Caliofrotnia Adventure P.1: Not Worthy

This post here was written entirely by Loki, but I am here to introduce it because he's not too fond of those and this post has been a work on progress for a while, so I just took this over for him. This post is the first of three in a... mini-series, if you will. During the summer, She's family went on a very special vacation on only a few selected dolls could go. I bet you can already guess from the author that Loki was one of them, but how he got to go in the first place is an interesting story that had to be told. I finally got him to finish working on it so it could be published in October. Better late than never, right?

***

July 6th, 2018.

Summer was well on its way and Independence Day had come and gone. Ever since She found out about the Code of Dolls last month, She was allowing us more and more freedoms during the day. As long as we were out of sight of the other humans, her mother and father especially, there were virtually no limits to what we could do. Idina fashioned swimsuit tops for Anna, Elsa, and Anelle, hoping one day for a doll-sized pool party. Benny and Napoleon set off a miniature fireworks party, with handheld sparklers and matches instead of the usual overhead pyrotechnics displays. The Funkos were still on the search for real estate, somewhere away from the rest of us where they could communicate on their own, but otherwise, they were incorporating well with She's other dolls. And speaking of other dolls, She's newest and most unexpected addition to the doll family, a fellow named Arthur Dent, was still getting used to the place. It seemed for a while that was how things were going to be and how they were always going to be. Not that I minded it whatsoever. I'm the sort of person who relishes in routine. But eventually, things must come to an end, and they did, whenever we noticed She folding and stuffing clothes into a paisley-printed duffel bag shortly after the fourth of July.

She did her best to distract us, never once explaining as to why such a thing was being done, but we knew that we had to find out. Olaf took the liberty of searching She's luggage tags, which wasn't ideal since he cannot read.

"What me to help, Olaf?" Elsa suggested. We were all waiting eagerly upon our new home, the white shelf She had sanded and painted herself. It was an admirable job for someone with absolutely zero experience in that realm.

"No, no, wait. I got this. Let's see... hm. That could be a plane ticket. So She has to be going somewhere far... you don't think She's riding a plane to college, do you?"

My hopes dropped. Last month She had said She'd be living home to go to school, but a lot could change from one month to the next. Was such a thing possible?

Olaf laughed. "No, She can't be doing that every day! It says here on the ticket... Cal-oh. I don't know."

"Just take a guess, Olaf." Said Elsa.

"Okay. Okay. Um..." Olaf squinted at the paper, then pressed his hands to both sides of his puffy face and gasped. “She’s family is going to Caliofrotnia!”

I snorted in my throat rather unexpectedly to both myself and the others. “Actually, it’s pronounced-“ I began, before suppressed laughter made me unable to finish.
“What?” Elsa asked.
“Nothing. Nothing at all. Caliofrotnia is fine.”
“Why Caliofrotnia?” Said Moana. “It sounds funny to me. “What do they have there?”
“What do they have there?!” Magneto repeated, incredulously. “What haven’t they got there is the real question. Mountains, ocean, forests, cities, boardwalks, food, parks, museums... it’s exhausting.”
“Magneto? You’ve been there before?” Elsa said.
“Yes, once. A very long time ago with my second owner. He used me to mark his luggage. And that was the last time.” He replied, more quietly than before.
“Wait a minute, did you say ocean?” Moana’s eyes lit up. “I’ve never seen the real sea. I’ve got to go there!”
“Hold on,” Elphaba whispered logically. “She’s probably fully packed at this point. There’s got to be no chance that any of us get to go.”
“Oh, Elphie, you’re such a party pooper! Keep your hopes high. You never know what might happen. We could always ask She if we could come along and maybe She can make some adjustments.” Nessa had latched in immediately to the idea of getting more involved in our human’s life after She discovered our secret, but Elphie still was skeptical.

Just at the right moment She slunk through her doorway and closed the door behind her. "Woah, hey, y'all are talkative. What's up?"

"You're going to Caliofrotnia!"

"Wha... oh. You mean California?"

"Yeah," Olaf replied bashfully. "That's the one."

"Don't be embarrassed. I think Caliofrotnia sounds a lot better," She grinned and patted Olaf on the head. "And I'll be in Caliofrotnia for a whole week."
"That's an awfully long time," Nessa remarked. "You won't be wanting to take any of us along, would you?"

She let a gust of air escape her mouth. "I don't know, Nessa. If I lost any one of you I would be heartbroken. You know that."

"We won't get lost. Promise."

"Well, even if you didn't, I can't take all of you with me! My travel bag is already set out to be full, and my carry-on's not exactly an ideal place to be."

"We really want to go!" Moana begged, her hands clasped together as if in prayer. "We'll be good wherever you put us."

Suddenly I caught a spark of something in She's eye. She looked up at the fourth quadrant of the shelf, to where I stood with the PSA. Her eyes wandered over to Thor, and the spark changed from just an idea to something mischievous.

"You know what? I'll see what I can do. There might be a way I can take just a few of you. I'll create contest, and whoever wins gets to go. I'll be right back."

She left the room, and we all began speculating on what sort of contest it would be.

"You don't think it will be some sort of sports contest, will it? Because I really don't like sports." Olaf worried. Moana and Steve locked eyes, knowing full well that if it were to be a sports contest, they would win in a heartbeat.

"I don't think so. It would have to be a fair contest." Elsa explained. 

"But we really don't know what She has in mind." Anna added. 

"Let's hope eet iz something simple, like pick a number from a hat." Idina said.

"Let's hope the contest is optional!" Arthur puffed.

"What? You don't even want to try to go?" Olaf asked. The notion was unheard of.

"Oh, no. I'm quite the homebody. I'll avoid any sort of travel unless the world is about to end. And even then..." Arthur rolled his eyes and looked overwhelmed. "Even then it will take a lot of convincing. At least four bitters."

Olaf, having no clue as to what a "bitter" was, kept talking. "What if I don't win? Everybody will be having fun without me. But what if I do win? And you don't?" He was talking about his fiancee.

"If you win and I do not, go without me," Idina said. "I do not mind being alone for a week."

Thor, who was perpetually standing beside me with dental wax beneath his bad foot for balance, courtesy of She, stuck out his legs to sit down with a clunk. "How long have they been together, do you reckon?" He asked.

"Olaf and Idina?" I gave up and sat down, too. This could be a while. "They met on Christmas Day of 2014. They have likely been dating since the beginning of the following year."

"That's nice. They make a good couple," Thor began. "You know, Loki, I've noticed that smaller one with the red pigtails has been noticing you as of late."

"Oh, that's Nessarose. She's always been that way." Besides, she had eyes for Vision now, and I had mine for She.

"If your friend Nessarose has been that way for so long, why haven't you conversed with her? Planned an outing or something of the sort?"

I laughed bitterly and quietly. "Because I do not feel the same way for her as you think she does for me. Nessarose likes Vision now."

"Does she?" Asked Thor. "'Tis a fitting bond. I can see it now... yes. Except for Vision is an android, and none of us are quite sure if he is capable of love."

"If he's a doll, he's got a magnet. Only 1% of them don't, I've heard."

"And how does your magnet, brother?"

"What are you, a love expert?"

"Sometimes I like to think of myself as well versed in romance, yes," Thor tried looking me straight in the eye, and the power radiating from his stare was like lightning. He still expected an answer from me. "Well?"

"My magnet's broken," I whispered. "I've not developed feelings for any doll."

"'Well, 'tis possible you may never meet your magnet-mate, brother. Many do not."

I drew my lips to the inside of my mouth. That was all true, but I was unsure whether or not to tell Thor I believed the whole magnet-mates thing to be phony. I even had to force myself to say that every doll had a magnet within them. No human manufacturer would go to such lengths to place a magnet inside every doll they made and place a polar opposite of that same magnet within another doll, not necessarily a doll of that same variety. No human manufacturer would go to such lengths unless they were sure these dolls were alive and desired companionship. And maybe that wasn't so far of a stretch now after She had reacted so well to having to Code of Dolls broken for her. Each day I was starting to doubt my previously held beliefs about love and dolls more and more. But if I loved a human, did that meant my magnet was broken, or had I not been given a magnet at all?

"I think you already know this. Do not make me say it again."

"Say what?"

"Don't be stupid, Thor. You know where my love lies."

"Is it with Wanda? I seem to think she fancies you."

"Wanda? What? No. We're close, but just friends." I glance over at Wanda, who was practicing her magic with Hawkeye. She was like me, and her powers would only be triggered when experiencing strong emotions, and right now it was joy. Ghostly auras the color of cotton candy encased her arms in magic, and her eyes lit up with sheer pleasure as she stole Hawkeye's quiver from his back and twisted it around this way and that. She had these special sort of eyes, a true and vivid green. While the Anna dolls were dark or somewhat turquoise, hers were bright and often mesmerizing. In certain lights, She's eyes would often look this way, too, but grayer. Only Wanda's eyes were so unique.

"Loki?" Thor called me back to reality, and his eyebrows were raised in skepticism.

"Just friends," I repeated. "Come on, Thor. Don't make me say it. She could be back any minute."

"She? Is it She?"

"Shh! Okay, yes, it is. Now you know."

Thor could incredibly happy, but I wasn't sure if he was happy with himself or for me. "This is excellent! I figured that was so all along. One must not be so frequent with the compliments, eh, brother?"

"What have I said about you calling me brother?" I groaned, trying to shake my hair into my face, hoping in vain that it might cover the blush on my cheeks.

"Yes, but when have I ever listened to you?" Thor patted my shoulder, which felt like a weight. "Here's what I think. You win a spot in this contest, and you get sent to the realm of Caliofrotnia with She. It is the perfect opportunity to get to know her better! And perhaps even win her heart."

"Human hearts cannot be won the same as contests," I reminded Thor sadly. "They are fickle, yet not so easily changed. Besides, how could a doll and a human ever be together?"

Thor was caught in my defense. "Well, urm... I'm not too certain on that one. But it is worth a shot, is it not? Tell you what. I swear to you that I will not participate in this contest, whatever it is. I wouldn't want someone as dashing as myself to come in the way between you and your lady of interest."

"Gee, thanks." I said, although I was not grateful.

"Shush, brother! She returns."

"I'm baaacccckkk," She said right on cue in a creepy voice. "I brought something to be a part of the contest. And just so you know... I can take four of you with me... no more, no less. That's the rule."

"Then who will you decide to take?" Olaf asked.

She looked mischievous. I shouldn't be worried, but I barely knew our human until recently. She could be an enormous trickster- one that delights in deceptions and diversions. "I have here a certain object in my pocket. I'm going to put it on the dresser. Whoever is able to lift it may go."

"That's it?"

"Yep," She affirmed, but something in her voice told us not to assume until we'd seen said object. Continuing on with that sly smirk, She slunk over to the dresser, where all of us could see, plain as day, the object revealed when She opened her fist and set it down.

It was heavy-sounding, prism-shaped, and had a long handle of the same pewter material, with a brown leather strap wrapped around the end in a loop.

"Mjolnir." Thor whispered in dread.

"Whoever is able to lift it may go." She repeated.

Nobody else could recognize it, or maybe if they could, they didn't realize what this meant. I was stunned. "But that's Mjolnir! Thor's hammer!"

My heart sunk, likely along with everyone else except Thor. Thor's hammer was meant to be impossible to pick up unless you were Thor himself... or at the very least, worthy to wield such mythic power. We were all doomed, and She knew it.

"I know what it is," She started to walk away slowly, out of her room and into the hallway, but still looking behind her shoulder, smug at our shock. "I'll leave you to it, I know you'll play fair. Just tell me who was able to lift it. You have a half an hour."

The door was closed, and we were left to deal with the impossible challenge before us.

Anna, willing to establish some sort of order before chaos broke out, suggested we go in a line, starting with the one standing closest to the hammer.

Which was me.

I started backing away from Mjolnir like it it had a disease. "No, no, I shouldn't. I already know I'm not going to be worthy. I'm a villain."

"Your character is a villain," Anna reminded me. "You are not."

"Thanks, but..." I still wasn't liking this. "I'll go later. Let the others have a chance first."

Elsa gave me a pitying look. She knew I loved She. Elsa knew it would mean the world to be to go on a vacation with She. She probably hoped I would at least give myself a chance to be one of the chosen four.

Anelle was the second closest to the hammer. She wrapped her hands around the handle, twisted her wrists through the leather loop, and threw her back out in vain attempt to lift Mjolnir off the dresser, but to no avail. She sighed and pushed her hair away in frustration.

"Guess my arms are as weak as my legs." She smiled meekly.

Kristoff patted her shoulder. "Let me handle this. I'm an ice harvester, aren't I? We're supposed to be strong. I'll win ya a place, Anelle."

"No, no, you should be doing this for yourself."

"Relax, mkay? I'll do what I want. And if I want you to go on that trip, then... that's what I want."

But Kristoff wasn't successful either, no matter how many irritated grunts he made. He was being so obnoxious that Sven even started to imitate him with similar reindeer noises.

"Mkay, buddy. I'll stop," Kristoff was out of breath and finally accepting defeat. "Sorry, Anelle."

Sven grunted again and tossed his antlers.

"What? I'm done, okay? Stop mocking me. Geez."

"I think he wants a go at the hammer!" Elsa giggled.

Sven tried pushing it with his antlers, tried gripping it with his mouth, but he got nothing out of it, nothing but most likely a gross metallic taste. Benny and Napoleon, being soldiers, were confident in their abilities, but Mjolnir didn't budge an inch. Dorothy and Bell's attempts were both well-fought but weak, and Magneto could barely raise his arms high enough to reach Mjolnir. It looked like this impossible challenge might really be impossible.

"Olav, you next," Idina ordered, pushing her husband-to-be forward. "I vant to see somebody win. Othervise eet iz boring."

Olaf wasn't so sure he could lift it, but there was always some hope to be found in the optimistic snowman. He laughed nervously and stepped forward. "Okay, okay! I normally don't like competitions but this one is fun, right?" He looked around at the rest of us, and most of our facial expressions were less than agreeable. Olaf shrugged and bent down to grab the hammer.

And it came up easily in his hands.

Idina was ecstatic. She clapped her hands with glee. "Way to go, Olav! Now you get to go to Caliofrotnia!" But then her attitude changed. "... without me..."

"But you didn't try the hammer, Idina! Come on, I believe in you!"

"Dat's nice of you to say. But I am a lady. I do not do heavy lifting."

"But... our wedding..." Olaf tried desperately.

"Will commence right after you come back. Don't vorry about it." Idina said, although she looked uncertain herself. Her wedding to Olaf was all she was able to talk about most days, and a summer ceremony meant a lot to her. Once She got back from California, it would only be a matter of time before She went off to college, and fall would arrive soon after.

"Okay," Olaf hugged his fiancee. "I can't believe I'm going to Caliofrotnia!"

Anna smiled, albeit impatiently. She was watching the ticking clock for sure. Only one doll had managed to wedge their way into a four-person group, and we had wasted more minutes than she would have liked. "Moana, why not you next?"

Moana jumped up immediately. She'd been impatiently rocking back and forth on her heels since the contest was even mentioned. "I'm ready! I've got to see that ocean!"

Moana attempted all the best tactics. She was clearly physically strong, and mentally powerful enough, but apparently just not worthy enough. She tried over and over, spanning a good two or three minutes of time, although it felt longer. Eventually, Moana had to give up when her hands slipped on the final pull and she fell backwards. I had never seen her look more devastated. It made me wonder if this contest was fair at all, when She could have chosen the one we all knew wanted to see California the most.

Anna tsked. "Sorry, Moana. How about the Marvel bunch goes next?"

"Like Steve?" Elsa suggested, staring up at her own fiance.

The soldier politely declined with a shake of the head. "No, not me. I'd rather stay here with Elsa."

"What? Why?"

"I've no need for travel. I've already found my whenever. With you."

Clearly Elsa and Steve also had their own wedding in mind. The California trip could throw everything off the rails of our plans.

"Aww," said Anna. "Anyone else, then?"

"I shall also decline," Thor spoke up, winking my way. "I already know my worth."

"Excuse me, but what the hell? This is a once in a lifetime chance, and nobody's going to take it? Rhodey, come here." Tony said, flying down from the shelf and beckoning for War Machine to follow in suit.

"Are we gonna do that thing we did in Age of Ultron?" Rhodey asked.

"You bet we are, buddy. California, here we come."

With the two of them together, lifting Mjolnir should not have been a problem. But going solo or as a team, neither Tony nor Rhodey were worthy enough.

Chris failed.

Hawkeye failed.

Wanda, even with the aid of magic, still failed.

"It's not much use, is it?" Vision observed. "Well, regardless, I'll give it a go."

Nessa's eyes grew wide when Vision floated down from the shelf and picked up Mjolnir with one hand. He didn't boast about it verbally or physically. Instead, he regarded the instance thoughtfully.

"I suppose that makes sense. Vision was also worthy in the films. Wonderful craftsmanship for a keychain."

"Nessarose is next!" Elphaba cried, raising her hand excitedly, with the other pointing to her sister.

Nessa tried to catch Vision's eye, then mine, and succeeded. I bowed my hand away out of respect for her emotions. For once, she wasn't eager to try something new. Elphie didn't care. She pulled Nessa off her feet and walked behind her, slowly towards the spot where the hammer laid.

"Elphie, what are you doing?" Nessa squeaked. Her attempts to escape were in vain.

"Helping you out!" Elphie's ice-blue eyes concentrated on Nessa's cyan ones. It didn't take a genius to figure out what the unspoken words were. This is your chance to get to know Vision better. And in California, no less! That's got to be romantic. So you're going to try to lift that hammer or I'll never let you live this down.

"Just try it," Elphie urged, pushing Nessa into Mjolnir. "No regrets."

"Sure," Nessa rolled her eyes and wound her little arms around the handle. It was almost laughable in a way to assume that anyone as small as Nessa could do this. "Elphie, you're crazy. I'm not gonna get it. I'm never gonna get it. See? See?"

"Um, Nessa, do you see?" Her sister asked, her mouth covered in shock.

Nessa turned her head to the hammer, only to see it off the ground, held aloft by her tiny hands.

"Oh my gosh!" Nessa dropped Mjolnir with a clunk. "I'm worthy? I'm worthy! How? Why? Oh my gosh, nevermind! I'm going to California!" 

"Congratulations." Elphaba grinned.

"Now you try!" Nessa squealed.

"Me? No," Elphaba shook her head and winked at Nessa. "Not me."

"Okay. The Funkos? How about you guys?" Anna asked. Blake, Heimdall, and Iron Man signed in their language amongst themselves before Blake shook his head. They weren't ones to leave the house if they could help it.

"Arthur?"

The newest doll laughed ironically.

"That's a no, then... anyone else?"

"Loki's the only one left." Said Elsa.

My nerves spiked. 

"What about Westley?" Rhodey cut in.

"Yeah. Westley." Moana remembered. She was comforting herself by cuddling Pua and HeiHei.

"He's outside," said Elsa. "Besides, he wouldn't want to go. Loki's last."

Anna pursed her lips, but said nothing related to Westley. 

"Come, on, brother!" Thor practically shoved me forward with a tap of his hand on my back. I lurched into a standing position and found myself confronting the hammer. "It has to be you! She wanted four, and we've only got three thus far!"

That's true, I thought. But that doesn't mean that will help me.

Suddenly there was a rap on the door, and it opened. "Time's up. Who are my champions?" She asked, looking eagerly around at both the shelf and the dresser, then her eyes fell on me, and she leaned against the doorframe, her arms folded. No interruptions.

I avoided her gaze and coiled my fingers around the end of the handle. The metal was cool to the touch, and the leather strap soft against my wrist was soft and textured. It felt almost... natural. I doubt I will ever know the reason why.

Then I pulled back my arm.

And the hammer lifted.

I couldn't look, but the gasps from the other dolls let me know what I had done.

Was Mjolnir really in my hands?

Was I worthy?

I was completely dazzled, obviously.

I risked an upwards glance and saw She, the corners of her eyes crinkled in a proud grin. The realization struck me that this was reality, and now I would be heading off on a week-long California trip with She. 

All other reactions tuned in like increasing the volume on a television, getting louder and peppier with each new comment from someone else.

Wanda and Thor were the first to greet me. Thor with a hug, of course, and Wanda with a fist bump.

"Nice job, dude. I knew you had it in you. Just don't have too much fun in California, okay?"

"I won't." I told her, still reeling.

"Oh, but you must!" Thor cried. "'Tis a once-in-a-lifetime chance for humans and dolls alike! Right, She?"

She entered her room and collected Mjolnir, and I knew that we would likely never see it again. "That depends, Thor. But the four of you are very lucky, considering I wasn't going to take anybody anyways. Speaking of, who won?"

Olaf roped Nessa, Vision and I together unwillingly. "Me, Nessa, Vision, and Loki!"

"Perfect," She gushed, leaning down until her face was aligned with the surface of the dresser where the four of us stood. "Let me walk you through how everything's going to go."

The other dolls who had failed or declined the opportunity to the vacation left us to it as She gave us the complete run-down of the vacation by her bag on the bedroom floor. She explained each day's plan, the various modes of transportation, and the importance of safety. Especially not letting anyone get lost along the way. 

"...And an airplane ride will bookend the trip. Now I want you to know th-"“What’s an airplane?” Olaf interrupted.
“It’s like a big metal bird in the sky,” She stretched out her arms and began dipping and rising in the same motion as an airplane’s wings. “And a hundred people can ride on one every day.”
“Is it safe?”
“It’s extremely safe,” She nodded. “Statistically one of the best ways to travel. No worry of pedestrians walking about in front of you, and no cars beside you or behind you. No birds, either, no. Not way up there. The sky’s completely clear. And the views are spectacular on clear days. Come on, Olaf. You’ve been on one before. In 2014.”
“Right! I almost forgot,” Olaf laughed. “How else did I get here from Disneyworld?”
Contrary to Olaf, I hadn’t forgotten a detail. On that day, Olaf and Elsa, still tagged and boxed up respectively, had gone in She’s duffel for the trip. Only I had the experience of riding along with her in She’s carry on bag. Every now and then, on the way back home from the flight, She would reach in and give me a little squeeze to make sure I was still in there. It was more than what was necessary, but it is because of that experience that I really latched on to She. She was the first one who cared.

"Loki, Nessa, and Vision- you'll be riding on my purse so I can have you on hand at all times. Olaf, unfortunately you’ll have to go in the duffel bag,” She unzipped her bag and peeled back a beach towel to reveal a cozy, empty spot just right for Olaf. 

The two of them bantered back and forth about Olaf's fear of the dark before he eventually surrendered and settled in. This didn't concern me, and while I would typically stay anywhere She was, but the fact that I was going to spend an entire week in her purse, as physically close to her as possible, I was starting to feel overwhelmed. I sneaked away from the group, only catching Nessa's attention, but she was too busy trying to find a chance to speak to Vision to follow me. 

I liked it better that way.

Meanwhile everybody was getting back to their regular routines of the day, either dwelling on the results of the contest or attempting to move on and forget it entirely. Only Wanda seemed lost on what to do, so I went to her for advice.

"What's up, oh-worthy-one?" She joked.

I wasn't in the mood. "Do I deserve this, Wanda?"

She raised an eyebrow at me. "You're not thinking of going back on this now, are you?"

"No," I sighed. "I want to go. Really I do. But..."

"But?"

"But this is a new thing for me. I've never been so close to- I've never been out of house, nevermind so far away from it- for so long. And there are plenty of other dolls I know should have gone in my place. I-"

"So you know you're worthy, you just don't feel worthy of being worthy," Wanda flipped her hair across her shoulder and patted a spot on the edge of the dresser where she sat, signaling me to get next to her. "Interesting."

I nodded and settled in next to her. We both watched She and the champions of the contest from afar in the silence.

Then, out of the blue, Wanda says my name. “Loki?”

“Yes?”

“I’ve been meaning to ask you his since I met you, but I guess I didn’t have the guts to last week...”

“Okay?” I don’t know why I suddenly felt nervous.

“...But when we first met you, why did you introduce yourself as Prince Loki of Jotunheim? Aren’t you from Asgard?”

I was tongue-tied. My character never saw either place as a true home, at least not until the more recent films.

“...It’s written on my card.”

“Your card?” Wanda scoffed. “There's your problem! Don’t believe anything your card says. Unless it’s about your powers, I can guarantee that at least half of it is outdated or not applicable.”

“And you know this how?”

Wanda stood, held out her arms, and spun around in a ta-da moment. “Look at me. Do you think I follow the ‘rules’ of my card? The only thing it’s useful for is learning your abilities. Aside from that, character traits, status, and origin are all futile. In fact, once the humans put away our cards and eventually forget them, give it maybe two or three days, I’m going to get mine and toss it out with next Monday’s garbage.” She coolly plucked a piece of lint from her jacket and flicked it away, most likely envisioning it as her card. She was most definitely nothing like the neurotic, introverted Wanda I had learned about from the movies.

“Don’t you think that’s a little risky?”

Wanda shrugged one shoulder and smiled with only one side of her face. “So what? I like a little risk. Besides, my card says I’m in love with Vision. Can you believe that? I could never imagine the two of us other. He’s just too...” Wanda shifted her hands back and forth during the pauses to express words that wouldn’t come. “And I’m too... well, you get it. I just can’t have that romance thing around any more, not with that information on the back. It’s too awkward. For the both of us.”

“I see.” I replied. 

"So don't worry about it, dude. If you're worthy, you're worthy! You are not your card."

I guess I could try to see it that way. But my mind is not so easily changed. It would take some time. And the way Wanda saw it, this California trip was exactly what I needed.

"Thanks, Wanda."

"No problem, dude," Wanda socked me on the shoulder in a friendly way, and less painful than Thor would have. She offered me her hands and I let her pull me up. "Anytime you need me, you tell me, okay? Now let's go celebrate with the PSA. Thor won't stop talking about your victories."

I rolled my eyes. Of course he was. "Alright."

And we walked together in the search of the other Avengers, leaving She and the California trip behind.

At least for a little while.

-Loki

Elsa and Anna's Mini Reviews: Party Favor Watercolor Paint Set

Whew, we're back! It's been a full month now and I think that ought to be enough time to take a break from blogging. To ease us back into the routine, Anna and I have returned to bring you another product in our Mini Reviews series.

***

"Okay, who's been using my tiny tape?" She accused as She rummaged around in her Yoobi mini supply kit, something you may remember from our first Mini Reviews post.

Bell stood there guiltily on the shelf, trying in vain to hide the roll of tape behind her back, but her wings couldn't stretch out far enough without looking obvious. "Uh... it might have been me."

She scowled at Bell, but didn't seem very surprised that the amateur inventor had taken the tape. "You guys. Ever since you've broken the Code you're not putting my any of my stuff back."

"Sorry." Bell muttered.

"At least I've got more." She reached into the drawer under the desk in her room (which was put there once college started) and pulled out another miniature tape roll, this time clear instead of blue. That didn't go with the rest of the Yoobi kit.

Anna and I had been chilling right beside her, sitting on the desk and playing cards with the ornament sisters, but it was hard for Anna to resist getting involved whenever she saw a second, different, tiny tape.

"Hey, do you have any more where that came from?" Anna asked.

"Oh no, not you, too." She warned.

"No, I mean like... miniature school supplies. We'll put it back if you do. Promise."

She sighed and searched the drawer again. "Well if you promise, I've got this here. Never used it, actually. It was too small. But it looks like it's the perfect size for dolls."

She tossed something our way, and Anna caught it. It was a case that held a set of paints, six colors, and a brush a human could only hold if they pinched it between two fingers.

"It's watercolor. So stains will wash out if it comes to that. But!" She wagged a finger. "You've got to clean up after yourselves. Okay?"
"Not a problem. I'm sure Elsa and I can find something to do with this. And we will clean up everything."
And the rest of that is history.

We started off by setting up a canvas, one we borrowed from Nessa, back when she had more free time for art. We used slices of notecards as a canvas, as that would be more durable than regular paper, and then got a shotglass for paint water.

First of all, the watercolor paint set is quite cute, although not very sturdy. The paints were tiny dry tablets of color, and they came in a thin plastic tray that also had the brush. The plastic can tear very easily and in fact some of the corners were chipping already. But it's not the quality of the container that counts, right?

The tray is then set into a clear box that is of a different plastic than the tray. This kind acts more like glass. The box does not have a fastener to lock it closed, but rather a snap-in and snap-out feature that falls apart very easily if you drop it. (Which we did. Anna can be a little clumsy.)

Next, the brushes. On the far left is the brush that came with the paint set. Next to that, a human-sized brush that was similar enough to the mini one. Then a true watercolor brush, and on the far right, an acrylic brush. I liked how our mini brush had tougher, smoother bristles than the red-orange human brush. In fact, I would argue that ours is better, as the human brush had fraying bristles that didn't like holding the watery paint.

Finally, a color test. For most of the hues, the gradients were rather nice, and you want that with watercolors. However, yellow, pink, and brown were the problems. Yellow is always hard to see on a white background, so I can't exactly blame the paint set for that. But the pink was translucent and not really... pink, per se? At least not what I think of when someone says "pink". The paints we had looked a lot more like a queen pink. This is what Wikipedia says "queen pink" looks like:

*

Kind of a washed-out, lavender-gray pink. But this is how I imagine pink to be:

*

Also from Wikipedia. Maybe I'm being nitpicky, and I probably am, but I was disappointed with our paint palette's pink.

Brown looks a little blotchy, but that also could be the lighting in this picture. Otherwise, all the colors are gorgeous and vibrant. Very good watercolor paints for something created as a party favor.

Yes, this is a party favor! She said that it wasn't more than a dollar bought alone. You can also buy them in bulk on the Party City website using this link here:

https://www.partycity.com/paint-sets-24ct-420502.html?extcmp=pla%7CGoogle&gclid=Cj0KCQjw_vfcBRDJARIsAJafEnHaxyHVuwWFEBYdJvIalG6BM4ClY6E2t-lryyia8LYv721qx8WxwX8aAsL-EALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

Now we get to the fun part. Nessa wanted to try the paints and create a landscape... and well... that didn't turn out as well as it did in her head. The lighting made everything in Nessa's painting look really faded, but if you try you can make out grass, a sky, pink clouds, and a sun.

We found out that the paints, due to size or the nature of watercolor in general, are better suited to small, cute symbols, like snowflakes and flowers.

Did I mention that the brush is the perfect size for dolls?

Well, that's it for now. I got to say it's good to be back on the blog. Maybe in doing so I can influence Loki to do the same and type up what happened to him over the summer. Maybe.

Happy painting,

Queen Elsa

* Shades of Pink. Wikipedia. Wikipedia Foundation. Last edited 30 September, 2018. Accessed 7 October, 2018. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shades_of_pink

Our Human

Welcome back to the blog! If you haven't read the post titled "Out With the Old", go read it right now! This post is more of a sequel to that one, and the events that happen within "Out With the Old" are all too important to ignore. You'll be picking up almost immediately where that one left off with this new post, "Our Human". Hope you enjoy reading both.

***

Around two during the day of She's graduation party, after all of the guests left, cards and gifts were sorted, and thank you notes were begun, She finally returned back to the room She Lived In, or rather, the Room We Lived In. Since the Code of Dolls had been broken only yesterday, every doll She owned had been put into one place on a brand new white wooden shelf. When our human came back we all resumed the act we were used to. Even if it was in vain now, it was instinct.

The day had taken its toll on She: her eyes were glazed over, her dress was tousled by the wind and multiple hugs, and the hair on the top of her head was pressed flat from wearing the sunhat all day. 

She belly flopped onto her bed and began speaking while her face was muffled in the comforter. "God, I'm exhausted."

"But you had fun, right?"

"Yeah, I did," She raised her head and pushed away a lock of hair that was stuck in her mouth. "Olaf?"

"Yep! That's me!" Olaf waved both of his arms like he was trying to catch a friend's attention from across a street in busy traffic.

She smiled sleepily. "You sound exactly like him. And you're not a shy one, either."

"No, he's never been shy." Said a lady-like voice with a intermittent French accent.

"Who said that?"

"Eet iz me, the itty bitty Elsa plush doll beside Olav? You named me Idina."

"Ah, that's right, Idina." She blinked and rolled over into a sitting position.

"Olav and I... we're engaged!" Idina blurted. She couldn't help herself.

"Really?" She asked, probably thinking, I'm too tired for this right now. "Dolls can do that?"

"Yeah, dolls can do a lot of things that humans can. But sometimes we have to find ways to do things ourselves. Look, we have matching bracelets instead of engagement rings!" Olaf proudly flashed his white-and-blue mark of his marriage to be.

"That explains it," She said. "They're nice. And you made them yourselves?"

"No, Elsa and Nessarose made zem." Said Idina.

Well, one thing lead to another and She called me out for making the bracelets, then remembered I had one of my own, too, one different from Olaf and Idina's. I pointed out Steve for making ours, and then She learned that she had two engaged couples in her group of dolls. And then she met the ornament sisters, who Nessa was pleased to introduce her to the Pocket-Sized Avengers, who brought up the Funky Warriors... the introductions seemed endless.
She took to all this new and very much life-changing information quite well. I was certain that some part of her suspected this all along, with the mysterious movements and disappearances and reappearances and costume changes. Her easygoing, yet pleasant demeanor got all of us talking, even the shyer or shiftier ones like Anelle and Magneto. But of course She had a lot of questions.
"So tell me about the Code of Dolls. What does it do for you guys? Why do you have it?"
We didn't really know. All of our lives it was a sort of thing built into us that we had to remain quiet and still around humans. We grew to learn that this behavior never helped nor hurt anybody, so we continued to do it, and dolls began to pass the word around that humans must be protected from our world. At least, that's what we all thought. But Loki had to come around and give us a reason for everything. Apparently, one of the first dolls ever created didn't know the Code and talked and moved as it pleased, living life as a human with the rest of them. Its creator, thinking the doll was infused with some sort of ghost or demon, threw the doll onto a pyre to burn, and then threw salt in with it to keep the bad spirits from coming back. Not exactly your most pleasant bedtime story, but it was intriguing to She.
"That's it? That's why none of you ever talked to me for four years?"
"It's a legitimate concern." Loki said, defending his theory.
"I'm not doubting you! It sounds awful. And a waste. I'd probably just sell you on Ebay with the tagline 'possessed doll'. People love that sort of stuff; you'd be surprised."
I wasn't sure if that made me feel any better, so I chose to forget her response.

Luckily we had easier questions to answer after that. I don't think She wanted to ask about how and why Cogsworth died, either because she knew it was a sensitive subject, or Loki had already told her everything. With as big of a crush he has on her, I wouldn't put an outpouring of emotion above him.
"By the way, when are the weddings?"
"Well, Olav and I were thinking of sometime in ze late summer." Idina replied, giving her finance's hand a squeeze.
(At the time this happened it was early June, so that was back when we thought we had all the time in the world for "Ilaf" to get married, but the date I'm writing this is July 25th and we're still unsure of a good time.)
"And Elsa and I want to wait until winter. Probably February."
She nodded. "I like that. It's fitting. And, if you don't mind me asking, are your pets alive?"
Toto barked, and Moana held up Pua in one hand and HeiHei in the other. "Uh-huh."
"That's cool. But... how are you guys alive? Like, how do dolls gain sentience?"
I saw Loki look nervously towards Wanda, but I was used to this kind of secrecy between them and tried not to let it bother me now. "Dunno." Said Wanda.
"Alright, whatever. That doesn't matter too much, I was just curious," She shrugged in such a way that let me know that this did matter a lot. But She brushed it off and changed the subject. "Do you guys want to see some pictures from today?"
Um, yes. Finally with the Code broken we were able to take part in our humans' lives, just like all dolls want to, even if they won't admit to it. She told us to gather around the laptop while her camera was transferring the images there, and pretty soon we were clambering all over our human like She was a living jungle gym. Everybody took part in the fun except for the Funko Pops, who remained on the shelf. Before any pictures were seen She wanted to make sure they were okay.
"Hey, why don't those guys talk?" She asked, pointing at Blake, Heimdall, and Iron Man.
"They can't," Moana said sadly. "They weren't made with mouths."
"Ah, Funko Pops usually aren't. No wonder they look so unpleasant all the time. They've probably got stories screaming inside of them. Moana, can you call them over?"

"They understand English."
"Perfect. They're gonna love what I have in mind."
The Funkos, who previously where only obedient to themselves, came over to She without complaint.
"Listen, I've got a proposition for you."
Blake knew the word "proposition" took him down a road he didn't care to travel down again. He made his hands into "C" shapes and wiggled them away from each-other until they lined up with his shoulders.
"What is it?" Moana translated.
"I've got a idea. I think you guys are really gonna dig this," She said, then reached an arm under her bed, rummaged around a second, then pulled out a red paper folder. Five slightly wrinkled sheets back was a printed out paper with all the letters and numbers of the English alphabet and their Morse code translation to me. She handed the paper to Blake, who She easily picked out as the Funkos' leader. "Here, this is our compromise. You might be able to communicate with all of us in this way, even without mouths."
Blake's eyes hastily scanned each line, then turned to Heimdall and Iron Man for approval. They nodded once in unison at She.
"Great! All you need to do is make some tapping noises in the way they appear on that paper and you can spell out exactly what you want to say. It's gonna take some practice, but it will be worth it. Got it?"
I'd never seen such a fearsome band of dolls so happy. They ran off together with the sheet to search for a quiet place to study. There was no doubt in my mind that by the end of the night they would all know everything.
"That was quite clever of you." Loki said once they left.
"You'd think so, but I know not a letter of Morse code. I'm gonna have to do some studying of my own now."
They exchanged a smile.
"I could help you," Loki offered. "I know Morse code."

Did he really? I wasn't sure. He probably did. This was Loki, after all. But it made me wonder if he was only saying that to spend some more time with She.
"Maybe." She replied, and that was the end of that.
We got to see the pictures and there was definitely more than what was necessary, but humans will do that if it's a big day, which we were assuming this was for She. But that's all it was. Assumption. We didn't have the slightest clue what scholarships or graduation parties or colleges were. It was like they were speaking a whole another language, and for four years we dolls had lived with the knowledge that we could not know everything. But now with She, a giant connection to the humans' world on our side, we could ask her anything.
Nessa read my mind, as she was prone to doing, and tugged on one of She's butterfly sleeves to grab her attention. "Hey, She? What's graduation?"
She stifled a laugh. "What did you call me?"
"She? With a capital S? That's what the humans call you. Isn't that your name?"
"No, it isn't."
"Then what is?"
"You know what? My real name doesn't matter. I like She. It's cute as hell."
So She stayed She, and She didn't like our question. One hand began to choke the other, like She was missing someone else's hand that was usually held and squeezed.
"Um, well, it's like a celebration for finishing your last year of school."
"You're done with school? That's great! Now you'll have more time to do things with us!" Olaf cried.
"I wish I could, Olaf. I wish I could. But I don't. Not really for long because... well... college is like second school," She rolled her eyes. "Just like high school is the second school for middle school. And middle school the second school for elementary school. And don't even get me started on kindergarten and pre-k. I've done twelve years of school. And I'm about to go and do four to five more."
Olaf was disgusted. "That's college?"
"Yeah, but it's like fun school! Or it's supposed to be. College is more catered to your interests. And then after college you're done. You're on your own. Out in the job world with little knowledge of business or the economy or even how to use a pay telephone anymore..." She shook her head. "It's nothing. Just more school. School with longer hours and more work."

Loki stepped forward. "I know what college is. Most students move out to live on campus there. You're not leaving us, are you, She?"
The room became very silent when She wouldn't look any of us, and that's about thirty dolls who She had to purposely avoid. "Not at first," She whispered. "I'm living at home my first year, commuting each day I need to go. But I've already met a couple of friends at the orientation, and I wouldn't mind renting an apartment with them eventually. So yes, eventually I will have to leave."
There was a wave of murmurs and concerns from dolls who had already grown so attached to a human they'd only just met for real, but Loki was devastated. It was obvious that his hopes and dreams had sunk to the lowest of the low with that last line.
"Not at first!" She blurted, trying in desperation to clear things up before we went haywire. "Not at first. I'm staying here a year for certain."
"But we've only just met you..." Loki murmured.
"No, no, I've only just met you. I've got a feeling that some of y'all have been poking into my business for as long as you've been around." She's voice was pointed, but not directed at anybody in particular. In some way She knew that all of us were to blame at one point or another. The ones of us who were definitely guilty: Moana, Magneto, Olaf, Loki, the PSA, and I, all winced, embarrassed.
"Ah, great. Now I've spoiled the mood. Class dismissed, everybody."
"No! But we still want to see some of your pictures!" Nessa begged.
"You know what I want?" Elphaba said, who had been relaxing soundlessly on her back the entire time, facing the paper snowflakes on She's ceiling.
"What?"
"An Instagram account."
"What? How do you know what Instagram is?" She couldn't believe it.
"We've been around the 'net a couple of times," Elphie sighed, twirling a finger in the air. "Or I have. And maybe Elsa."

(Long story short, She allowed us to get an account, and we finally got something posted. Isn't that awesome? Basically the main goal of doing this is to hopefully attract more readers back here to the blog, but of course you guys here can follow me, too if you have an account of your own. You can find us here at this username: A_Dolls_Life_For_Me.
Anyways, that spiraled off into a ton of other requests. Dorothy wanted permission to do some baking if She was the only one in the house. ("Only if I get to eat it.") Hawkeye wanted an "Avengers headquarters" that would be set apart from She's bedroom. ("I don't know about that.") Nessa wanted She to get another Disney doll, like Tiana or Belle. ("We'll see.") But I didn't think She was too keen on getting more dolls anytime soon now that She had discovered we were alive.
The next morning, was She's real graduation, and the day after, She's Grandpa, whom She called "Pap" was due to leave on his trip back home. He lived up north, and that's where She's family would visit him on their trips sometimes. But it was a long journey and he had to get an early start.
She was up already, earlier than She was used to, probably working off the energy from the day before. Pap came in to say goodbye to She after She had finished getting ready for the day.
"See you later, kid," he said. His voice was gruff but She was clearly used to the way he spoke when they exchanged hugs. "Are you still coming over in October?"
"I hope so. I'd like to spend my birthday with you again," She frowned and pulled away whenever Pap only hugged her with one arm, with the other behind his back. "Are you okay?"
"Yes, yes," Pap replied. "I just have something to give you here."
Pap held out another doll and at first I could see that She wasn't so grateful, but then She recognized the character in took him happily. It was a middle aged man, with a perpetually confused look on his face, and I would be too, if I were in my pajamas and carrying a bath towel.
"This is your graduation present from your grandma and... well, from me. It's that guy from Hitchhiking around the Galaxy. You told me you liked those books."
"Yeah, it's Arthur Dent! And it's Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. He's got an excellent paint job. I'll put him right up here with the nutcrackers you gave me."

"You still have those? I gave the first one to you when you were only about five, I think."
"Yeah, it was a special gift. I couldn't give them away. Although this shorter one here was kept in the attic until Christmas."
"Is it Christmas in June?"
"No, I thought it was best to keep him with his brother."
She and I both knew that Pap wouldn't exactly understand. As far as we knew, he was like most humans and the Code of Dolls wasn't even a concept to be thought of. But he nodded anyways.
She and Pap hugged again and said their goodbyes. As soon as he had left and the door was shut, She wanted to know if her new doll was like us.
"I'd better step back and you guys can check if he's alive. I don't want to scare the guy off." She said, but Arthur could hear her so there was no point in saying such a thing.
"Has the Code already been broken with this one?" He asked, his head twirling around from doll to doll. He had an English accent, but one more informal than Loki's or Vision's.
"Yeah, sorry, buddy. You don't get a break like the others did. I'm your human. Call me She,"
Arthur shrugged, figuring that there was no use in pretending like She didn't know anymore. He held out his hand for a shake, and She took it with her pointer finger and smiled. "Welcome home, Arthur."

Learning about our human,

Queen Elsa

Out With the Old

Woah, sorry about that, guys. I didn't post a thing the entire month of June! Amazing how time flies when your human is on summer break. And speaking of our human, I think you'll find this one to be a very life-changing post. We seem to be getting more and more of those recently. Picture yourself at the beginning of this month, when school had finally let out, and a new thing was about to begin.

***

"Have you got all of the things for Goodwill?"

"Yeah... uh... in a minute. I have the bag right here."

The older female human, She's mother, looked doubtful. She poked her head of the doorway of the Room She Lives In and moved on to check on her other daughter, the one She called Sis. She let go of a breath that was either relief or dread. Sometimes feelings like that are hard to tell apart. She sat there on the floor a second, looking into the mysterious bag of things, then proceeded to pick up more things and shove them in there with the others.

"Spring cleaning?" Idina guessed, whispering soft enough for only us dolls to hear.

Elphaba shrugged. She was leaning far enough off the dresser to get a good look at what She was doing behind the other side of the bed we couldn't see. "Looks that way. Useless junk. Stuff we'd never bother with."

I felt Olaf tug on my cape, and with the other hand he motioned very little towards She. "Um... that's not junk."

I followed Olaf's hand and my heart broke- but only for a second. She was going to give her glittery Elsa canvas print to Goodwill, the one that I remember seeing side by side with Steve's on the wall during our first Christmas together. 

"Do you think maybe She has outgrown Frozen?" Olaf squeaked.

"I wouldn't worry, Olaf," said Steve, patting the snowman's back and taking my hand. "She'll have more space in her room now with that gone. Maybe even room for another doll," Steve then turned to me and whispered, "You're not upset about that going, are you?"

"Well, it is only a silly canvas print of me. She didn't really have to keep it for as long as She did. But I am going to miss seeing you and I side by side."

"What, you don't see that already?" Steve brushes his fingers against my palm as he pulls away from my hand gently, and the beads on our engagement bracelets clink together. I blush silently, reminded happily of what happened between us. Yeah. I could let go of the canvas. What we had was definitely better.

She's mother came back into the room, this time with her arms full of plastic grocery bags which contained all sorts of objects we had never even seen. "Your sister's got four bags here."

"I hadn't realized it was a contest." She said, still hiding behind the bed.

"Let me see what you have."

She sheepishly held up the single bag. The canvas was poking out of the top, but not much else was inside.

The older female human frowned. "Come on. I know you can do better than that. Did you check our closet? I want that to look nice so that your Pap can use it next week."

"I know, mom," She grunted. "The closet looks fine."

"What about the rest of your room?" Said "Mom", and she dropped the other bags and began rooting around in the Room She Lives In herself. "Your bookshelf is untidy. You've got things in here from the first grade."

"I wrote those things." She stated firmly.

"Fine. We can put them somewhere else. We've got that safe in the basement for you girls now."

Even though Loki was some distance from Olaf, Steve, and I, I could tell he had gone tense at the mention of locking She's papers and journals away.

"And what is this? Old jewelry that probably no longer fits you. Your sister could have these rings."

"She doesn't wear jewelry."

"Maybe one day she will."

She sighed. "Mom, I can take care of this myself."

"Alright, alright, I'm leaving," Mom picked up the bags again and started on her way, but not before taking a glance at us. She was probably only staring at the cluttered dresser, but I had the itching feeling that she was about to address us.

"You made bracelets for your dolls?" Mom asked.

"I did?" She set the canvas bag down on her bed and hurdled over it to come see what her mother was mentioning. "I don't remember doing such a thing."

"You must have. These two have matching bracelets here."

Everyone held their breaths and remained as still as possible, something we were used to, but for Steve and I, it was a real struggle. We were being singled out. We could even be found out. Oh, I had always known I would be the one to break The Code of Dolls! But I didn't want it to be this way. Not like this, right after Steve and I had gotten engaged so soon.

"They're awfully cute," She remarked calmly, selecting Steve and I and holding us apart in both hands. "I probably made them when I first got them back in 2014. Maybe I didn't find them until recent."

"Wouldn't you remember doing something like that?"

"Maybe not. They're small."

Mom frowned, looking from her daughter, and then at us dolls, and then at the bracelets Steve and I shared. Then she left into the hallway, apparently giving up. "Just have at least one other bag full before noon, alright? And I mean full."

"Okay," She shouted back, then shut her door and sat down on her bed. I suddenly felt like we were very much in trouble. "Now, what's this about? Matching bracelets for Elsa and Steve? Come to think of it, I don't remember dressing you in your Frozen Fever gown. Have you guys been up to something?" She waggled her pointer finger our way, but I knew it was only a jest when her lips curled up slowly into a grin. "Maybe it was the ghosts again. I always knew this house was haunted. Wish I would have known they liked arts and crafts sooner, though."

And just like that, our interrogation was over. She collected the bag and started back up on finding things to give away. 

"Dat was a close one." Idina said.

"Too close," Magneto muttered. "I can't believe your engagement almost put us all into danger. You should be hiding those."

"It's too late now, She's already seen them," Steve argued. "Besides, Olaf and Idina have kept theirs on for longer than we have and nobody's noticed a thing."

"Well, all dat matters is dat eet iz over."

"It's far from over." Elphaba spoke.

"What do you mean?"

"She still needs to organize her room for her family's visit next week. Do you think her mother will be satisfied with a couple of bits of forgotten trash and a canvas print?" Elphie shook her head grimly. "I don't think so. Pretty soon She's going to look back towards her dresser, and then..." Elphie held up five fingers on her good arm, and then started putting them down quickly. "Next thing you know, we're gone. On to a different home."

Idina fell into her husband-to-be's arms. "Oh, I couldn't dream of dat! Olav, please tell me eet can't be true!"

Olaf's melting coal-black eyes looked for comfort in me, but I didn't have any to give. I'd almost gotten everyone gone. At least a few of us leaving sounded a little better than Loki's horrific tales of saltings and burnings.

Steve became my hero once again with an answer. "Everybody, relax. None of us are going to leave, I guarantee you this. She loves us all individually. She wouldn't dream of letting go of any of us. Not by her own free will."

Magneto wasn't satisfied. "Give her time. She's human like the rest of them."

"The rest of what?" Idina dared to say.

"Not what, who. My humans. My previous owners. I've had too many to count. Before you know it, I'll be going to another one again. Who did I think I was in believing that this could be my forever home?" When Magneto's bitterness turned to sorrow, we knew to let him alone. For now, there was nothing we could do but stay quiet and watch She.

***

The following day, nobody knew what to think. She had filled two bags with things that weren't dolls, so that was that, but the Mom also wasn't taking them to Goodwill until the day before the relatives came to visit. We still had a small chance of leaving our home.

Everybody did their best to distract themselves. Some dolls spent the day reading, some dolls went outdoors to enjoy the heat wave, some dolls enjoyed one of my famous indoor flurries, and some dolls went to go bring Cogsworth some more yellow roses. She's corsage from prom had been made of those, so petals were easy to find, and so was Cogsworth, thanks to She's little sister's placement of him on the shelf in the parlor. It was a peaceful little spot, well deserving of a peaceful little clock.

She had work in the morning and came home to share lunch with her mother around two. We were able to spy on them from the stairs, and at the beginning it was a pleasant mother-daughter sort of experience exclusive to humans, but then it turned sour when Mom brought up the "C" word. College.

"You know, you're going to college soon. Don't you think it's time to get rid of those dolls in your dresser?"

"I don't think so. It's not like I'm playing with them or anything. I know I'm too old for that. I'm just a a collector. That's all."

"If you're not using them, don't you think it's safe to give some away?"

"I'd rather not," She gripped her mug of tea defensively. "They all mean special things to me. I got three of them from our first Disney trip ever. And those nutcrackers were Christmas presents from Pap. And you know why I got Moana."

Mom appeared to suck in a breath. "Yes, but I'm not trying to say that you should throw out those memories. But you have to admit it. Those dolls are clutter. They're taking up too much space in your room, and I don't think a clean freak like Pap will want to see all of those staring at him whenever he's in your room."

"We could always have him sleep in the guest room."

"You know we can't do that. We don't have enough space as it is with your cousins coming, and my sister, and your dad's parents..." Mom blew a piece of hair from her face. "Why don't we just call this whole graduation party thing off?"

She smiled. "Too late. We already sent them the invitations. And rented a freaking cotton candy machine. And then stole the neighbor's table that was going to go in the trash. That was a fun night."

"Yeah, it was!" The Mom agreed, her sternness vanishing. 

"Do you think they'll be wanting it back? For lemonade stands and such?"

"They had better not. We're using that for your photo reel."

And just like that, the conversation was diverted from dolls to stolen tables. Loki seemed pleased that She was a master of distraction. Maybe the two had more in common than I'd thought, but would it protect him when the time eventually came for some of us to go?

That night She's heart was clearly heavy when She came home. She was in her step and her absence of a smile. I was going to wonder what had happened, but I knew all too quickly what was going on. She opened her laptop and typed up a few words, and from the pictures it was obvious that She was looking at results for Disney dolls. 

"Nothing against any of you," She said aloud, as she was apt to doing. "But Mom says that maybe some of you could be worth money online. It will be worth the sacrifice if it'll pay for a single textbook, she says. Well, you know."
Her eyes flicked back and forth from us to the screen, over and over, and the tension was killing us. "Trouble is, I don't know if any of you are worth much," She stuttered and picked up speaking again. "Currency-wise, that is. Still nothing personal."
"This seems very personal!" Magneto hissed.
"Shut up, will you," Elphie pinched him. "We're being analyzed."
Elphie wasn't far from right. One second, she was lounging on her bed in front of the laptop, and the next, she was in front of the dresser, carefully staring at each one of us. I didn't remember her looking so tall, or her shadow being so dark.
She selected Sven first, who was well trained enough by now to be calm and steady around humans, especially in times like these. "I remember getting you. Third day of January. You were seven dollars at a crafting store. I think you're safe, little buddy. If somebody wants you, they can find you easily."
She likely couldn't tell that Sven was happy to be back on the dresser, but he definitely was.
Next, She chose Anna, her fingers gentle on my sister's back and belly, but not on my heart. I had to hold myself back from screaming.

"Now, you were a gift, weren't you, Anna? And then you came from Ebay somewhere. Your hair wasn't in the best shape when I got you, and no offense, but it hasn't gotten any nicer. I'd better keep you here."
Anna was placed back on the side of me where Steve wasn't, and I could see the look on her face that said, "Ugliness saves lives. Can you believe it?"
And I returned her look with one that said, "You're not ugly. Just not perfect. And I sure am glad you're not!"
She skipped over Steve, Loki, Olaf, and I, probably for sentimental reasons. We were the beginning to her first ever real collection of dolls, after all. She picked up Elphaba and Nessa, only to set them down just as quickly. Christmas ornaments weren't in season.
She went to Idina, but when She noticed that she shared a matching bracelet with Olaf, her brow furrowed, and Idina was set back down. She said nothing.
Anelle and Kristoff were the chosen ones.
Anelle was held first, and naturally she went limp like dolls were supposed to, but it wasn't hard to notice that one of her hands were slowly raising upwards to say "stop". I don't think She noticed or cared if She had, but Kristoff's eyes were blazing. "Don't do any more, Anelle. One wrong move and we'll all go out." They said.
She saw Kristoff and picked him up, too, his eyes quickly changing back to normalcy. She considered them, analyzing their paint job, the state of their hair and clothing, and all of their accessories. They were still in excellent shape, all things considered, and probably rare to find in a bundle together. Perhaps they could go for a lot.
Yes, that sounded like a good idea to She. She pursed her lips together and focused her eyes back on the results on her laptop screen.
We didn't know how long it was until She packed Kristoff and Anelle away in the same bag as the canvas, but it felt like forever and yet no time at all. I hated to see the both of them getting disregarded like that. It almost made me hate She again, but it didn't look like She was happy to do it.

Suddenly, She's little sister burst through the door. "Dinner!"
She didn't look up, as this was routine. "Mm." That was her "okay".
"Sis" came in through the doorway, uninvited, and lifted the grocery bag. "What's in here?"
"Will you stop being so nosy all the time?" She groaned.
"Dolls?" Sis was surprised.
"Yeah. Mom says I have to downsize."
Sis looked into the bag with both fear and concern and I got a prickling on the back of my neck. What did she know? "Do you want to get rid of them?"
She sighed, not able to look up from her laptop. "No, not really. But they cost a pretty penny online. And college is expensive."
"But you have a job."
"It isn't enough."
"Scholarships?"
She sighed. "Haven't won any of them yet."
Sis left the room wordlessly and we thought that was that, the conversation was over, but then she returned with a handful of dolls and dumped them softly in front of She. It was the Funky Warriors! All three of them; Blake, Heimdall, and Iron Man.
"What are these?"
"Mom told me to keep these until you finished all of your scholarships."
"Oh," She remembered. "But you see, the goal is to get rid of these dolls. This is the opposite of what I'm trying to do right now."
Sis shrugged. "Not my problem."
"Thanks?"
"Don't get rid of your dolls."
"What?"
"Just don't." Sis said, and before She could respond, Sis was already out of the room and going down to dinner.

***

For the rest of the week, without so much as a word to us dolls, She spent her time on a special project out in the garage. We only assumed that it was something to do with her graduation party. Moana, naturally, had befriended the Funky Warriors as she would any other doll. I would say some of the rest of us could not do the same so quickly. We still hadn't forgotten our war with them, and how it lead up to Cogsworth's death. I thought it would be a good idea to have a sort of welcoming party for them, to shake off everybody's stigmas, but that would have to be at another time when we weren't so nervous. Anelle and Kristoff were still off-kilter, hardly able to leave the dresser after that.

The day before She's big graduation party, her mysterious plan was revealed. It was a side shelf with multiple divisions, lacquered in white and glossy clear. 

It took a little help to get it up on the wall, but as soon as it was, the dresser was cleared off and all of us were sorted into a new place to sit. Napoleon, Benny, Dorothy, and Bell were brought up from downstairs and became a part the dolls of the Room She Lives In. Blake, Heimdall, and Iron Man were propped on top of the shelf with Benny and Napoleon. Olaf, Idina, Steve, Moana, and her pets got put into the farthest left corner, with Dorothy, Bell, Toto, Anna and I in the next closest one. Sven, Magneto, Nessa, Elphie, Kristoff, and Anna were beside us, and down on the other side something really big happened. Every single one of the Pocket-Sized Avengers, including one I had never seen, had their very own lineup, complete with all their gear and ready for battle. I seemed like everybody had their place with room to spare! I saw Anelle and Kristoff relax for the first time in days, knowing that now She had heeded Sis's advice. Nobody would be going away anytime soon. 

But would it be enough for the older human?
She invited Mom into the room to see the new setup.

"Is that the old shelf from the basement?"

"Yeah," She folded her arms proudly. "I spruced it up a bit and now all my dolls fit up there."

"Weren't you going to try to sell one of them?"

"Yeah, but look! I can't take any of them away now. They all fit too perfectly."

Mom sighed. "I suppose."

She was able to keep her distracted before anything else was said. "I'm sure I'll get a check or two during the party to go towards the college fund. Now see how clean my dresser is now, mom?"

Well, that worked. I felt assured that Mom would leave She and her dolls alone from now on. But She's sister was a different story. Minutes after Mom left, Sis came in.

"I heard you got a new shelf."

"Can't you knock?" She stressed.

She's sister didn't hear that. "Now I want a shelf."

"What would you put on it?" She asked.

"I don't know. I just want a shelf."

"Mmhm," She laughed, but then recognized something was off. "What, you're not going to pick any of them up and bat them around like you used to?"

"Nah thanks. I don't like they way they look."

"What?"

"You don't think they stare at you? Like, at night, when it's dark and you're alone?"

"No, not really..." She said, getting suspicious.

"Not even a little?"

"Are you okay?"

"You sound confused."
"Because I am! What is going on?"
"You don't know?"
"No!"
Sis rolled her eyes and came back beside She. "Oh my gosh!" Sis stared at the shelf, and we tried our best not to stare back, but it looked like she still got the creeps. Sis cupped her hand over She's ear and whispered something, but of course the whispering did no good because we dolls could hear every word.

"They're alive. All of them. I don't know for how long, but back in March I began spying on them. That's how I found out. And then one of them went silent. I don't know why."
"Them?" She cried out.
"Shhhh! They can hear you! They hear every word you speak! They're like tiny plastic humans. They have their own society and they do stuff when we leave the house. Why do you think four of them have bracelets that you can't remember making, or putting on their wrists? Your dolls did that themselves. Your dolls are alive."
Sis got up, leaving She speechless, and flashed us a cautious look before slipping out through the doorway.
The silence left in the room was the sound that could end worlds.
I couldn't help myself. I envisioned the saltings and burnings, and the goodbyes that were never heard or never said. But how could She? We'd only gotten a brand new shelf a minute ago! Could life really change that fast?
Loki flashed me a grim look from his place on the PSA side of the shelf, and I passed that look onto Olaf. My earliest friends here. One day we knew this would all come to an end. In the beginning, we feared each day would be our last to keep the Code of Dolls intact. I used to have nightmares in which I was the one to break it, and I can't imagine anybody else not sharing that paranoia at least once.
It was an awful fate, but it was one we'd have to accept very soon once She had mulled everything over.
She cleared her throat and shifted her weight into a straighter sitting position. We stiffened and braced for impact. Her eyes darted this way and that for a couple seconds, then stilled to a set place on the floor, and finally looked up and scanned across the shelf with new perspective.
A croaking laugh bubbled its way out of her throat, one that sent shivers down my spine. But when She rolled over onto the bed, clutching her stomach with laughter, we grew more confused then terrified.
She recovered and sat up again, wheezed and wiped away a tear, then said her first words to us now with the four-year secret revealed.
"Well, shit."

***

The next day was She's party. She wore royal blue, with a sunhat and sandals. We watched her applying makeup in the mirror in her room, just as She regularly would have when getting ready. It seemed not much had changed since yesterday's discovery of our little world, but we weren't about to mess with that.

"Should I tell her that She looks wonderful?" Loki asked nervously.

"I wouldn't risk it," said the PSA's Captain America, Chris. "Hold back on your feelings for now."

Thor didn't take too kindly to Chris's advice. "Nobody should have to do that! How dare you say such a thing!" He then knocked Chris's miniature shield from his grip with an equally miniature hammer. It clattered to the floor of the shelf.

She turned around, her brow furrowed. "You guys can talk, you know. In fact, I'd rather you do that than find out my sister's a schizophrenic."

"Say what you feel, brother." Thor encouraged him.

"Um...okay," Loki stammered. "I think you look very pretty!" He called out louder but it sounded more like a cough than a compliment.

"What was that?" She asked, her mascara wand out like weapon.

"I think you look very pretty?"

She giggled and set the mascara down on the now-empty dresser. "Loki?"

He raised a timid hand. "Hi."

"You know, most any girl in the world would die for a real life Loki in her bedroom," She joked. "But you've been here for years and never said a word. Why not?"

"We dolls must live under a code," Loki began, slowly gaining confidence, the blush not leaving his cheeks. "Funnily enough, it is called the Code of Dolls."

"Original name," She remarked. "How many of you can talk?"

A few members of the PSA were bold enough to raise their hands, and Olaf, too, but it still felt too unreal. 

"I don't mean to call anybody out, but we all can," said Loki. "All of us but Cogsworth. But he is downstairs. We don't like to see him because... well... I killed him." Loki hung his head in remorse.

"Surely not intentionally if none of you ever tried to kill me!" She forced a laugh, trying to make light of the situation until she figured out Loki was serious. "Where is he? Cogsworth?"

"Downstairs on that bookshelf with all the pictures on it. Your sister put him there. We're not entirely sure why, but I've got an idea that she had implanted a device in Cogsworth to peek into our world, and then when we tried removing the device, it terminated all of him."

She held out her cupped hands and nodded for Loki to step into them. "Yeah, she did mention something like that. I've got a couple minutes before the party. Could you take me to him?"

Loki smiled a little through the pain. He had probably been waiting all of his time here to address She face-to-face, and his wish was finally coming true.

When She left with Loki, Anna touched my hand. "Do you think She means us harm?"

"With a reaction like that? Never."

"So we'll be fine, here, forever?"

"Let's hope so. Or at least until we expire!"

Nessa broke in to our conversation. "Enough talk about death and despair for today. It's She's party! Don't you just love parties? She won't mind if we spy on it through the window, will She?"

"Definitely not."

"Come on, then! I can hear the people coming into the backyard!"
Nessa led most of the group to the window where they climbed the lowered blinds strings up to the sill, but some stayed behind, feeling both overwhelmed and relieved. I could hear the Funkos above me trying to tap out a message on the shelf while Benny and Napoleon bickered on whether to go meet their new roommates. Hawkeye was grumbling something to the Avengers while Thor sat criss-cross on the ground of the shelf, scratching his head and whistling as he thought about She and his brother. Beside me, Dorothy and Bell sighed happily, and Toto curled up in his owner's lap for a lazy Saturday nap. With Anna gone, there was a place between me and them that could be filled, a space perfect for Steve.
"Elsa? Are you alright?"
"Yes, I'm fine," I replied. "Why don't you come over?"
"Can I?" Steve asked.
I raised my eyebrows, testing him. "Can you?"
"I can try." Steve shrugged. The divisions of the new shelf were like walls and not easily passed through. But if Steve swung down and used it like one long monkey bar, he could do it.
"What do you think of this new setup?" I asked once he was situated.

"I'm not as close to you as I'd like to be, but it's not a bad shelf at all. For someone with little to no experience in woodworking."
"Oh, you could do better?"
"Maybe. Zayn taught me how to carve while I was in the attic with him."
"And what did you make?"
"A lot of smaller pieces of wood." Steve smiled.
"Impressive," I chuckled, grabbing onto his hand. "You know it's going to get really noisy really soon."
"Because of She's party?"
"Because of all of She's dolls in one place."
"You say that like it's a bad thing."
"It's not. Just different."
Steve nuzzled my forehead with his, something Moana called a hongi. It was their version of a kiss, a non-romantic one, but still endearing. She said that when two people share a hongi they are really sharing the breath of life. "You'll certainly have a lot of adventures to blog about pretty soon."
I secretly hoped Steve would be right. It was just like those comedic human shows, will too many people of different personalities trying to live in one house together. Thinking about it made me feel claustrophobic, but also excited. "You think so?"
"I know so."

Breaking the Code of Dolls,

Queen Elsa