We should get back to bed.”
“I take it you won’t be needing a bedtime story?” he
joked, kicking around his lime green blanket to straighten it out.
“I think I’ll fall asleep as soon as I close my eyes.”
I said with a weak giggle.
“Are you going to write about this in your blog?” Loki
asked, laying on his back, facing the ceiling o’ snowflakes, each one spinning
dizzily in a strangely hypnotic way that made me want to drift off immediately.
“Oh, you bet I will. Nothing like an early morning
adventure.”
He laughed briefly, and then turned over on his side.
I stayed like
that for a while, watching the two of them. There was a distant hum of the
furnace, the relaxing dance of the snowflakes, the pitch blackness of the room,
and the fact that both of my friends and my human were okay, sleeping
peacefully without a care in the world. Never had my body been so calm, my
breaths so slow, my mind so still, my legs so… weak.
I gave in and let myself drop to the floor of the
dresser, falling slowly into a deep pool of warm water, or at least that’s what
it felt like. I didn’t even notice the way my hands folded under my face, the
way my legs curled up on each-other and the way my cape creeped over to cover
me like a blanket. I don’t remember falling asleep at all, I was so tired. But
it was really nice. And as an old Christmas song I didn’t yet know the meaning
of, Silent Night, hummed around in my head, I knew exactly what I was going to
write for my blog, the blog that had made me terribly stressed over the past
few days. I learned that if you worked hard enough and braved the trials and tribulations of the world, you're gratified with peace. And I knew. Because I had finally found peace.
Finding Peace in Christmas,
Queen Elsa
