Of course, I had already known there were seasons. But since I had been found in the winter and I was lost during the same winter, it surprised me that I would ever see a change on the outside from inside a dusty old attic. Since the cold, ice had wedged its way into the crack into the roof and created a larger gap for both Zayn and I to see out of. He was griping that it wasn't yet big enough to fit through, but I was just pleased for more fresh air and light. The scent of honeysuckle was carried along with the warm winds, and the tree in the humans' front yard began budding in shades of light yellow and green.
A lot else besides the weather had changed since last December, too. Zayn and I celebrated the coming of the new year, 2015, by scattered leftover tinsel and glitter all across the living space. Now it was March, and there was still the crunch of sparkle beneath our boots. Besides that, there wasn't much else to do. My heart ached to be back with my friends and family on Valentine's Day, but Zayn prepared us a nice sort-of dinner to help cheer me up. I had thought about using Elsa's rose as a centerpiece for the table, then thought better of it. The rose was our little secret, and if Zayn knew, he might get a little jealous. Since the first day I arrived up here had been so dark, he hadn't been able to see when I slipped Elsa's rose underneath my mattress. He still didn't know it was there. I did my fair share of exploring among the boxes, and Zayn and I both started a little schooling as I taught myself how to write a few things and Zayn wanted to be trained to become a Super Soldier. He's already getting better at long distance and high jumps, which I'm sure real-life Steve would have envied before getting the super serum.
"Ready for our workout?" he asks me eagerly on a particular day that March. He starts to stretch his arms out over his head, just in the way I had shown him, but I felt far from proud of my student. With my attention turned out our makeshift window, my mind was focused on something, or someone else.
And Zayn knew. He crept up behind me and said in a quiet voice, "Tell me about Elsa."
I shrugged halfheartedly. I wasn't really in the mood to speak what was on my mind. "What is there to say?"
"What is she like? How do you view her?"
The corners of my mouth turned upwards slightly, despite my glazed-over eyes. "She's curious above all else. She's never afraid to try something new. She made me see what was possible in the world, at home or abroad. She saved me from solitude in a box, and she introduced me to all of my friends downstairs. Elsa loves chocolate a little too much and sometimes she sleeps in too late, but that's what makes Elsa who she is. She's pretty easygoing for the most part, but I wouldn't doubt that she would defend her loved ones or strongly held beliefs. Elsa tries to make our world a better place for everyone, dolls and humans alike. She has so many great ideas. Granted... not all of them work sometimes, but she never stops trying."
"It sounds like you know a lot about her." Zayn commented.
"I do. But I wish I could learn more about her, too," I could see Elsa's face in my head as I spoke, and that time before I left her for the attic when I had taken her out for a picnic. How joyful she'd been that day. I wondered how she doing now with my absence. "Elsa has these gorgeous big blue eyes that sparkle all the time, even when she's not happy. Her white-blonde hair is always done up in a French braid that rolls down the side of her left shoulder like a cape. She's tall and elegant, and she walks in the sort of way that is quiet, yet approachable," I pushed away from the hole-window and fixed Zayn with a very serious look. "And she has magical hands that glow when she sings."
Zayn blinks, and when he speaks again, he stutters. "I-I know you've told me that before, but t-that's not possible."
"Oh, yes it is. I've seen it," I go back to facing the outside. "Elsa's a singing doll from the Disney Store. She has this switch built into her, and when she flips it on and sings, her hands glow blue and she can create ice and snow out of thin air with a magic I can't really describe."
"Nor can science!" Zayn squeaks, then considers something. "Then again, science can't really explain how we dolls are able to talk and move, either. Maybe having one with magic powers isn't too far-fetched after all."
"No, I guess it isn't."
Zayn is quiet for a minute, and I see him practicing what he wants to say out of the corner of my eye. "Do you love her?"
I sigh. I knew this question was coming. Zayn had to know. "Love is a strong word. But if it leaves you with any sort of consolation, I wouldn't mind going out with her again when I get out of here."
Zayn kicks at some invisible dirt on the floor. "I knew it," he murmured. "I never had a chance."
My breath catches in my throat. This conversation wasn't about Elsa- or me, anymore. "You'll find someone one day, Zayn. As sure as we are to get out of this attic. I can promise you that."
He looks up at me, his smile sheepish and his dark brown eyes pleading. "Even if it isn't a princess?"
I smile warmly. "No, it doesn't have to be. Love does what it wants, after all. But Elsa's a queen, by the way."
"Right. I knew that." Zayn clears his throat.
"There's a rose," I remembered, wondering if my voice was audible enough for Zayn to hear. "It's under my bed. You can go get it out if you want."
"If you're sure," Zayn says, and with some hesitation and as much care as I had first held the gift, takes the flower in hand and brings it over to the window. "It's as cold as ice!"
"It is ice," I point to the rose. "Well, not really. It's just covered with ice. The chill preserves its lifelike appearance. Elsa gave it to me that way because she never wanted the flower to die."
"So she really has these ice powers!" Zayn exclaimed, but then realized what that meant. "And she really loves you."
"I hope so. But I can't be sure yet," I laughed one short breath out my nose. "Maybe next Christmas..."
Zayn coughed. "Um, this Christmas."
I spun around. "This Christmas?"
"Yeah. It's a new year, Steve. It's March now," Zayn motions to the window-hole in the wall. "You saw that it was spring outside. So I guess that means you won't be waiting as long to see Elsa as you thought."
A smile tightened the corners of my lips, my eyes lighting up with newfound hope. "No, I guess not."
But I see how awkward Zayn feels about this. Without even knowing it, I has just friendzoned a person who I had never expected to end up in the same place at the same time with. But I don't think he had expected to have feelings for me, either. I realize it's time to stop moping and move on. With one more pining glance out the window at the most hopeful season, I begin to pull boxes around us this way and that to set up our training course. "So! Ready for your Super Soldier training?"
Zayn's face lights up. "Yeah!"
"Alright. Today we're going to work on overcoming," I bend over at a runner's mark, and Zayn does the same beside me. "Let's see if you can best me at a jumping contest. The first to reach the other end of the attic and back to touch the wall here, wins."
Zayn raises his eyebrows in a "challenge accepted" sort of way. "And the loser?"
"Gets to make dinner tonight." I say mischievously.
"Vanilla scented candles it is, then." said Zayn, already preparing for his defeat.
I laugh and tap my back foot against the ground, our cue to start running. As I leap over the first box with Zayn nearly parallel to me, I'm surprised to say that this cardboard and plastic crates might not be the only things we had to overcome that day.
Learning about love,
Steve Rodgers
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