***
Loki had been muttering to himself all morning on November 3rd. He sounded like he was mad, but judging by the way he paced around and refrained from talking to the rest of us, he was only mad at himself. The problem is, we didn't understand why, and that worried us.Finally Nessa had gained enough courage and compassion to pull him aside and ask him what was wrong. She came back to us with a report a few minutes later, but instead of being concerned, she was exited.
"There's a new Marvel movie coming out!" She shrieked.
"Then what's the problem?" Elphaba asked.
"He doesn't like it... I guess? It's apparently a Thor movie."
My heart sank a little. "Oh." That was why. Loki was a fan of the Marvel films as much as anyone from that franchise could be, but the Thor series always left him feeling uncomfortable. From his Doll's Life File interview, I learned that he was treated poorly by the other Thor dolls in the store in which She found him. They led him to believe that he would never be good for anything but evil, and because of this, Loki has always resented Thor. The movies didn't help, either, especially since this was the one rumored to be about an apocalypse that Loki's character had caused. He was probably worried that She might think differently of him after seeing the film.
"I don't know. I think he's just being a big baby. Maybe we should all go to the movies together, and then when he sees it, that will change it mind about all of this! What do you think?"
"You and Loki going to the movies?" Said Elphie. "Sure that's not a date?"
Nessa stuck out her tongue. "I'm sure. I'm just trying to make him happy again, that's all."
"Then if it's not a date, can I come?"
Nessa was not the one who answered. Magneto was intrigued by the topic of a new Thor movie and just had to stop by. "Sure, but only if I'm invited, too."
Nessa wrinkled her nose. "You? Last time we saw a movie was months ago."
"That's right," I remembered. "Magneto's Critique of X-Men: Apocalypse. That was the first and last movie review done on the blog."
"Then I must go. It is my duty to serve the people."
"Since when did you care about people?" Nessa asked. "This is about Loki. Now you and Elphie both want to come? I hate to rain on your parade, but I don't think we'll all fit in She's purse at once."
Elphaba grew a devious grin. "Well, what if She takes a backpack this time?"
"Elphaba, I was just thinking that same thing." Said Magneto, adopting the same sinister smile.
"Then let's grab Loki," Nessa decided. "We've got a few hours before She needs to leave for the movie."
"Do you really think he'll go with you guys?" I wondered.
"Oh please, Elsa, do you even know me? I can talk my way in and out of anything." Suddenly all three of them were smiling mischievously.
"Okay. Be careful." I warned. I didn't have such a good feeling about this.
She left for the movie a few hours later, and Nessa had been sure that all of them were tucked safely away in the backpack. After that, all we had to do was wait until it was over and they returned home to give their critiques of the movie. And it was the longest wait of my life. I think it happens that way when you're worried.
Hours passed. The outside world turned to night. The dogs barked to welcome She's entrance. She slunk up to her room and put her backpack down on the bed, then went off to the bathroom to get ready for bedtime.
"How was it?" I whispered eagerly, quiet enough so the humans wouldn't hear.
Elphaba was the first to roll out of the bag. She looked exhausted, and her flyaway bangs were all in knots. "I'm not going to get any sleep tonight."
"Why not?"
"I don't know why I wanted so badly to go. I forgot I can't see any late-night movies. Now I won't be able to fall asleep because the action scenes keep playing over and over in my head." She began to untangle her hair using her own stubborn fingers as a comb.
"What did the others think of it?"
"Why don't you ask them?"
"Sure. But it'll have to be quick. She will be going to bed soon."
"Puh-lease. Her showers take centuries. Come on out, guys!"
The other three tumbled out of the smallest pocket of She's backpack. Nessa was first, and she sprawled out on the bedspread without a care in the world. Her glistening aqua colored eyes were wide, but focused on nothing in particular. Then, she started rolling around a laughing unceasingly.
"Um... has Nessa finally lost it?" I asked.
"That was such... a... funny movie," she panted, trying in vain to stand, only for more bouts of laughter to keep her down. "I wasn't expecting any of it. I mean, it's about the apocalypse. So... what the heck?"
The corners of Elphie's mouth pricked upwards. "It was pretty funny."
"What's that strange movie She likes? Where there's no plot and people keep cracking jokes all the time? Makes no sense? Rosenstern and Guildencrantz?"
"Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead."
"Yeah. It was like that. But with a plot."
Magneto crawls out next, and immediately said, "Hey, what's that one Disney movie where there's an arrogant main character who keeps talking to himself? People attempting to keep their homeland from destruction? Female villain who looks like a spider?"
"Um... The Emperor's New Groove?"
"Yeah. It was like that. But with Marvel characters."
"Has Loki got something similar to say?"
The little elf-man crawls cautiously out from the backpack. He looks around, appearing dazed.
"That was... a trip." He said. This must have been one life-changing movie.
"Elsa, are we allowed to curse on the blog?"
"I'd prefer you didn't. But for today... I'll let it slide."
"Then I'd agree with Loki. That was one Hela a movie!" He chuckles to himself, something uncommon for Magneto. "Get it? 'One hell of' a movie?"
"Hela was one of the characters," Elphie said. "I'll find you some pictures if I can. The film just came out, though, so I can't guarantee anything good."
"Hela's the one who looks like a spider. Only sometimes, though. She's actually got hair... somewhere under the spider..." Nessa's voice trailed off.
"Found the spider lady." Elphie presented me with She's iPod, an image of a dark-eyed, dead-looking woman with a headdress pulled up on screen.
"I prefer her not the look like a spider," I commented, flipping through some of the limited photos Google images had. "So who is Hela?"
"Loki? I think this is your department. Care to share?" Nessa asked, trying in vain to pry Loki from his shell.
He stepped forward reluctantly. He faced me like he was on trial. I wasn't having such a good feeling about this.
"Hela is the goddess of death. She caused Ragnarok. And... she's my sister."
"You have a sister?!"
"Believe me, Elsa, I reacted the same way," Nessa crossed her arms in agreement. "She was Odin's firstborn, but then Odin had a change of heart. Whenever he decided to stop pillaging other realms and instead started to make peace with them, Hela was enraged, so he just kind of hid her away. Then he had Thor, called him firstborn, and adopted Loki from the frost giants."
"Why haven't I ever heard about Hela?"
"In case you haven't noticed, I don't like to talk about my character's family much. Besides, I was found before Ragnarok was even a thought in the directors' minds. So I didn't know her."
"I heard she's a new character. How did you feel about her?"
"She's not... ideal," Elphie began picking at her braid. "She wants to rule Asgard, then seize all the realms and put them under her control. She is Ragnarok."
"Yeah, and the giant fire skeleton with the tiara."
Loki turns away and rubs at his mouth, but it's too late to hide his amusement. "I'll admit, it was a funny movie."
"That was Surtur. He's Asgard's most powerful enemy. He technically wants the same thing as Hela, but he actually ends up getting what he wants in the end."
"Asgard is dead?"
"Yup," Loki nodded. "It blew the heck up."
Elphaba presented me a picture of a fire demon with what looked like one massive eyebrow.
"Here's the Hulk with Surtur. He's in the movie, too.""Where's Moana? I'm getting Te Ka vibes over this."
"He's not in the movie much. He's at the beginning, then shows up at the end to kill Hela... thanks to me."
"Is that good?"
Loki was trying again to hide a smile. "I'm surprised. My character was done justice in this movie. At the end of Thor 2, I knew he seized the throne to Asgard and shapeshifted into Odin, and the audience assumed the old king to be dead. But we see him enjoying his final moments on a pleasant beach in Norway, so Loki was merciful, in a way. Of course, that still makes him king, and what does he do?"
"Sit around in his bathrobe watching theater and eating grapes!" Nessa finished his sentence with a laugh. "Loved it."
"I did, too. Not to mention that giant shining gold statue with the curvy-horned helmet." Loki allowed Nessa to fall onto him, the two of them laughing.
I beamed. This really was a life-changing movie.
"I wouldn't do anything like that... but for my character, it's funny to see him be so lazy."
"Oh, this is Odin." Said Elphie. She had mostly given up on trying to explain and turned to She's iPod in search of more photos.
"Wait- didn't you say he died?"
"Yes. Unfortunately. Although I think it had to happen."
"I'm sorry, Loki."
"He's not my real dad. And he was only good to my character half the time, if that."
"I'm sorry... sorrier."
"Odin really messes stuff up by dying, though. First Hela is released, then Thor gets epic lightning powers with glowing eyes. Well... at least the one eye still glows," Magneto tugged at his collar. "Spoilers."
I pretended to ignore that last comment. I probably wasn't supposed to know that yet.
"Hela messes up the most stuff," Nessa argued. "First, she breaks Thor's hammer like it was made of glass. Then she sends them to this trash planet, where Loki gains favor with Mr. Almighty Blue Makeup, and Thor has to get a haircut from Stan Lee and thrown into a Colosseum-style dogfight tournament. That's when we meet the Hulk, 'cause they have to fight."
"I was quite impressed about that. Not the Hulk, but the fact that they chose to highlight Loki's people skills. He's shown to knows how to influence people and gain their trust, a weapon for both good and bad," Loki scrunched his brow. "But he isn't shown to be so bad in this movie. He's more of an ally to Thor here, and the two of them act more like brothers than enemies. I liked that."
"Not to mention the new clothes you got. They're blue, for some reason. And your hair's curlier, which is different, but it still looks nice, I think. Did you like that, too?" Nessa covered up her babble somewhat successfully.
Loki shrugged. "Green's more my color."
"Maybe we should start from the beginning before we get any more sidetracked," Magneto said, taking charge of his own series. "It starts with Thor, trapped in a cage, in a underground fire hellpit. Surtur releases him and gives his villain trope speech about regaining his power and bringing Ragnarok, or the fall of Asgard, while Thor hangs there by a chain and spins around."
Nessa and Loki start laughing again.
"Guess I missed out on a great comedy." I said.
Magneto kept on. "But Thor escapes by summoning Mjölnir and defeats Surtur and his army, then straps his tiara-wearing skull to his back and flies from the hellpit to the surface, where it appears to be just another layer of the hellpit. But a giant rat beast is still hot on his tail, so Thor has to call for help from Heimdall to bring him back to Asgard."
"This is Heimdall, by the way. He's the sentry to the Bifrost in Asgard. The Bifrost is like a portal to the other realms, but it can only be opened by the sword which Heimdall possesses. That's important. Remember it."
"He's got scary eyes."
"Don't worry, he's a good guy," Elphaba reassured me. "He's like an oracle. He's able to see everything, even the future."
"For having such an important power, he's barely seen in the film. Which didn't annoy me at all," Magneto said sarcastically. "His job is to give Thor vague advice sometimes, slay members of Hela's army, and hide fearful Asgardians in a mountain."
"Heimdall's a cool guy. He's basically everyone's dad," Nessa said. "For once, I'll have to agree with Magneto. He should have had a bigger part here."
"Yeah, but whenever Thor gets summoned back to Asgard, Heimdall's not in the Bifrost. Instead, he's replaced with the tattooed hoarder named Skurge."
"And he's got two guns from Tex's ass! He named them Dess and Troy. Put them together, and they destroy!" Nessa trilled.
Loki nods, finally allowing himself to smile. "Funny movie. Funny movie."
"This is Skurge's first appearance in the Thor movies that I'm aware of. Since Loki is now king and Thor was stuck in the hellpit cage, Loki put Skurge in charge to replace Heimdall. Later, Scurge gets roped into becoming Hela's executioner, then has a change of heart in the end and turns against her, sacrificing his life to save the Asgardians."
"Noble guy." I stated.
"And a dummy." Said Loki.
"Hey, you put him in charge of the Bifrost!" Nessa exclaimed.
"I've got to warn you, he's not very photogenic," Elphie snorted. "Not to mention the devil horns tattoos he's got on his head."
"Anyway!" Magneto sighed, frustrated that the conversation derailed again. "Whenever Thor comes back to Asgard, he knows something's up because Heimdall was apparently apprehended by the king and quote unquote fired. Thor knows that Odin would never do such a thing, so he launches himself right across the rainbow bridge and into a Shakespearean theater show, relaying Loki's death in the previous Thor film and exaggerating it to make him look braver and Thor much dumber."
"Hilarious show, by the way. Tom Hiddleston, the actor who plays Loki, did Shakespearean theater, so it's quite clever of both the directors and the character Loki to conduct such a thing."
"I'm surprised you're so pleased with this. I thought you were going to hate this movie." I blurted.
"It may be a Thor movie, yes, but I believe everyone was given some redemption in my mind."
"Well, that's good, isn't it? Does that mean you would want a Thor in our house?"
"I don't know if I'd go that far, Elsa." Loki rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. I don't think he would mind that anymore. Maybe we had to start dropping She a few hints in the future.
"That's when we see Odin sitting around in a bathrobe and eating grapes, which enrages Thor furthur since the other realms are apparently in chaos. War, oppression, starvation, you name it, is going on elsewhere and Odin isn't doing anything about it. Thor is onto him, so he seizes Odin by the throat and holds his hand behind his head, which will summon Mjölnir, and nothing will stop Mjölnir from getting to Thor. Odin realizes this and steps away, revealing himself as Loki the whole time. Surprisingly, the crowd is shocked by this. I don't know. I wouldn't be. Especially not with the amateur plays made to kiss up to him."
"Excellent amateur plays. Very honorable."
"Yeah, to honor your fake death," Magneto challenged. "How many times has your character fake-died by now?"
"The real question is, how many more times will I in the future?" Loki smirked. "After I, or Loki, is shown to be a fake Odin, Thor demands to know where their real father is, so Loki swears to take him to the last place he was seen. On Midgard, in a retirement home, which is being demolished."
"Ooh! Ooh! Elphie! Show her the picture of how they look on Midgard!"
"Oh, please, Nessa, it's not anything remarkable."
Elphie showed me anyway. Personally, I think they both look great.
"This is where Doctor Strange comes in. She hasn't seen it, so we haven't either, but he's only got a small scene for him to mess around with teleporting Thor around and spilling a beer. Eventually, Doctor Strange transports Thor and Loki to a field in Norway, overlooking a wide spans of ocean."
"The use of Norway as a location was a great choice. Thor did originate in Norwegian mythology, after all. But this is where Odin becomes a softie and actually admits to loving the sons he was so hard on, then he dissolves into stars and goes off into the sky, similar to how Frigga went into Valhalla, or the afterlife, in Thor: Dark World."
"Who's Frigga?"
"My mom."
"I'm... sorriest." I apologized.
"It's only a movie."
"Come on, you were a little upset." Nessa coaxed.
"At first Thor blames Loki for this, but that's just instinct for Thor, since Loki is prone to messing stuff up," Loki continued, ignoring Nessa. "But in a later scene, the brothers have a heart-to-heart, where Thor learns to trust Loki, or as much as he's able to. It's not exactly trust, it's just more acceptance that he will always have to expect the unexpected from the trickster god."
"So you own that title now? You despised it before."
"I'm sure it wasn't intended to be so harsh. I just must have interpreted it way after getting bullied at the Disney store. But now I can see its benefits."
"Well, that's very good. What happens next?"
"Hela appears almost immediately after Odin vanishes, and I will admit, it's hard to take her seriously with that spider on her head. But she does mean business, because when Thor swigs Mjölnir her way, all she has to do is get a hold on it before it falls to pieces."
"Most upsetting scene." Elphaba muttered. "You know, Mjölnir, right?"
"Then Loki, in an act of desperation, calls up to bring him and Thor back up to Asgard, and Skurge actually listens this time, but Thor knows this is a bad idea, since Hela will be brought up with them. Unfortunately, it is too late to do anything. Loki and Thor try to fight Hela in the rainbow bridge, but they get knocked out instead, leaving Hela to arrive in the Bifrost, where begin to take charge of Asgard with Skurge as her pet. Meanwhile, Thor, and presumably Loki, end up on the trash planet Sekaar, where Thor is captured and kidnapped by a druken pilot and taken through a Disneyland theme park ride to the Grand Master of Sekaar." Said Loki.
I was taken aback. "Wait, what?"
Elphie patted my arm halfheartedly. "You're not gonna understand. Just write it down."
"It's not actually certain that the drunken pilot has a name, but it is later revealed that she was a valkyrie, part of a woman's warriors that fought for Asgard, but she gave up that life and instead became a bounty hunter and trainer for the Grand Master. It pays her well, and it helps her to forget a troubled past."
"The drinks help, too, I'm sure." Magneto nodded.
"Of course, it's my character's job to give her a change of heart by bringing up these old memories and emotions. I don't mean to brag, but it's an awesome power."
"So we're assuming her name is Valkyrie." I stated.
"Yup," Elphaba noted. "Here's a pic."
"Aside from the whole drinking problem, she's pretty cool." Nessa cooed. "I liked her better as a fighter for Asgard than a drunken pilot trainer on Sekaar."
"And the Grand Master?"
"Ooh, yes, this is Mr. Almighty Blue Makeup. Show her, Elphie!"
"He looks fun. A little scary, but fun."
"If you can call a dictator prone to using his 'melt stick' on people, then sure, he's fun." Magneto added. "He's all fun and games. Especially in his favorite game, which involves Thor being forced to fight the Grand Master's high champion in a bloody arena for all to see."
"Loki bets against him, of course. In addition to being lazy, he's also a bit of gambler," Loki makes a noise like water hissing on a hot stove. "Thor is fitted to fight and possibly die in the process, which includes cutting off all the long blonde hair he so loved by a Stan Lee cameo," He smiled wickedly. "I enjoyed watching that scene. But whenever he goes in to fight, the high champion ends up to be the Hulk, Thor gets over his fear, but still ends up getting beat. Literally. Beaten into the ground. He's not dead, though, and vows that he will get off this planet and escape with the Hulk in tow to save Asgard."
Elphie tapped my arm to show me a picture of the new Thor. With the war paint and short hair (not to mention the lack of his hammer), he looks like a totally different character.
"A lot of other stuff goes down, the Hulk turns back into Bruce Banner, and Valkyrie has a change of heart thanks to Loki. She takes the three of them to Asgard, and Loki gets left behind, paralyzed due to this, like, electric dog collar implant that Thor put into his back. Luckily, Loki is found by a band of monstrous misfits that Thor befriended in the arena, and they all end up in Asgard to fight for the safety of their home."
Magneto continues Nessa's speech. "On Asgard, Hela is attempting to stop Heimdall from loading all of Asgard's citizens into a giant airship. That is, until she gets distracted by our heroes' arrival. Thor confronts her in the palace and She tells her backstory. It's basically a revenge plot against somebody who didn't do anything wrong to her. Apparently she's not the wisest goddess of death. She manages to gouge Thor's right eye-"
"Ouch!" I grimaced.
"And he looks near to being defeated, until a near-death pep talk from Odin brings him some god of thunder powers, and he proves his worth even without Mjölnir, by blasting everything with his sparkle fingers. Whoopee."
"He means lightning," Loki said, rolling his eyes Magneto's way. "Odin inspires Thor to become the stronger king than he father was, which causes his remaining eye to glow and triggers his newfound lightning powers. Back at the rainbow bridge, Valkyrie reclaims her title by slashing up some members of Hela's dead army, Skurge gains redemption by becoming a last-minute good guy and destroying the enemies with Dess and Troy, Heimdall rushes to get everyone to safetly, Loki arrives with the misfits in splendor, and Banner Hulks out to take on Hela's giant wolf beast."
"Whoopee," Nessa finished. "How on earth did we make that conclusion sound so deadpan?"
"It's not over yet," Magneto reminded her. "Loki takes a risk, and Thor's orders, to go and retrieve Surtur's skull from Odin's relics, and place it on the eternal flame, which will bring him to full power. They know that Surtur will destroy Asgard, but it is better to summon him because at least he will only take Asgard, and not the other realms like Hela would. And because Hela was set on taking Asgard herself and Sutur wasn't having none of that, he straight-up slays her with a fiery sword, which is honestly a little disappointed since she was undefeated until now."
"You said she wasn't the wisest goddess of death. But Thor still isn't, either, because even though all the Asgardians are safe and migrating from their home, he assumes Loki is long gone. Asgard did blow the heck up after Surtur took over, but I was surprised that he was surprised whenever my character shows up alive and well again."
"Whatever, that's Thor for you. And now he has an eyepatch! I think it was supposed to be a parallel to Odin, who also had one over the same eye. And now he has the Asgardian throne! Because, after all, Asgard's not a place, it's a people," Nessa smiled up at Loki. "Did I get everything?"
"Well, I sure as heck didn't. I think I fell asleep at one point," Elphie slurred. "And speaking of which, I'd much like to go back to sleep now. Though I doubt that will happen." Elphaba got up shakily, saluted the group, and went over to climb the dresser and crawl into the box-bed she and Nessa shared.
"Sweet dreams, sis," Nessa called, then leaned in and whispered, "She didn't really fall asleep. She was immersed the whole time. But then, it was hard not to be. It was so epic! And active! And funny. A little weird to have the apocalypse be funny, but humor is appreciated in any case."
"Good film, yeah," Magneto agreed. "I'll give it a seven out of ten. No cameo from the X-Men, so that was disappointing."
"Any words from you, Loki?" I questioned, fingers at the ready over the keyboard.
He started by shaking his head, I guess still taken aback that he was actually delighted by a Thor movie after all the bad memories he's had with "Thors" in them. "No, I really did like it. I didn't expect to. Thor was funny. He was emotional. He was relatable. He was arrogant, dumb, stubborn... he was Thor. Loki was clever. He was charismatic. He was someone you rooted for. He was deceptive, sneaky, untrustworthy... he was the unexpected that you expected. The new characters, although some didn't seem to have a point at first, made sense to bring into the world of the series. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing the next Avengers. Now that one is going to be big."
"Good words." I said quietly, typing away. After all these years, I didn't think Loki would ever change his mind about Thor, much less be comfortable talking about the character without a terrible grudge. The movie was, needless to repeat, life-changing.
"I can see your smile, Elsa. You don't need to rub it in."
"Sorry." I covered my mouth politely with one hand, the other continued to work on this post.
"Hey, did you see the trailers at the beginning? There's going to be a Black Panther movie in February. Wanna go?"
"Like you know anything about Black Panther." Magneto was done, and he, too, was heading towards the dresser for bed.
Nessa stuck out her tongue. "Touché, sir," then she turned to Loki. "So? You up for another one in a few months?"
One last smile. "I'll think about it. But for now, we need to make sure we don't break the Code of Dolls."
"Right. Bedtime," Nessa started away, but then looked behind her. "That was really fun. Um... goodnight." She turned on her heel, toppling over her cape but catching herself midway. "I'm okay. Goodnight. Again."
At last Loki and I are left with a moment's silence. It's been nearly three years since we were found; him, Olaf, and I, in that order. I'd known him forever, ever since he opened by box and I comforted him with a nervous-sounded version of "Let It Go". We'd come far together. Olaf got a girlfriend and a fair amount of courage. I got a blog, a boyfriend, a sister, a second sister... the list goes on and on. But for Loki, he's always been sort of stagnant. Not like he refused to change, there just wasn't much of a reason to until now. Even if the only thing that changed was his opinion of Thor.
"Did you really have a good time?" I whispered.
"Yes. I did. I actually did," he nods, looks at the ground, smiles a little. "Maybe I wouldn't mind She getting a Thor sometime in the future. Maybe not anymore."
"That's great to hear. Goodnight, Loki."
"See you in the morning, Elsa."
Loki started off to bed, and I had to pack up quickly so everything in the Room She Lives In was the same as it had been before her shower. I'd have the finish the post a little later than November 3rd. But it would be out soon. After all, it was a life-changing movie I was writing about.
Hope you didn't mind the (albeit mild) swearing,
Queen Elsa
