***
"That's the seventh stone you've thrown," Magneto said. "Do you know why people throw stones?"My best, and, at the moment, only friend Magneto and I were in the humans' garden, away from everyone else. He had taken me here to clear my mind. He had said that I hadn't been acting myself recently, and I guess he was right. Ever since Elphie's accident... well, it wasn't an accident, was it? It was my fault. It was no accident.
"Eight." I sighed, skimming another pebble across the surface of the birdbath. Three jumps. Not bad.
"If you keep going on like this, the birds will have nowhere to swim." Magneto stated.
Fine, I think, and then ask to water to pull all the stones out. It obeyed, a surge of water lifting the pebbles from the bottom of the concrete and rolling them into my hand.
Magneto shook his head like he was disappointed and impressed at the same time. I knew he wanted to tell me why some people throw stones.
I brought my knees close to my chin. "It's cold."
"You said the sun was nice. You wanted to come out here."
"You brought me here, and that's before I knew it was cold!" I argued, before saying, "Tell me about why people throw stones."
"They say it's to get rid of something," Magneto stole one of my spare stones and threw it. It didn't skip at all. "You place a problem to a stone and then throw it away. The water takes it, and you don't have to worry about that problem anymore."
"Well, it's not working for me."
"Probably because you brought them all back."
I sighed and didn't say anything. He was right but I didn't want to admit that.
"I know you did something, Moana."
"So what if I did?"
"Otherwise you would not be so quiet for so long."
"It's been a day."
"That's a long time for you."
I tossed all the stones in the birdbath at once in a series of plunks. He knew me too well. "Yesterday when you weren't around, Elsa and I got into a fight."
Magneto looked delighted. "A fight with Elsa? Who won? You?"
"No, no, a fight with Elsa. We were both on the same side fighting these... Funko Pops in She's sister's room."
"But nobody's ever been in there."
"I know," I groaned. Why on earth was he so pleased? "That's what got us in that mess in the first place. Elsa and I were failing fast, but then, just out of nowhere, this group of heroes show up and save the day."
"You say 'heroes' like it's a bad thing."
"It was for me! I wanted backup but I still wanted to participate. Elsa pulled me away as soon as they arrived. Loki sneaked us out and he tried to keep me from going back, but I went anyway, and... well.." I bit my bottom lip. "Elphaba broke her arm because of me."
"How?"
"She and Nessa went in when we weren't looking. They were probably hearing the noises of the fight. They hid close to the wall, and I didn't see them, and when I pushed the door open, Elphaba's arm got caught and it snapped."
"Clean off?"
"No. Only a little. It's not off completely. But she's not happy."
"No offense, but I wouldn't be, either," Magneto said. "But you shouldn't blame yourself so harshly. How could you have known she was there?"
"I know. Yet..." I forced the water to pull all the stone back to the concrete edge where Magneto and I were safe and dry. "The Funkos don't seem like that bad of dolls now that I've hurt Elphie."
"What makes you think that?"
"I was the translator for Elsa and I. They didn't speak like we do. They're like kakamora," I tried to remember what they had signed me before we launched into battle. Pat your chest twice. A drawn semicircle outwards. Finally, one wrist crossed over the other. Prepare for war. But why? Why were they so hostile? Or rather, now that I had the humility to think of it, why were we such a threat to them? "They were fine enough at first, but they declared war out of the blue. And I don't know why. Rock?" I offered, holding a stone in front of Magneto's face.
He pulled his hands away. "No thanks. I'm not very good at it."
I skimmed mine four times. "We had a one-sided talk with them. They told us our names, we told them ours. We told them where we came from, they told us who they are. And then- boom! One second later, we were at war," I said. Another rock. Five jumps. "I don't get it. Why did they attack us? We'd done nothing wrong."
Magneto was thoughtful. "Maybe it wasn't you; it was them."
"Huh?"
"Something they have going on could have made them lash out at you."
My upper lip curled up in question.
"Or maybe there was something lost in in the language barrier."
"No, no, I got everything. I'm pretty sure I did." There was no room for doubt. I had translated the Funkos' actions perfectly. I just didn't understand them.
The conversation paused, and I kept throwing stones in the water, feeling better but still confused. Two of the pebbles went three times, and two went four.
"Could you ask them?"
I blinked, wondering if I'd heard him wrong. "What?"
"Can you ask them? The Funko Pops. Why they felt provoked."
"No. One of the Pocket-Sized Avengers said the Funkos were beaten."
"How so?"
"Subdued. Under boxes and weights. Never to bother any of us again." I muttered. Had that really been the best thing to do?
"Well... that's unfortunate," Magneto breathed. He laid on his back and stared up at the sky. I'm glad that one of us was able to relax. "For them. But not for us. That only makes things more complicated."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Don't you want to figure things out? And possibly befriend these Funkos?"
I smile for the first time in hours. "You? Wanting to make friends?"
Magneto bristled. "I said possibly! But at the very least I'd like to get some answers from them. Wouldn't you?"
I was tempted, but I couldn't risk another accident like what had happened with Elphaba. "Not this time, lolo. I'm sorry."
Magneto shrugged in pretend defeat. "Alright then. I'll just go ask Elsa."
"Fine. Have your fun. I'll stay here." I tried not to sound let down. Another rock went into the water but didn't even make it one full skip before it sunk.
Magneto fell into the gravel below and stood confidently, making his way from the garden to the front porch ever so slowly. "And maybe I'll ask the Pocket-Sized Avengers as well."
I felt a spark of jealousy. "Oh no you aren't!" I cried, throwing the last stone into the water and jumping down beside in. "I'll go, I'll go!"
Magneto looked smug. "I knew you would."
"Quiet, lolo. Speak of this to no one."
"I won't... as long as you promise to help all the way through."
"Is that a threat?" I asked, lifting Magneto's key-chain clasp and holding him up to my scowling face.
"No. Just an incentive."
I tried thinking of a worse insult to call Magneto other than lolo, but gave up. He didn't deserve that, and my old excitement was returning. I still wanted adventures, I just had to learn to be more careful from now on. And we would have to gather a team. A team to outdo- and undo- the Pocket-Sized Avengers. I had changed my mind, and now my next mission was to save and redeem the Funkos.
***
"This stttiiinnnkkksss." Elphaba groaned, attempting to use She's iPod with her left hand and dropping it in her lap over and over again. The tea beside her had gone cold long ago. Elphie would stop at nothing until she finally got the hang of things again, even it meant forfeiting relaxation.
"I know, Elphie. I know. More tea?" Nessa had mostly moved on from the tragedy of her sister's accident, (thanks to visits from Vision) but Elphaba was still getting used to the idea of her right arm being broken for the rest of her life. Even if She were to swoop down with her half-ignorant, half-attentive ways and a super glue tube, Elphie could not be the same again. She would just have to get used to having her left arm take dominance from now on.
I too, had changed a little since the fight. I had withdrawn from the Pocket-Sized Avengers, even though I'd been admitted not so long ago. I just didn't think I would like Hawkeye's attitude, or Wanda's pleads, or Vision's stares, despite the fact that I wasn't exactly sure if they would react in that way. A day had passed since what they called "The Funky War", but it felt like longer than that. I had not seen Moana or the Avengers since then, and while I was more worried about one than the other, the loss of the group had begun to plant that seed of loneliness inside of me again. How ironic is it that you don't begin to miss something until you've met it and it's taken away?
"Loki?" Elsa said timidly, unsure if she should approach. What was I, dangerous? Was quiet another word for dangerous, now? "Do you want to do some training today or...?" She mimed out the rest of her sentence in hand motions to resemble powers, but it only reminded me of the Funkos in the other room. I'd hardly gotten to see them a minute and the next they I knew they were entrapped. The only things I knew of them came from Thor, who didn't seem to care a bit of what the other Avengers thought of me and came and went from my side as he pleased, like the mediator I was supposed to be. He told me they were expert fighters, and I knew they had to be to keep a group of made-heroes over there for so long. But he had also said that they never spoke, and instead used their own form of sign language to communicate battle strategies to one another. Nobody had been able to decode the language, though Vision said he might have gotten close once or twice before getting Elphie's arm back to normalcy took precedence.
"Loki? Are you in there today?" Elsa joked as she waved a hand in front of my eyes.
"What? Yes. Yes, I was just thinking."
"About what?"
"The Funkos."
Elsa looked down like she wasn't allowed to say what came next. "Yeah, me too," She didn't have to be invited verbally, she knew I wanted someone to sit next to when she joined me on the dresser.
"Do you think they deserve what they got?"
"I'm not sure. I didn't fight for that reason. I didn't know the enemy well enough. I didn't think to call them an enemy."
"I get what you mean," said Elsa. "I didn't, either. I was only fighting them to defend myself. I don't even know why they attacked."
"Neither do the Avengers," I agreed. "This is the first time I ever doubted whether a group of heroes have done the right thing."
"Heroes are always supposed to do the right thing."
"Yes, but was it really? Being a hero is more complicated than saving one pretty woman from falling out of a building and calling it a day. It takes thought," I placed a finger on my temple. "And sometimes it takes regret."
"You regret what the Avengers did," Elsa said. It's not a question. "Is that why you haven't been with them recently?"
"Maybe so," I replied. "I'm not sure what to think of them- or the Funkos- yet. And now it looks like the latter will always remain a mystery."
Elsa's gaze falls to the window. It's one of those deceiving days in March- days that look gorgeous from the inside but are actually cold and windy. "I just wish there was something we can do."
I could remember what had happened earlier that morning, when the day was almost normal from the humans' perspective of it. A package had come to the front doorstep, just like any other business day. Typically it would be for the older two, such as dog food or herbal supplements, but today it was the youngest of them that ran down to receive the box. This never happened, and She knew it.
"What's that?"
"Not for you." Said her younger sister defensively.
"Well, I know that." She scoffed.
"Mom let me order it."
"What?" She tone made me think that this situation was not fair. "Mom hasn't let me order anything since Christmas. And who's the adult here- you or me?"
She's sister sneered, then wrapped the package up in her arms and breezed past She on her way up the stairs. "Oh yeah? Who hasn't finished their scholarships yet, you or me?"
She was left speechless at the bottom of the staircase, watching blankly as her sister went into her bedroom and shut the door. She narrowed her eyes shook her head, and called out, "You don't even have any application yet!" before realizing that She would be ignored. Sisters.
I hadn't known what had come in the mail for She's sister, either, nor did I particularly care on finding out. It was probably another one of her building or coding kits.
"We should do something." Elsa suggested finally.
"What do you suggest?"
"I don't know... something," she swung her long legs back and forth casually. "Nobody deserves the kind of treatment the Funkos got."
"Elsa- you know how dangerous they are. You fought them yourself."
"Yeah, but you said it yourself just minutes ago. You're not sure what to think of them. What if they really are good dolls?"
"It's too late to go back on that now." I insisted, trying not to let myself be won over. Only I knew that I wanted to make things right between us. Nobody could see how non-resilient I really was.
"What if we get help?" Elsa suggested, a little joy leaking into her voice. She knew something I didn't, and that bothered me.
"We are not doing 'get help'."
"No, no, not that. Trust me, the other Avengers will be left out if this for sure."
I looked up at her quizzically. She definitely knew something I didn't. I had a feeling I was in the process of being set up the entire time. "What do you have in mind?"
Elsa touched her fingers to her lips and whistled. Sven's hooves galloped down the hall, getting closer and closer. "You see, Loki, I already kind of got somebody to help. Two somebodies. And now, with you, three somebodies. And me."
"What is-" I asked, but before I could say "going on", Sven barged into the room, Magneto's key-chain clasp hooked onto his right ear. His eyes saw me, then Elsa, who nodded, the both of them satisfied.
"I see you got him to follow along. Nice work." Moana rounded the corner and lifted Magneto from Sven and onto the ground. She connected eyes with me and sighed.
"We've been set up."
"What?"
"It turns out Elsa and Magneto teamed up in secret and decided to go save the Funko Pops. And both of us were pulled into it."
"Are you really going to complain about that?" Said Magneto.
Moana tried to hide her glee by biting her lip, but a smile broke through. "Not really. I'm actually excited. We're going to go save the Funkos. Are you, Loki?"
This was dangerous being who I was. I had two duties, one to Elsa and my home and Hawkeye and my team. But I also had another duty to myself- and I didn't believe the Funkos' fates were sealed in stone.
Magneto clapped his hands together as if calling a meeting to order. "So! Shall we talk?"
"What's that?"
"Not for you." Said her younger sister defensively.
"Well, I know that." She scoffed.
"Mom let me order it."
"What?" She tone made me think that this situation was not fair. "Mom hasn't let me order anything since Christmas. And who's the adult here- you or me?"
She's sister sneered, then wrapped the package up in her arms and breezed past She on her way up the stairs. "Oh yeah? Who hasn't finished their scholarships yet, you or me?"
She was left speechless at the bottom of the staircase, watching blankly as her sister went into her bedroom and shut the door. She narrowed her eyes shook her head, and called out, "You don't even have any application yet!" before realizing that She would be ignored. Sisters.
I hadn't known what had come in the mail for She's sister, either, nor did I particularly care on finding out. It was probably another one of her building or coding kits.
"We should do something." Elsa suggested finally.
"What do you suggest?"
"I don't know... something," she swung her long legs back and forth casually. "Nobody deserves the kind of treatment the Funkos got."
"Elsa- you know how dangerous they are. You fought them yourself."
"Yeah, but you said it yourself just minutes ago. You're not sure what to think of them. What if they really are good dolls?"
"It's too late to go back on that now." I insisted, trying not to let myself be won over. Only I knew that I wanted to make things right between us. Nobody could see how non-resilient I really was.
"What if we get help?" Elsa suggested, a little joy leaking into her voice. She knew something I didn't, and that bothered me.
"We are not doing 'get help'."
"No, no, not that. Trust me, the other Avengers will be left out if this for sure."
I looked up at her quizzically. She definitely knew something I didn't. I had a feeling I was in the process of being set up the entire time. "What do you have in mind?"
Elsa touched her fingers to her lips and whistled. Sven's hooves galloped down the hall, getting closer and closer. "You see, Loki, I already kind of got somebody to help. Two somebodies. And now, with you, three somebodies. And me."
"What is-" I asked, but before I could say "going on", Sven barged into the room, Magneto's key-chain clasp hooked onto his right ear. His eyes saw me, then Elsa, who nodded, the both of them satisfied.
"I see you got him to follow along. Nice work." Moana rounded the corner and lifted Magneto from Sven and onto the ground. She connected eyes with me and sighed.
"We've been set up."
"What?"
"It turns out Elsa and Magneto teamed up in secret and decided to go save the Funko Pops. And both of us were pulled into it."
"Are you really going to complain about that?" Said Magneto.
Moana tried to hide her glee by biting her lip, but a smile broke through. "Not really. I'm actually excited. We're going to go save the Funkos. Are you, Loki?"
This was dangerous being who I was. I had two duties, one to Elsa and my home and Hawkeye and my team. But I also had another duty to myself- and I didn't believe the Funkos' fates were sealed in stone.
Magneto clapped his hands together as if calling a meeting to order. "So! Shall we talk?"
***
Surprisingly, Loki was the first to speak. "Let's start by gathering what we know. The Funkos are destructive. When the Avengers and I first entered the room, we found it messier than normal for a human of She's sister's age. And it couldn't have just been from the fight before," he looked to Moana and I for confirmation. We nodded. That had been odd... but I didn't have time to think of it then. "They obviously have something against the humans."
“But why go for the humans?” I asked. “What have they got against them?" Admittedly, when I was first found, I was iffy on them, too. She had just left me sitting there on her bed, still fastened in my box, and seemingly didn't care about me at all. But after I find out that She really did find me for a reason, I grew to appreciate my owner. Couldn't the Funkos see that these people mean well?
“Maybe they’ve been passed around from owner to owner for such a long time that they’re starting to feel worthless and neglected.” Said Magneto, relating the Funkos to his own backstory.
“No, I don’t think it’s that. These Funkos look too new... no offense, Magneto.”
“Maybe they’ve been passed around from owner to owner for such a long time that they’re starting to feel worthless and neglected.” Said Magneto, relating the Funkos to his own backstory.
“No, I don’t think it’s that. These Funkos look too new... no offense, Magneto.”
“Or maybe they’re jealous of the humans. Humans have way more opportunities than dolls do.” Moana nodded.
I shot her a look that she didn’t catch. It sounded like she agreed in some part with her statement, but why? If she was jealous of the humans, she’d never exhibited this trait before.
“May I make a suggestion?” Loki stepped in.
“By all means,” I said. “You are an Avenger.”
Loki chose not to acknowledge this he continued on. “I think it must be something to do with their make. Think about it. The Funkos are the only dolls we’ve met that lack something the rest of us have.”
“Mouths?”
“Exactly. They cannot speak. They probably hate humans for that reason and are bent on destroying their lives. Because, in a way, the humans destroyed theirs, from their very first day alive.”
Loki had a good point, and he might have even been right. But Magneto still wasn’t satisfied.
“That still doesn’t explain their defensiveness. Why are they so protective of property that isn’t their own?”
“Oh, you’re one to talk,” Loki shot back, reminding me of when I had first met Magneto, back when he was a grumpy old man 24/7 and cared about nothing but his ceramic Christmas village. Magneto crosses his arms, knowing that he’d been beat. “But it makes sense. If you felt like the world took something from you, wouldn’t you want to take something back from it and make it your own? They’re trying to fill a gap with a piece that doesn’t quite fit.”
I was quite amazed. “How do you know everything?”
Loki shrugged, as I expected him to. A lot of insight on the enemy was next to nothing to him. “I’m very intuitive. Apparently. I have a way to get into the minds of people I’ve never met.”
“Creepy,” Said Magneto. “Yet admirable. We’re planning on settling a deal with the Funkos. Would you like to head the team?”
I shot her a look that she didn’t catch. It sounded like she agreed in some part with her statement, but why? If she was jealous of the humans, she’d never exhibited this trait before.
“May I make a suggestion?” Loki stepped in.
“By all means,” I said. “You are an Avenger.”
Loki chose not to acknowledge this he continued on. “I think it must be something to do with their make. Think about it. The Funkos are the only dolls we’ve met that lack something the rest of us have.”
“Mouths?”
“Exactly. They cannot speak. They probably hate humans for that reason and are bent on destroying their lives. Because, in a way, the humans destroyed theirs, from their very first day alive.”
Loki had a good point, and he might have even been right. But Magneto still wasn’t satisfied.
“That still doesn’t explain their defensiveness. Why are they so protective of property that isn’t their own?”
“Oh, you’re one to talk,” Loki shot back, reminding me of when I had first met Magneto, back when he was a grumpy old man 24/7 and cared about nothing but his ceramic Christmas village. Magneto crosses his arms, knowing that he’d been beat. “But it makes sense. If you felt like the world took something from you, wouldn’t you want to take something back from it and make it your own? They’re trying to fill a gap with a piece that doesn’t quite fit.”
I was quite amazed. “How do you know everything?”
Loki shrugged, as I expected him to. A lot of insight on the enemy was next to nothing to him. “I’m very intuitive. Apparently. I have a way to get into the minds of people I’ve never met.”
“Creepy,” Said Magneto. “Yet admirable. We’re planning on settling a deal with the Funkos. Would you like to head the team?”
Loki backed away, done with this conversation. “I’m sorry, but my days as head elf are over. As long as I’m a Pocket-Sized Avenger, I am under Hawkeye’s orders.”
“But we’re not the Pocket-Sized Avengers,” I insisted. “Loki, before your friends came by, you were the leader. You were able to take charge of any situation and keep everything under control, even as the doll population kept growing. We could use that leader again.” I tried to replicate Sven’s puppy-dog eyes.
But it took very little to convince Loki. He got a sort of sparkle in his eyes, maybe nostalgia, maybe excitement, maybe both. “Alright, looks like the double-crosser is going to have to double cross. You said we’re going to create an armistice between us and the Funkos?”
“If we can,” Moana said hopefully. “If they’ll listen.”
“They’ve got ears. They won’t have a choice but to listen,” Loki grinned. “I like this. Let’s do it.” Loki went by the bookshelf and tore a doll-sized piece of paper off of a spiral notebook.
“Woah, I have never seen you this happy to be breaking the rules.” I laughed.
“If it’s not the humans rules, then it doesn’t count as rules, does it? Let me get a pen. Then we’re going to sketch out who will need to be where, and when,” and then the little elf man went off on his merry way to gather his helmet and scepter, calling directions over his shoulder as he went. "Moana will take away the boxes and weights, and as soon as you do, Elsa will freeze their feet to the floor. That will leave me to negotiate with them."
“But we’re not the Pocket-Sized Avengers,” I insisted. “Loki, before your friends came by, you were the leader. You were able to take charge of any situation and keep everything under control, even as the doll population kept growing. We could use that leader again.” I tried to replicate Sven’s puppy-dog eyes.
But it took very little to convince Loki. He got a sort of sparkle in his eyes, maybe nostalgia, maybe excitement, maybe both. “Alright, looks like the double-crosser is going to have to double cross. You said we’re going to create an armistice between us and the Funkos?”
“If we can,” Moana said hopefully. “If they’ll listen.”
“They’ve got ears. They won’t have a choice but to listen,” Loki grinned. “I like this. Let’s do it.” Loki went by the bookshelf and tore a doll-sized piece of paper off of a spiral notebook.
“Woah, I have never seen you this happy to be breaking the rules.” I laughed.
“If it’s not the humans rules, then it doesn’t count as rules, does it? Let me get a pen. Then we’re going to sketch out who will need to be where, and when,” and then the little elf man went off on his merry way to gather his helmet and scepter, calling directions over his shoulder as he went. "Moana will take away the boxes and weights, and as soon as you do, Elsa will freeze their feet to the floor. That will leave me to negotiate with them."
"What about me? What will I do?" Magneto asked.
Loki shrugged. "That's your problem."
The key-chain folded his arms, grumbling. Moana and I locked eyes, getting some of yesterday's energy back again. A few seconds later, we're in She's sister's bedroom, watching carefully as the boxes that kept the Funkos imprisoned remained as still and silent as ever. These dolls had a knack of being invisible when we wanted them least to be. None of us spoke a word as Moana removed the weights keeping the boxes down... a calculator, a large bag of pencils, and at least three different types of wire cutting tools. I wondered what her sister did with all of them.
The objects were tossed away, but the boxes still did not move.
"Are they still under there?" I mouthed soundlessly to Loki.
"They should be," He mouthed back. "Get ready."
A stood back a few inches, flipped my switch, and directed my hands towards the boxes. Loki beckoned Magneto to his side, and Moana held her paddle under the first box like a level. "Okay... now!" He ordered, and Moana pushed up on the box's corner. As soon as it was in the air, I didn't have much time to think before I froze the feet of whoever was underneath. Less than a second later, a disgruntled Heimdall began hacking at the ice with his sword, but it didn't help him any.
The next box came up, and it was Iron Man. He couldn't escape, either, no matter how quickly he thought he could fly away. Finally, it was the leader of all of them, Blake. He glowered at us like he had been expecting someone to return and keep him down. It sent shivers down my back.
"Calm down, calm down," said Loki almost soothingly. "We're only here to negotiate. We're going to help you now."
Blake turned a palm outwards and made a "C" shape from himself to us.
"Why should you help us?" Moana translated.
"Because what we did to you was wrong. Not all of our kind may be on the same page, but nobody has to know about this. Agree?"
Blake crossed his arms and shook his head sternly. Well, that was one thing we all understood.
"Why not?" Loki inquired.
Heimdall "spoke" for the first time. His signing was slower and more elegant than Blake's.
"We don't trust you after what you did to us." Moana said.
"Yes, we know. But we came to the conclusion that none of you deserved a full-blown war without purpose. We've come to free you as long as you can agree on some terms with us."
Heimdall shook his head twice, almost disappointed in us. Then he pointed his sword at Moana and I. I gulped.
"He says that we were the ones that started it all. Elsa and I."
"How so?" Loki asked.
Heimdall used his non-sword hand to point to Moana and I again, then made a circling motion around that represented himself and the other Funkos, then slammed a fist to the carpeted floor. These guys could make a surprising amount of noise when they wanted to.
"We invaded their turf."
"Ah," Loki's conclusion was all starting to come true. "I see. We trespassed on your grounds."
Three bobbleheads nodded at once.
"But you do understand that this room belongs to the humans? And this entire house belongs to them?"
Blake twisted his face into a monstrous scowl and sent off a series of movements.
"He... he says... well, I don't think I want to give you an exact translation. But he says the humans aren't very nice," Moana's voice was both amused and disturbed. When Blake pointed to his mouth and parted his beard, all we could see was a blank space of skin-colored paint. "He says the humans made his people without mouths. They... they deserve an invasion."
"Invasion?" Loki said, his pride for his theory growing by the minute.
All of them nodded again, but this time it seemed maybe a little... sad? Like these dolls were searching for sympathy, but since they couldn't find it anywhere, they decided to become little home-wreckers instead on their quest for attention and love.
"What if there was no need for an invasion? What if there was a way you could feel accepted and appreciated in the world of dolls and humans?" Loki stepped forward, unafraid. "We have a proposition for you. If you agree to it, you can come live with us, without war, and with a human to watch over you every day."
Hm. That was tempting. The Funkos looked thoughtful. With their feet still stuck to the ground, they all rotated at the waist to look at each other and sign things that Moana didn't even bother to uncover, until Blake turned to the rest of us and made much slower and, possibly agreeable, motions and noises with his hands.
"We don't wish for a human to watch over us every day."
"Then what would you like? We are up for compromise."
Blake gestured to the ice blocks around his feet. "Unfreeze us first." Said Moana.
Loki titled his head upwards to give himself the illusion of height. "Not until we come to an agreement."
Blake sighed through his nose, sounding tired. He held his gun horizontally and I was a bit nervous he might start firing, but he just shifted it back and forth in some new level of Funko Speak.
"He says they want to stay here."
That would make the most sense, since they were in She's sister's room to begin with, but how much more destruction would they cause if they stayed?
"We can agree to that, if you promise not to destroy anything else in here, and put everything back the way you found it. Like it never even happened."
Iron Man looked at both of his teammates and shrugged. A game of "clean-up" didn't seem like such a big price to ask, yet Blake stood his ground.
"Now for our terms," Moana said. "Blake... Blake wants all those who have fought them to come forward and apologize. And then we must give them something to recuperate. They- they want something that will make up for their loss in battle with the Avengers and for Elsa and I disturbing their peace."
"Not so bad," Loki muttered to himself, before slowly raising a hand at Blake. "Will that be all?"
Blake almost took Loki's hand for a shake, but then he said something more.
"Wait!" Moana interjected. "They don't wish to be disturbed after we have given them what they want. They don't want us- or anyone else, including humans- to come into this room again."
Loki frowned and lowered his hand. "I can assure you that no dolls will disturb you, but you have to understood. A human lives here. This is her room."
If you can laugh without a mouth, Iron Man did. "This is our room now." Moana decoded.
"Listen... I know you don't like the humans, but they're good people. They took care of us, and they can take care of you."
Loki was hopeful, Moana was honest. "They wish to be independent."
Loki sighed. "Well, then... there's nothing I can do for you. Good day." He turned away from the Funkos and started for the door, walking very slowly and hiding a mischievous grin. He knew that they it would not be long before he was stopped. And... he was right.
Blake struck down on the ice block around his right foot with the butt of his gun and shook it free, bits of cold whiteness scattering everywhere.
"Um, Elsa? Your ice didn't hold them."
"That's fine," Loki said, facing the Funkos again. "They're ready to give it up."
Loki was as cool as the breaking ice as Blake shook the other foot away, but the rest of us were starting to get restless, unsure of what they would do. Blake ambled forward, then thrust his hand outward. He had a stern look in his eye, but at least he was okay with compromise.
"Excellent," Loki said, grinning. "You've heard our demands, and you ours. Now, what are the two things you want?"
Iron Man beckoned Blake back to the group where he stood with Heimdall, still stuck to the carpet. Blake guns set them free, and then it was time to talk.
"Can you tell what they're saying?" I asked Moana.
"Not really," she replied. "They have their backs turned to us. I'm surprised I was able to say everything before this."
"I'm surprised they agreed." Said Loki.
"What? You were?" Loki had seemed so certain, about this and about everything. What it always just a guise?
"Their demands better not be anything too far-out there," Magneto muttered. "We didn't expect much of them at all."
"Yes, but who beat them up and imprisoned them, then froze them to floor?"
"Good point."
Finally they turned around to the rest of us, and Moana held her breath as Blake nodded to the others, then began to sign their desires.
"The first thing they want is peace. No outside dolls should bother them."
"Agreed. What else?"
"They want... seven stones," Moana's chin contorted in confusion. "Yeah. That's what he said. Seven stones."
"Like, any specific kind of stone, or...?" I began.
"There's plenty of pebbles down by the birdbath." Magneto commented.
"No," said Loki, his voice suddenly dark and his face suddenly pale. "I know what they mean. I'll be back. Eventually."
And, just like that, our main man turned and left, with only Magneto, Moana, and I to face the Funkos, and two of us three were not on good terms with them. It was very awkward.
Luckily Blake was done with us, too. He held a flat hand forward, squeezed it into a fist twice, and then drew seven circles in the air with his finger.
"Bring us the stones, and all of this will be settled." Moana sighed.
Then he pointed with two fingers and signaled a slanted line from his shoulder to his opposite hip.
"Until then, we are enemies."
"Ah," Magneto said, barely audibly. "That went well."
"It's not over yet." I insisted, even though I was silently urging my friends from the room. The longer we left the Funkos alone, perhaps the more agreeable they would be. Loki would let us know why he'd run away. And we would be back. This wasn't over.
The objects were tossed away, but the boxes still did not move.
"Are they still under there?" I mouthed soundlessly to Loki.
"They should be," He mouthed back. "Get ready."
A stood back a few inches, flipped my switch, and directed my hands towards the boxes. Loki beckoned Magneto to his side, and Moana held her paddle under the first box like a level. "Okay... now!" He ordered, and Moana pushed up on the box's corner. As soon as it was in the air, I didn't have much time to think before I froze the feet of whoever was underneath. Less than a second later, a disgruntled Heimdall began hacking at the ice with his sword, but it didn't help him any.
The next box came up, and it was Iron Man. He couldn't escape, either, no matter how quickly he thought he could fly away. Finally, it was the leader of all of them, Blake. He glowered at us like he had been expecting someone to return and keep him down. It sent shivers down my back.
"Calm down, calm down," said Loki almost soothingly. "We're only here to negotiate. We're going to help you now."
Blake turned a palm outwards and made a "C" shape from himself to us.
"Why should you help us?" Moana translated.
"Because what we did to you was wrong. Not all of our kind may be on the same page, but nobody has to know about this. Agree?"
Blake crossed his arms and shook his head sternly. Well, that was one thing we all understood.
"Why not?" Loki inquired.
Heimdall "spoke" for the first time. His signing was slower and more elegant than Blake's.
"We don't trust you after what you did to us." Moana said.
"Yes, we know. But we came to the conclusion that none of you deserved a full-blown war without purpose. We've come to free you as long as you can agree on some terms with us."
Heimdall shook his head twice, almost disappointed in us. Then he pointed his sword at Moana and I. I gulped.
"He says that we were the ones that started it all. Elsa and I."
"How so?" Loki asked.
Heimdall used his non-sword hand to point to Moana and I again, then made a circling motion around that represented himself and the other Funkos, then slammed a fist to the carpeted floor. These guys could make a surprising amount of noise when they wanted to.
"We invaded their turf."
"Ah," Loki's conclusion was all starting to come true. "I see. We trespassed on your grounds."
Three bobbleheads nodded at once.
"But you do understand that this room belongs to the humans? And this entire house belongs to them?"
Blake twisted his face into a monstrous scowl and sent off a series of movements.
"He... he says... well, I don't think I want to give you an exact translation. But he says the humans aren't very nice," Moana's voice was both amused and disturbed. When Blake pointed to his mouth and parted his beard, all we could see was a blank space of skin-colored paint. "He says the humans made his people without mouths. They... they deserve an invasion."
"Invasion?" Loki said, his pride for his theory growing by the minute.
All of them nodded again, but this time it seemed maybe a little... sad? Like these dolls were searching for sympathy, but since they couldn't find it anywhere, they decided to become little home-wreckers instead on their quest for attention and love.
"What if there was no need for an invasion? What if there was a way you could feel accepted and appreciated in the world of dolls and humans?" Loki stepped forward, unafraid. "We have a proposition for you. If you agree to it, you can come live with us, without war, and with a human to watch over you every day."
Hm. That was tempting. The Funkos looked thoughtful. With their feet still stuck to the ground, they all rotated at the waist to look at each other and sign things that Moana didn't even bother to uncover, until Blake turned to the rest of us and made much slower and, possibly agreeable, motions and noises with his hands.
"We don't wish for a human to watch over us every day."
"Then what would you like? We are up for compromise."
Blake gestured to the ice blocks around his feet. "Unfreeze us first." Said Moana.
Loki titled his head upwards to give himself the illusion of height. "Not until we come to an agreement."
Blake sighed through his nose, sounding tired. He held his gun horizontally and I was a bit nervous he might start firing, but he just shifted it back and forth in some new level of Funko Speak.
"He says they want to stay here."
That would make the most sense, since they were in She's sister's room to begin with, but how much more destruction would they cause if they stayed?
"We can agree to that, if you promise not to destroy anything else in here, and put everything back the way you found it. Like it never even happened."
Iron Man looked at both of his teammates and shrugged. A game of "clean-up" didn't seem like such a big price to ask, yet Blake stood his ground.
"Now for our terms," Moana said. "Blake... Blake wants all those who have fought them to come forward and apologize. And then we must give them something to recuperate. They- they want something that will make up for their loss in battle with the Avengers and for Elsa and I disturbing their peace."
"Not so bad," Loki muttered to himself, before slowly raising a hand at Blake. "Will that be all?"
Blake almost took Loki's hand for a shake, but then he said something more.
"Wait!" Moana interjected. "They don't wish to be disturbed after we have given them what they want. They don't want us- or anyone else, including humans- to come into this room again."
Loki frowned and lowered his hand. "I can assure you that no dolls will disturb you, but you have to understood. A human lives here. This is her room."
If you can laugh without a mouth, Iron Man did. "This is our room now." Moana decoded.
"Listen... I know you don't like the humans, but they're good people. They took care of us, and they can take care of you."
Loki was hopeful, Moana was honest. "They wish to be independent."
Loki sighed. "Well, then... there's nothing I can do for you. Good day." He turned away from the Funkos and started for the door, walking very slowly and hiding a mischievous grin. He knew that they it would not be long before he was stopped. And... he was right.
Blake struck down on the ice block around his right foot with the butt of his gun and shook it free, bits of cold whiteness scattering everywhere.
"Um, Elsa? Your ice didn't hold them."
"That's fine," Loki said, facing the Funkos again. "They're ready to give it up."
Loki was as cool as the breaking ice as Blake shook the other foot away, but the rest of us were starting to get restless, unsure of what they would do. Blake ambled forward, then thrust his hand outward. He had a stern look in his eye, but at least he was okay with compromise.
"Excellent," Loki said, grinning. "You've heard our demands, and you ours. Now, what are the two things you want?"
Iron Man beckoned Blake back to the group where he stood with Heimdall, still stuck to the carpet. Blake guns set them free, and then it was time to talk.
"Can you tell what they're saying?" I asked Moana.
"Not really," she replied. "They have their backs turned to us. I'm surprised I was able to say everything before this."
"I'm surprised they agreed." Said Loki.
"What? You were?" Loki had seemed so certain, about this and about everything. What it always just a guise?
"Their demands better not be anything too far-out there," Magneto muttered. "We didn't expect much of them at all."
"Yes, but who beat them up and imprisoned them, then froze them to floor?"
"Good point."
Finally they turned around to the rest of us, and Moana held her breath as Blake nodded to the others, then began to sign their desires.
"The first thing they want is peace. No outside dolls should bother them."
"Agreed. What else?"
"They want... seven stones," Moana's chin contorted in confusion. "Yeah. That's what he said. Seven stones."
"Like, any specific kind of stone, or...?" I began.
"There's plenty of pebbles down by the birdbath." Magneto commented.
"No," said Loki, his voice suddenly dark and his face suddenly pale. "I know what they mean. I'll be back. Eventually."
And, just like that, our main man turned and left, with only Magneto, Moana, and I to face the Funkos, and two of us three were not on good terms with them. It was very awkward.
Luckily Blake was done with us, too. He held a flat hand forward, squeezed it into a fist twice, and then drew seven circles in the air with his finger.
"Bring us the stones, and all of this will be settled." Moana sighed.
Then he pointed with two fingers and signaled a slanted line from his shoulder to his opposite hip.
"Until then, we are enemies."
"Ah," Magneto said, barely audibly. "That went well."
"It's not over yet." I insisted, even though I was silently urging my friends from the room. The longer we left the Funkos alone, perhaps the more agreeable they would be. Loki would let us know why he'd run away. And we would be back. This wasn't over.
To be continued in The Funky War P. 3,
Queen Elsa, Loki, and Moana of Motunui
Well, that could've gone worse. Good luck in Part 3.
ReplyDeleteSigned, Treesa