The Funky War P.1: Swords and Shields

While we had been sidetracking for for felt like a long time with Olaf and Idina's Royal Engagement (stay tuned for the next part, likely due when it's time for the wedding come wintertime), I had not forgotten what Loki had said to me in the end of my One of Us post. Apparently there was something behind She's sister's door that had been making noises ever since January first, and possibly even longer. When I was finally able to catch a break from my planning with Nessa, I easily convinced Moana to go scope things out with me. And here's how that went...

***

The morning of, Moana was getting ready and muttering a song under her breath. She never sang, not since her finding day in Christmas 2016, so she must have been pretty happy.
"Aue, aue, nuku i mua... te manulele e tataki e.... aue, aue..." It was a lovely song, and I enjoyed hearing her Hawaiian when she spoke it, though I never understood it myself. There were still of a lot of things I did not understand, even after three years and then some living here. But maybe today I would learn something new. One could only hope, right?

"Ready to go, Elsa?" Moana asked, coming out from behind She's bed, having changed from the celebration outfit She still kept her in to her coral and beige two-piece. She had her paddle and her necklace, and she looked ready for anything, but something wasn't right to me.

"Moana, this may be weird for me to say, but I don't think you should wear your necklace today."

"Why not?" She asked, taking the necklace from her collar and setting it down carefully.
"Just... don't." I couldn't explain why I told her to do that, but it felt like the best thing to do. And I wasn't one to distrust my intuition before. Maybe it had something useful to say, and, if we had not obeyed its order, we would come to regret it in the future.
"Okaaayyy." Said Moana, looking back at it, and then to me, and then carried on with the journey like leaving her most prized possession behind wasn't an odd request. There was still a twinkle in her brown eyes. In a lot of ways Moana reminded me of myself. She got restless whenever there was nothing to do, so any opportunity, good or bad, was one to jump at. "So Loki told you that he had been hearing noises behind this door, right? What do you think is in there?"
"I'm not sure. I've not been in there myself. It's sort of taboo."

Moana's button nose wrinkled. "Why?"
"It's She's sister's room. She isn't even allowed in here herself."
"But She's sister comes into the Room She Lives In all the time."
"Weird how sisters work, isn't it?" I smiled to myself, thankful that Anna and I had never been that way.
"I wouldn't know. The ocean is the closest thing to a sibling I've got."
The hallway which separated She's room from her sister's was somewhat like a mirror, with a bathroom in between. Across the way, the doors looked exactly the same; painted white, with square grooves and a silvery round doorknob that refused to take any key larger than a needle. I imagined She's sister's room to be more or less like She's, only without dolls. Her sis wasn't much of a collector, and in fact, despised "girly" things at all. Instead, she was much more skilled in taking things apart and putting them back together. It was a talent, but also a passion. Nearly once every two months She's sister would find something new to create, manipulating bits and bobs to build tin-can robots or something like that. Bell would have enjoyed that sort of thing, but as for me, it passed over my head completely. I was much more suited to the world of wooden dressers and tiny Christmas trees.
Moana tapped on the door with the end of her oar. We heard the plastic against wood, but nothing else. "Are we sure Loki isn't lolo?"
"Low-low?"
"Lolo. It means crazy. Or stupid. It's what I call Magneto."
"Well, I can agree to one of those," I laughed. "But I didn't think Loki would be lying. He's been hearing it for some time now, but you know how he is about getting into the humans' things. He won't do it unless it's something She has written."
"Okay, so he may be a hypocrite, but he's not crazy. It's up to us to find out what's causing the noise."
I lifted Moana into the air and she grabbed into the doorknob, simultaneously twisting and pushing so that we got a full view of the room. In a way, my prediction had been right, the room was like She's, but flipped horizontally. The windows were on the opposite wall, and so was her dresser, but instead of dolls, there was a lava lamp and some unfinished mechanical projects. Also unlike the Room She Lived In, there was a cushiony blue chair, and on top of that were three doll-like creatures, still, but staring right into us with their monotone eyes.

There were three of them, and one I instantly recognized as an Iron Man character, in a shiny suit of armor. Another one who looked oddly familiar was a man with dark blonde hair, a torn red cape, and a strange-looking gun. The scariest of them, though, was the one with the long black dreadlocks. He looked friendly enough, dressed warmly in dark purples and maroons, but his unnaturally golden eyes and long, sharp sword did not.
"Do you think they're alive?" I asked, my nerves suddenly rising. Although dolls cannot die, it is believed that we can expire- that is- just cease to be animate. We become exactly as the humans perceive us... unchanging, non-sentient objects. Obviously, no doll likes to think about expiration, whether they believe it to be real or not. If these three weren't sentient, then this was a horribly tragic turn that neither of expected this journey to take.
"They have to be," Moana said confidently, stepping forward. "These must be the ones making the noise. I don't see anything else in here that could. Hey, wait... I think I recognize this kind."
"What?"
"Back in the Disney store where I was found, they had dolls like these. They had some weird name, but I can't remember it now."
Just then, the blonde one blinked to life, aroused by Moana's accidental offense. He turned to the other two supposedly dormant dolls and made a wave with two pointed fingers, and they blinked, too. All at once, the three of them jumped from the chair and landed with a single boom onto the carpet with us. There was no doubt in my mind now that these dolls had to be making the noises.
"Who are you?"
The blond one, probably their leader, frowned and beat out a rhythm across his left arm with the knuckles on the hand of the other one. The one with the sword nodded once, then responded to this with a drumming of three fingers on his temple.
"What is going on?" I asked, bewildered. Were they deaf? Mute? Impolite? Hostile?
"Hold on a minute!" Moana exclaimed. "These... Funko Pops? Is that what you called them? I just realized this- don't have mouths. They can't speak to us like we can speak to each-other. Look, they talk by making motions and noises. They're like kakamora."
"Can you tell what they're saying?"

"I can try," Moana replied, her confidence on the rocks. She started holding her oar like a schoolteacher might hold a ruler. "Um... hello! I am Moana of Motunui and this is Queen Elsa of Arendelle. We come from the room across the hall. What are your names?"
The sword-bearer's sternness faltered and he looked to the blond one, then shrugged. At least that was an expression I recognized. The blond one's brow furrowed, and he pointed one finer to himself, two against the spot between facial hair where his mouth should be, then directed the two-finger point at us. The Iron Man Funko nodded enthusiastically.
"He just said that he's going to introduce them to us."
"Great." I said, wringing my hands behind my back. I still had a bad feeling about all of this.
The blond one turned on a dime and dropped his gun with such a sudden act that I was a little afraid that it might go off. He took his right hand and beat both of his shoulders once, drew a swirl in the air and then beat a fist against his chest, pointed to his eyes, then knocked both of his fists together, one on top of the other.
"We are the Funky Warriors." Moana translated.
He pointed to himself and swirled the air before putting a fist to his chest again. Next, he held both hands above his head, palms upward to us.
"I am Blake."
With Blake's Funko sign language and Moana's help, we learned that the one with sword and dreadlocks was Heimdall, and the Iron Man Funko was obviously Iron Man.
"Well, nice to meet you." I said, trying my best to smile genuinely.
"Wait- he's saying something else," Moana squinted at Blake's movements in concentration. There were two thumps on the chest from open palms, hands from the chest directed at us, and then an X made with fists, the wrists knocking against each other. He did this over and over in a repeating series. It had to be pretty important.
"I means... prepare... for... war," said Moana. Her eyes suddenly went wide, realizing what she'd said. "Elsa! Turn on your switch, quick!"
I was already ahead of the game. My switch had been on as soon as I had left She's bedroom just in case. And my intuition had not been wrong. If I wasn't in such a tight situation, I might have even revelled in my accomplishment.

Heimdall lashed out with his open sword aiming for Moana's throat, but she was on her feet and ready to fight just as much as he was. She blocked his attack across the handle of her paddle and attempted to stick him in the side with the pointy part, but Heimdall blocked that, too. The two were equally matched.
I scarcely had to time to worry about Moana or wonder why the Funky Warriors were fighting with us before a red-and-gold bullet zoomed over my head. Iron Man's fist would have connected with me had I not ducked last minute. Blake had his part in the fight by shooting his laser gun at me from a higher ground on a slightly open drawer in the room. For a second I wanted to know why two of them were fighting me before I realized that I was bigger than them, and therefore, a bigger threat. I had to prove to them that their inferences were correct.
I started humming "Let It Go" (nonthreatening, but useful when activating your powers) and pointed a hand toward Blake, while the other searched for Iron Man. Each ice blast I fired at Blake was shot to shards by his gun, and Iron Man was moving too quickly through the air for me to pin down in one place. For little round-eyed bobbleheads, these guys packed a punch. This Funky War, if we were calling it that, was turning out to be harder than I expected. I wasn't sure how long the fight lasted, but the tables were starting to turn on us. I stopped firing ice at Blake and reverted to conserving my energy to make shields and protect against Iron Man, who would always pop up quickly in unexpected places. I had to risk a glance at Moana.
Moana was strong and brave, but she was not as battle-hardened as Heimdall, whose sword was a quick blur of silver and gold, slashing its way towards her face. And there was only so fast a speed I could go- my ice always formed a little later than Blake could fire his gun, and not all of my shields would block the blasts. I had to duck and dart around, and being sixteen inches tall, that wasn't easy. I was getting the idea that we should call for help.
Moana did too. "Elsa! We should get Loki! His group can help us!"
"Which one of us is going to leave the fight, then?" I asked, my voice straining as I caught a laser with my ice just in the nick of time.
"Good point." Said Moana, skillfully dodging a stab with Heimdall's sword and clocking him over the head with the flat end of her oar. His bobblehead shook with dizziness, but as skillful as Moana was, if she wanted to call for help, then we were losing.

"Which one of us should go for him?" I gasped. Iron Man had just missed me by less than an inch.
"You're fighting two of them. I should go." Moana offered, but she clearly wasn't in a position to get out, either. Heimdall had done a good job of keeping her stuck under a blue cushy chair she had been using as a shelter. There would be no escape for either of us now.
"I've got an idea!" I exclaimed, raising another ice shield just in time.
"What is it?" Moana didn't care that I wasn't anything like a warrior. Any battle plan had to be a good plan at this point.
"We need to get all three of them into one place. Then one of us will take all of them on at once while the other tries to leave. It's not like the Room She Lives In is very far away. We can do it."
"That is going to be tricky," Moana called back. She bit her lip and defended herself from another sword slash. "Okay. Let's do it. We have no other choice."
"I'll let you know when the coast is clear," I decided, hoping that I could keep an eye on three moving Funko Pops at once. There was no need for Blake to reload his gun, but as long as I kept making ice shields in the right place at the right time, I had no need to worry about him. As for Iron Man, I'd have to wait for the perfect moment when he would swoop down from the ceiling, and Heimdall, luckily, was floor-bound with the two of us, will only his sword and wit to keep him company. He was getting impatient of Moana hiding from him and was about to jump over the box that would land him right next to her...
"Run now!" I screamed, and Moana darted out of the way of the sword as soon as it came down and plunged into the carpet. Heimdall lifted it without trouble and turned his seething yellow eyes my way. Just what I wanted.
Blake, recognizing Heimdall's burst of anger, jumped down from the chest of drawers and stormed over, gun at the ready. I heard a sound like metal cutting through air and knew that it was time to duck again. Iron Man was coming, and he landed with expertise right next to Blake, and then the two of them paired up with Heimdall, and all of them were headed in a line, straight towards me.
Moana joined my side and raised her paddle sideways to protect the both of us. "I'm ready." She growled. It sounded like she was enjoying the fight. Maybe things wouldn't be so hopeless after all.
"You go. You're closer to the door. And I'm bigger than you. I can take on these Funkos." I promised.
"Yeah, that would be great. Only now we can't get to the door."
"What do you mean?"

"Look down, Elsa!"
The Funkos had us surrounded. I prepared to fire a double blast of ice. I'd never attempted this before, so I would need some space. I backed up to prepare myself and felt my back connect with a large, flat, soft thing behind me. It was She's sister's bed. And with the Funkos standing before Moana and I, we were both surrounded. Neither of us would be escaping very soon after all.

***

"So, Thor, explain to us how this works again." Chris inquired, trying his best to sound respectful and not amused, even though that guise was failing awfully with Tony's hushed cackling beside him.

"The dwarves Brokk and Eitri crafted this hammer with the purpose of protecting the gods. They called it Mjolnir, the lightning-maker. It will never miss any target I throw it at, and it will always return to my hand. Unfortunately, they fashioned the hilt too short for two hands to hold at once, but it is the greatest gift the gods have ever received. I would not have it today if Loki had not challenged Brokk and Eitri to a contest. I owe him for that."

Tony's cool-tempered voice broke through his laughter for a moment. "Alright, alright, Chris just wants to you to get to the part where you say that the hammer pulls you off."
Thor scratched his beard. "What?"
"He finds it funny. I don't know."
Thor looked to me for help, but I was in little mood to help anybody at the moment. I was busy gathering materials from She's bookshelf, things I would need to fuel my powers now that I was a part of a group that used theirs all the time. And I wasn't turning up with anything useful thus far. None of these documents had been written by She.
"Loki, do you know what he means?"
"Unfortunately." I replied. Chris and Tony peered over their shoulders, slightly startled to find me standing there just a few feet away. The pocket-sized Avenger's reception of me so far was still cold, though Thor trusted me, even admired me, all because he favored his knowledge of Norse mythology over the comics. Apparently mythology Loki was a far more redeemable character than Marvel's Loki was. From what I had overheard and was starting to remember, Loki was just another god who got himself stuck in difficult situations, with nothing but his wits to get him out, nothing at all like a man set on overtaking a universe. Me? Well, I wasn't sure which one I was yet. All I was sure of was how each of them saw me. Chris and Tony were apprehensive, Thor was respectful, Wanda was curious, Hawkeye was defensive, and Vision... well, not much was known yet about Vision. Not even his teammates seemed to have anything to say about him.

At least it was obvious that he was getting along with the other group of dolls She possessed. Nessa had taken a strong liking to him almost immediately, and, from the looks of it, her feelings were mostly reciprocated. The two of them now stood on She's bed together as Nessa gave a rushed rundown of how things typically went in the household. They were just getting to the part about She's laptop and Elsa's blog.
"And there's so much to do with this thing. We can watch movies, or look up images from those movies, or write blog posts... yeah, I don't use this thing much. Technology is definitely not my forte. But hey, Elsa and Moana have their part on the blog, and Elphie loves using She's iPod. We just can't figure out the password to some things, though."
Vision's yellow eyes appeared to be scanning the screen as if he could read right through it. "Allow me to try," He said. He had a voice like it had been practiced. When Nessa had the iPod propped up on the open laptop, Vision raised a hand, fingers splayed, and moved in slowly towards the dead screen. He barely had to touch it before he blurted, "7-2-7-2-4-2."
Nessa's mouth was agape. "Wow... how did you do that?"
"I may not appreciate the term 'android' a lot of the time, but there are perks to being one. I've found that I am rather good at reading technology, among other things."
Nessa was shifting her cape back and forth in her hands. "I thought that was pretty amazing."
Was that a blush leaking into Vision's already fushia-toned cheeks? I turned back to the bookshelf, embarassed that I had been staring at them for so long. But their privacy did not last long, as everyone's attention was drawn to Vision whichever he cried out in pain, holding his head and looking distraught.
"What is it? Are you okay? Was it the passcode? No, how could it be the passcode? Nevermind! Let me go get help." Nessa stumbled around, probably looking for our designated doll nurse Idina, but Vision held her back.
"No... wait... I believe it is I who need to be of help now."

Hawkeye's head whipped around to face Vision with such speed that it was like he had been expecting such a thing to happen. He abandoned Wanda's side (who had been helping him search the room for infinity stones and/or Rhodey) and rushed over to Vision's side, not allowing Nessa to help him up and took care of the matter instead. He spoke in hushed and serious tones to Vision, but no matter how silent the rest of us got, there was no way he could have understood what was being said between them.
In a second Wanda had grouped Thor and I together on the end of the dresser, as close as we could get to the bed without falling off. "There's something I gotta tell you about Vision. You see, he's got that name for a reason. He gets visions sometimes, but it's mostly boring, but if someone he knows is in danger, then the infinity stone on his head tells him so," she tapped her forehead to mime Vision's yellow gem. "It hurts. Apparently. He looked hurt, but this has never really happened before." She twisted her lips to the side of her face in uncertainty as we watched over the two of them, searching for facial expressions to decode.
"He has an infinity stone?" I asked.
"Yeah. Like I said, in his forehead. It's a yellow one. It does something... I guess. Don't know what, but we like keeping him around for it. Never know when something with 'infinity' in the name could be useful."
"I've only ever known him in reading." I admitted.
"Are you serious?" Thor asked. "This guy is a legend. Best purple weirdo I have ever met."
"He's not purple, exactly..." Wanda swayed.
"Hey, guys?" I would know that nasal-y voice anywhere. It's Chris, who has taken a break from immaturity to pick up his shield. "I may only be second in command, but I think we should get ready to head out. Vision never does this, and Hawkeye looks pretty serious."
"When is he ever not serious?" Tony asked. "But you all heard the man. We're being called into duty."
"How do you know?" Said Wanda.
The door to the Room She Lives In may have been closed then, but there was no mistaking a shriek heard from outside.

"Well, for starters, somebody just screamed." Tony replied.
"Elsa!" I whispered.
Wanda looked at me knowingly. "Giant blue lady, right?" She took my desperation for an answer. "Right. Avengers, assemble!"
Right here, right now, we were having our first ever real-life mission. All of the training and exercises and strategies we had been practicing for weeks were finally adding up to this moment. It was time to assemble.

***

"I can't hold them back much longer!" The Funkos had small arms, but their movements were fast and tricky, and my oar would break if I had to keep them walled away from Elsa one more second.

"Give me a minute!" Elsa squeaked, her voice hoarse from screaming after Blake had jumped onto her shoulders. "I'm nervous! My ice isn't working like I'm used to."

"Then let it go!" Puns aside, my strength was failing and so were we. Off the fly, Elsa had come up with the idea of making ice arrows so that we could grab a bundle and throw them all at once. If all went well, the arrows would sting enough to get the Funko Pops to surrender. But they were determined little creatures, Blake most of all. They were all piling up on my oar, which I had held horizontally to get more defense, but now it was like a bench-press, and the Funkos the weights. My morning exercises with Magneto weren't for nothing, so I could still hold them, but normal weights don't wriggle around or try to claw at your face.

"Got 'em, got 'em!" Said Elsa, bundling up all the arrows into her arms and leaving the rest right behind me for easy access. I pushed my oar on top of the Funkos, and as soon as they were up again I heaved arrow after arrow like a throwing dart. But Elsa's nerves hadn't helped, and most of the arrows were left bent or blunt, and of course, very very cold. They were doing my damage to me than to the Funkos, who were only mildly annoyed as the arrows bounced off of their bobbleheads.

"Wait!" Elsa called, like that would do any good. The Funkos weren't about to stop attacking.

"We can't wait! Give me your arrows! I have a better aim than you!"

"No, really, wait! Do you hear that?"

Surprisingly, the Funkos stopped fighting, too. They were all looking up at Elsa or around the room, wondering what noise she was talking about. Was it the clink of ice against plastic? Was it the whip of a blade through the air? Was it the...

"We are the Pocket-Sized Avengers!" A voice cried, loud and proud. There was a giant thud, and the door to She's sister's room gave way to a clan of heroes about the same size as the Funkos. At least seven of them were joining our battle. But were they joining our side? Then I noticed Loki, and he and Elsa locked eyes, one worried and the other relieved. "The Pocket-Sized Avengers," said the one that looked like Steve. "At your service."

They were on our side for sure.

Blake then made a couple motions to his team faster than I could decode, and they charged the Pocket-Sized Avengers. But these dolls were ready. The smaller Steve ran forward, blocking attacks with his shield, and a woman in red and black began forming clouds of pink between her hands. I wasn't sure what that did, but Heimdall was dazed as soon as the cloud touched him. A man with blond hair and a hammer combated Blake specifically, and another version of Iron Man fought the other. Behind me, another doll with purple glasses and a bow barked orders and shot needles into the air so perfectly that they came down on his target like the raindrop that always lands in your eye. 

My eyes were wide and filled with color. "Elsa... who are these people?"

"Come on, Moana!" She hissed, grabbing onto my oar and pulling me with it towards the door. "Loki's found us a safe way out. We have to leave now!"

I was dragged along on my heels from one bedroom to another, and then the door was shut behind us, blocking my view from the action. Elsa's knees buckled and she fell into a heap by the dresser, but now I was as ready as ever to get back into the fight. We were clear to win now, so why couldn't I see the victory?

"Why did you stop me?" I asked bitterly.

"They were winning... Moana," Elsa panted. "You said so yourself. That we should... get help."

"Yes, but I didn't expect it to come!" I gestured to the door, now closed. "How could they have known? They just came over out of nowhere! Who are they?"

"They call themselves the Pocket-Sized Avengers," said Loki. I forgot he had lead us here. "Technically, I am a part of them now."

"Then why aren't you out there?"

Loki turned away, not letting me see his face, but his voice was grim. "We heard a scream and I knew it was Elsa's. We decided to save her. I didn't realize she wasn't alone. These dolls are the secret I held back from the rest of you until Nessa couldn't help herself. You must have been out that day.
"I had a morning workout with Magneto, yeah."
"They claim to be here on an eternal mission to save the helpless and prevent future attacks. This is their first time doing such a thing."
Nice story, but that didn't answer my question. Usually I'm not one for giving up on getting answers, but I was too set on getting back out there.
"I'm much bigger than they are. They need my help." I went back over to the door, but Loki jumped in front of me and pushed back on my legs. He was surprisingly strong. Could it have something to do with his newfound powers? He had never held me back before.
"Let me through!"
"Moana, no. They can handle themselves. They're the fighting type."
"So am I!" I yelled, but there was no way I could shove Loki aside. I bent my legs and jumped over him, then jumped again to get onto the doorknob.
"Moana, please!" Elsa begged, but she wasn't able to stop me. I yanked on the handle and fell down into the hallway, then charged into the other room. With the door to that one slightly cracked, I could see all the action I was missing. I was being snubbed. But I wasn't finished.
I charged forward, slamming the door the rest of the way open, but when it connected with the wall, I heard something I hadn't before; a crack of ceramic and a whisper of a cry. That wasn't natural, but none of the other heroes noticed, so I thought everything was fine until I heard someone gasp, "Elphie!"

***

"Your friend is badly hurt. Give her a some time to get used to the wax. Otherwise, I strongly recommend that she rest as much as she can."

We had arranged some pillows and blankets around for Elphie, pillows and blankets far too big for her small (and now weak) frame, but Nessa requested it be so. It reminded me a little of when we thought her to be frozen by Elsa's magic when it had only been a clever joke. This was anything but a joke now. Nessa had knelt down at Elphie's side, her expression ever-changing between helplessness at her sister's state and smitten at Vision's help. As it turns out, he was just as knowledgeable in the healing process as Idina was.

"Thank you for all of your service." Nessa finally managed to say, her voice as cracked as Elphaba's arm. When Moana had run into the room with the Funkos, she hadn't known Elphie and Nessa were hiding between the door and the wall, spying on Vision, most likely. When Moana shoved it open, it connected with Elphie's right arm, half-breaking it at her elbow. Part of her arm had still remained attached to her body, so Vision was able to leave the fight and smooth things out with some dental wax. In the meantime, there was not much else we as dolls could do.

"Think nothing of it," Vision responded. "It's what anyone else would have done," When he looked at me, I felt a shiver, even though his gaze was nothing to fear. He always gazed at people in attempt to read them, but he never judged. But this time I felt judged from the inside. Why didn't you attend the fight, Loki? "I should get back to the Avengers." He excused himself from the area, his footsteps peaceful and solemn.

"Looks like I'm going to be bedridden for a while." Elphie groaned, both in pain and trying to make light. Elsa, Nessa, Moana, and I were all gathered around her, so I suppose she felt expected to entertain us. Moana had remaind silent ever since she cradled Elphaba back into She's room, as there were no words fit enough to express how sorry she was. Her pride had one the day, and now someone else had to pay the price for it. I would have felt awful too, but the other part of me felt like scolding Moana like the parent I wasn't. How could she have been so reckless? So foolish?

"I can ice it if that'll stop the pain." Elsa suggested quietly.
"I can handle pain. I'm durable," Elphie grimaced as she forced her other hand tighter around the crack. "But maybe not as durable as I thought I was. Do you ever think I'll be able to use it again?" Elphie looked up into the eyes of her sister, but Nessa did not convey so much hope.
"Vision says so, and I trust him. Do you want me to bring you some chocolate?"
Her quick movement from confirmation to diversion went unnoticed by Elphie. "What, is chocolate our only medicine?"
"It's the best medicine," said Nessa. "What kind do you like? White? Milk? Dark?"

Out of my periphery I saw Moana move out of the room, too guilt-ridden to stay much longer, even if it meant receiving chocolate. Elsa crept closer to me probably seeking some sort of comfort, but I had none to give. Elphie would get better, but she would likely never be the same again. That's just how the world works sometimes.
Minutes later, the Three-Inch Heroes entered, but there was no notice of them, and if there was, it was only brief. We had more pressing matters to attend to.
"The war with the Funkos is over," Hawkeye announced coolly. "They've been contained under boxes and are unlikely to escape with the weight on top. They will no longer been terrorizing our premises," he looked down as if there were suddenly an injured doll there that he had completely ignored before. Then he said more to just him and me, "Vision called us over. Man down?"
"Man down." I nodded.
He said no words of sympathy to any of us or a "get well" to Elphie, he just left, all the Avengers following hesitantly except two that stayed behind.
"What's his problem?" I grumbled, feeling hostile at his lack of empathy.

"Hawkeye's upset," said Wanda. "He really wants you on this team. He thinks your powers are valuable. And yet you only lead us there and never once helped us."

"Yes, why didn't you fight?" Thor shook the hair out of his eyes like the dogs shake their ears. The both of them looked tired, like they'd barely scraped past in winning the fight. Hawkeye apparently did not prefer to make these weakness known. "We could have used you, brother."

"I'll only fight if it's something I want to fight for." I insisted. A place in the Avengers mattered nothing to me if that meant doing something against my own morals or interests.
"You fight for us," said Wanda. "Don't you want to fight for that?" Then she turned on her heel and left, either disgusted or tired.
Only Thor remains now. He knows that the silence is sacred, as Elphie was currently trying her best to fall asleep even though her arm was broken. Alas, a doll as sociable as Thor could not stay silent for long. "They won't stay angry with you forever," he promised. "But this was our first fight as a team. We were supposed to stay together."

"I understand." I said. And I did.
"Only you were not with us," Thor appeared hurt, almost as much as Elphaba. "What would you rather fight for, Loki?"
I stiffened. "How are the Funkos?"
"They are excellent fighters. Though not as excellent as us," Thor boasted. Just like that, I was able to change his emotions. I wondered if that was something I could do or if that was just Thor's personality. I was still getting used to them... of all of them. "First Tony and I flew around and collected these boxes and held them in the air. Then Wanda lured them underneath and we dropped the boxes right on top of them!" Thor laughed like it was some sort of great joke. "Chris and Hawkeye gathered heavy objects and placed them on top, and the Funkos couldn't move. They shall not bother us again. Victory."
"Ta-da." I said halfheartedly.
"Exactly," he clapped a hand on my shoulder. "Take care of your friend, Loki. I hope you can find what you want to fight for."
Thor went and followed the rest of the Avengers, and suddenly I felt torn. My mind was split between staying here and attending to Elphie and running after them and apologizing. Yet, what had I to apologize for? Standing my ground was more important than admittance to any group, and if that meant feeling empty again, so be it. I assisted Elsa in gathering cool washcloths and more dental wax and wrappings so that Elphie would not have to hold her arm together in her sleep. She was a doll. She would never heal. But... I raised my eyes, and through the crack in the door, I saw the one to She's sister's room. But maybe I could make things better.

To be continued in The Funky War P.2,

Queen Elsa, Loki, and Moana of Motunui