Captain's Log: Steve's Year in the Attic Part Five

It was winter at last. Snow blanketed the roof above and further insulated our attic. We could exhale clouds like dragons, and the sound of sleigh bells were in the air. It was a cozy, comforting time for the humans, but a stressful time for us dolls, as Zayn and I had been waiting a full year for December to arrive.

And the humans, as I heard, were making room for new gifts they might receive by clearing old ones out from the basement to donate to a local charity.

"You know what that means." Zayn commented one day.

"No, actually, I don't. I was only here for less than a month before being put up here."

"The basement is the last place in the house you'll ever see before being kicked out to go somewhere else. Now you know."

"Ah," I said thoughtfully. "But weren't you in the basement before ending up here?"

Zayn nodded quietly. "Yeah. That's where I met Derek."

"Who's Derek?"

Zayn didn't answer my question. Instead he said, "I hope he isn't gone by now."

"Yeah, me too," I agreed vaguely. "But this is the first I've heard of the humans doing such a thing, so it's likely he's still down there."

"Not for long," Zayn grumbled. "I can't wait to get out of here."

"Me too, buddy. Me too."

That night I'd had a dream that I'd slept through the escape from the attic, but somehow I still ended up in the house again. Loki had nudged me awake with his scepter, a sheen I had never seen before in his eyes. He lead me downstairs to Napoleon's big Christmas tree, and waiting there were all of my friends from the few months I'd known them. They all cheered when they saw my face, and I felt like a soldier being welcomed home from war. Olaf ran into me to give a hug, and Sven bounced around excitedly at my feet. I hadn't realized some Frozen dolls would have such an attachment to a Marvel one like me.

Wait, Frozen...

"Nessarose, is Elsa here?" I asked the ornament, who was clapping her hands with joy.

She nodded enthusiastically and pointed to the tree. Elsa came from her hiding place, looking more gorgeous than I could remember. There was glitter in her hair and a concentrated elegance in her step, and even though her eyes looked a little sadder than before, they brightened suddenly when she saw me. We locked hands and almost lips as well, until I stopped midway, panic rising in my throat.

"Wait, where's Zayn?"

Elsa's deep blue eyes blinked in confusion. "Who's Zayn?"

I looked over at Benny, who's hair was standing up on its end in sudden fear. "Someone I met in the attic. Is he okay?"

"Ve haven't zeen anyone but you all day." Idina mumbled.

Whump. There was a sound coming from the garage, and the dolls scattered in terror that the humans might be home. But only I knew better. I'd lived over the garage an entire year, and I could point out the slam of a car door anywhere. My sights darting from the garage door to the outline of missing boxes on the floor, I sent my legs to sprint and started running. The humans had cleaned out the basement, and now Derek was leaving.

Somehow I was able to spring up from the ground and land on the doorknob, twisting it open and launching myself into the garage. But the large rolling door had already opened. I came outside just in time to see it closing again, and the sight of a car leaving the driveway at a speed slow for humans, but much too fast for a doll to catch up.

I heard mournful sobs coming from above me. Zayn was still in there, in the attic, and Derek was gone from him forever. I had failed them.

That's when I was relieved when I was woken up for real by Zayn, who appeared much happier than in the dream, blissfully unaware of the pain the both of us had just been through.

"You were crying in your sleep." Zayn said. He looked amused as I swiped a fist across my eyes.

"Dolls don't cry." I insisted.

"Right..." Zayn sounded skeptical. "Maybe not real, watery, tears, but you were still definitely crying."

"Dolls don't cry." I repeated, although quieter this time. In reality, I wouldn't be surprised if I had been.

"Anyway, I wanted to tell you it's December 23rd today."

"Christmas Eve Eve," I recalled, perking up, only to have my grin falter seconds after. "I think today's the day, then."

"Probably," Zayn was leaning against the wall and pretended that the window-hole was still there. "Nice meeting you, Captain. It was a good year." He starts picking casually at a few stray pieces of insulation.

I stood still in shock. "That's it? Just... goodbye?"

"Yeah, pretty much," Zayn sighed. "I expect this year to go like any other. When Benny was around instead of you, he'd get picked up along with the rest of the Christmas decorations while I stayed here."

"Why? You had plenty of chances to go."

Zayn was angry. "Because they all failed, Steve!" He gestured to the mess of boxes around us. "Look at what happened when he tried to escape before. Now try doing that five times more. It's never worked out for me. I could never leave," Zayn looks embarrassed as he rubs his arms. It strikes me how lonely he must be. Year after year, alone in the same place, and on Christmas, no less. "Benny was a nutcracker. That's why he got to go every year, because he was seasonal. I was a member of a boy band. My season came and went already. It's long gone now."

Things were quiet then, but not the awkward kind of quiet.

"Well," I started, clearing my throat. "I'm not Benny, Zayn. I'm not seasonal. I'm not a Christmas decoration. I'm a toy from a movie that's already lost it's craze. So, it would be a Christmas miracle if I were to get out of here. And if I do, I promise I'll find some way out for you, too."

"You really mean that." Zayn stated, his voice flat to keep heavy emotions at bay.

"Absolutely. It's my sworn mission to protect and save all those I meet when the time arrives."

Before I could react, Zayn had me tackled in a hug. "Thank you, Steve. You're my hero."

"I try to be," I said, letting Zayn squeeze me before I backed away. "If it truly is Christmas Eve Eve and the humans are getting the decorations today, we're going to have to think of a plan. Someplace to hide where we'll still be found."

"Some place to hide where we'll still be found," Zayn snapped his fingers. "Isn't that an oxymoron?"

I didn't know.

"Hey, what about this box over here? These are German ornaments, I think," Zayn unfolded the lid and lifted a shiny red bulb with a detailed scene of the creature called Santa Claus in a workshop. "It may be creepy, but the humans always put these ones on last. I'm sure of it. If we're careful, we can sneak out and hide somewhere in the house before they notice."

"Good thinking, Zayn. You're becoming more like a super soldier every day."

Zayn looked proud of himself before he said, "But it looks kind of thin. I think only one of us can fit inside."

"Then you take that one."

"What about you?"

"Don't worry about me. I'll find someplace to go. And it's you who deserves to see the light again first, not me."

Zayn crawled into the box gratefully, then looked out from the gap the lid left. "Then see you on the other side, Captain." He saluted before the lid shut soundlessly.

I mimicked the gesture, even though Zayn could not see it, then my world became a mad scramble of options. This box had a tear down the side, this box was too tight, this box didn't have a chance in making it downstairs. It was like I was the little girl in Goldilocks And The Three Bears, searching for just the right fit. I remembered hearing that story from Elsa one time. I just hoped I'd make it down to see Elsa in time.

Creak. I muttered a curse under my breath, and then cursed myself for swearing. I was so distracted in my own mind I didn't even hear the humans come in the garage. And now the ladder was being lowered to bring the final boxes down.

Finally, my sights caught on a box that would do. It was a festive red color with some gold text on the side. I titled my head to read it... Starbucks. Without further hesitation, I hopped inside and prayed that the humans would take this one downstairs, too.

It only took a second for me to come to the conclusion that Starbucks had nothing to do with the symbol on my shield or my character's good friend Bucky.

***

I waited in the darkness until I heard a scraping noise, like an object sliding over wood. Thanks to dolls having far better hearing than humans, I could tell it was Zayn's box being moved when I heard him suck in his breath. A sense of relief washed over me when, immediately after, I heard a box being caught down below. Zayn was free.

But would I be?

More waiting in the darkness.

I took a deep breath.

Before I could let it out, I felt all of my weight being lifted at once. My fighting instincts wanted to move, but I remained still and silent, reminding myself that the humans were not enemies and this was what I wanted.

Even more waiting in the darkness.

Based by the different sounds the footsteps below were making, we were leaving the linoleum-floored garage and passing the tile-floored kitchen, crossed the wooden-floored hallway, and then up the stairs to the carpet floor. My box was placed down on a similar surface.

I wondered where Zayn had ended up.

Maybe by the tree like he said those ornaments would be.

The human's footsteps were up close, then they got quieter until they were nothing more than raindrops on a window. They were a distance away. Maybe I had time to get out and see how my home had changed in a year, but I also didn't want to risk it.

Waiting in the darkness was my specialty.

I must have fallen asleep in there, because the next thing I knew I was jerked awake by a light tapping on the lid. I raised my wrists as a makeshift shield as light and air hit my face once more. A silhouette of someone familiar stood over me, so I knew to clamp my hand over his mouth, nearly covering his entire face, before he could say anything.

"St-" Loki began, shocked to see me and even more shocked to not see anything at all a second later.

"Shh. Loki, it's me, Steve. I'm back from the attic." I whispered, using my other hand to press a finger to my lips, then carefully removed my hand.

"I had gotten that vibe," He muttered, displeased. "But it good to see you back, soldier." Just like in the dream, there was a light sheen in Loki's eyes. Maybe he really did miss me more than he liked to show. I knew Loki wasn't all that good at displaying emotions, and it looked like that hadn't changed a bit.

"I know," I breathed. "I missed this place. And I missed you, too."

"All of the dolls, or me specifically?"

I shook my head. "Strange to think I missed your humor, too." I said.

"We're decorating our Christmas tree right now if you want to join. Everyone will want to be seeing you." Loki said calmly.

"No, wait. I want to make a big entrance. Something to throw everyone off. I can't just waltz right in there and pretend like a full year hasn't gone by."

"Right," Loki tsked, then looked around. There was nobody but him and me. "But how?"

"You're the trickster god, aren't you?" I say.

There's a pause, and then Loki's lips curl into a smile."That I am."

"Then I need you to find some way to get me in that room. And make it a surprise. It will be better that way."

"Already on it," Loki said confidently. "But your box is too heavy for me to get alone. I'll go fetch Benny and Napoleon for some help."

"Guess I'll just stay here and wait." I whisper. Loki turns his back, and with a swish of his cape, he had disappeared through a crack in the door to the Room She Lives In. I savored the light streaming in from that room as long as I could before the door closed and the lid had to go back on.

I may be back in the darkness for now, I had thought at the time, but the light I will soon see will change things forever.

***

Once it was evening on the same day and everyone had washed me in happy tears and handshakes, I thought it a good idea to see if Zayn had made it somewhere safe. Following my dream, I remembered the humans would keep boxes to be donated on the floor in the kitchen.

Luckily, and a little scarily, my dream had been right. Cardboard boxes stacked full of dusty antiques and unwanted human clothes covered the fake square markings on the floor, and beside them was a wooden bench, Amish built, but the things on the bench were not Amish at all.

"Zayn. You're okay." I said, my voice quavering in relief.

The copper-skinned singer looked at ease at last, and that in turn made me so relieved that I failed to notice the wild and wavy-haired male Barbie doll standing with him.

"More than okay," Zayn nodded. "Steve, this is Derek. He was with me all that time in the basement."

"Pleased to meet you," I saluted. "Zayn's told me about you."

"Of course he has," Derek rolled his eyes over to Zayn, but he was smiling. "He's told me about you too, Captain. Thanks for saving him from the attic."

I shook my head. "Oh, I didn't save him. In fact, I probably got him into more trouble. Zayn was the one who finally figured out how to get himself free."

Derek and Zayn clasped hands. "Good for you. I knew you had it in you, Zayn." Derek said.

"Please. Steve's still a hero," then Zayn turned to me. "Derek and I plan to hold hands the whole time so that no matter where we end up after being sold in the donation store, we can never be separated."

"Smart idea," I said. "But will you be happy? Even if your future is a mystery and you're leaving She'd house forever?"

"Let's just say we're not going to be lonely anymore." Derek nodded.

"Good. Then my work here is done."

I told the two I had to go back to where I belonged, and then wished them safe travels and a good home. I shook Derek's hand, Zayn gave me another hug, and then we parted ways as good friends. 

***

Zayn and Derek left the house by the next morning. I had said many goodbyes, but the last one still didn't feel like enough. And maybe that's why I felt like I had to write these posts. Storytelling is a way of healing, and even though Zayn and I had some great adventures, it's sad to think those adventures are over now. I can only hope that he and Derek have many, many more together, wherever they may be.

***

Since it's Steve's final Captain's Log post (how sad!) I figured he could use a sign-out picture. After all, who knows? Maybe he'll want to write some more in the future.

Happily reunited,

Steve Rodgers