The Beginning of the End

I'm not gonna lie, this post was difficult for me to write. Of course, I say that about every post that I publish onto my blog. But this one was especially tricky. As you may know or not, I am currently a year into the future, writing and posting things that were a year in the past about me and my friends. So when recalling everything that had happened for us the month after New Year's had begun, some parts were foggy in my memory, while others were much too clear and detailed, and therefore painful to plan out and write. But now that I'm here and looking back on this subject, I realize that this is one of the most important things I will ever have written on this blog. This story needs to be told. And now, a year in the future, I think that I am finally ready to tell it.

***

It was a great time for us dolls. She and her family had just returned from their eight-day January vacation, and I had just finished Steve's Doll's Life File a few days ago. It seemed that all was once right again in the world. Sure, we weren't able to get out and do things very often, since She and her family stayed home for days on end to unpack and prepare for life in the New Year, and therefore a new beginning. They went back to their humdrum human habits and schedules, so we dolls went back to ours. Bell changed from her red and white Christmas dress to her regular green Tinker-Bell one. Dorothy and Toto sat smiling on the mantle above the fireplace. Occasionally a human would come along and twist the key in her back, and Dorothy's head would rock back and forth as the music box inside her played a happy tune from the land of Oz. Benny and Napoleon stood proudly in the corner of the living room. It had been more than a full month since Christmas, and they had performed their job of guarding the presents well. And things were well around here, too, in the Room She Lives In, on the dresser with Nessa, Idina, Magneto, Olaf, Loki, Steve, and me. 

Everything seemed perfect and in its rightful place. But something was off. The month of February was about to begin, and the humans hadn't taken their Christmas decorations down yet. The trees were still up around the house, and the railings on the stairs still held their festive pine tinsel. Christmas cards still filled up the columns in the kitchen, and no matter how many times a vacuum went over the carpet, there was still a trace of gold and silver glitter from New Year's confetti. Would Christmas ever truly end?
Magneto, who had probably been around as long as Benny and Napoleon, found it the most puzzling of them all.
"Curious that the humans are still keeping their decorations up," He commented. She had left him on the doll-sized tree in her bedroom, (the tree was still up, but the ornaments and tinsel had all been put away soon after Christmas Day) and now he was swinging from a branch near the top by his key-chain clasp. But today he was too confused to be angry at She for putting him there. "You would think Benny would be in danger by now. It's almost February. A little late, to be honest."
"It's probably just because they got back from vacation a few days ago." I said without much thought.
"Wait, why would Benny be in danger?" Steve asked, still new to the business that happened in the house.
Magneto suddenly frowned. "That is not my position to say," he grumbled. "Why don't you go ask him yourself?"

"I just might do that whenever I get the chance." Steve said, his face that of one of slight anger and concern. I had never seen him this way before, and it worried me.
Despite all of the basic and boring routine, the end of January came a lot quicker than we had thought. January, I had found, was a very useless month when you're not psyched for a new year. And to be honest, I really wasn't. It was only another 365 days, and even though I hadn't even been here as She's doll for that long, I wasn't expecting too much to be different. After all, what would dare to change us? A new year?
The first of February might have actually proved me wrong. It was only a normal day. She and the other humans were all downstairs, so the dolls and I had She's room were having a rather carefree day. Nessa, Idina and I were on one side of the room, testing out bottles of She's perfume that we had found in a makeup bag and creating a strong and smelly cloud around us in the process. Steve, Loki, Olaf and Magneto were on the other side of the room, holding their noses and doing whatever it is that boys do, besides shouting at us to put the perfume away, that's quite enough smells in this room and She will notice what we have done if She comes back within the next five minutes.
Overall, a very normal day for us.
But then the nutcracker brothers burst into the room without knocking, breathless from running all the way up here.
"It's happened!" yelled Benny. "They've said it!"
Magneto sighed. "Cue chaos in three, two one."
And the key-chain was right. Both Benny and Napoleon started to go into a state of panic. It was confusing, because we didn't know why they were freaking out, and in a way, it was also scary. Nessa eventually managed to get them calmed down, treating the nutcrackers more like horses than dolls, whispering "Easy, easy," over and over again until one of them could speak. "Now," said Nessa. "Tell us what happened."
Napoleon caught his breath. "Benny and I were downstairs, under the tree, like we usually are. But then I overheard the humans talking in the kitchen. They're going to start taking the Christmas decorations down this week!" he gulped.
"Okay... so?" Nessa, being a newbie, as well as Idina and sort of Steve, I guess, didn't realize what this meant. My heart sank as I remembered what had happened during my eleventh Christmas post. Benny was going to be packed up in a box in the attic for another year until Christmastime rolled around again.
"We can't let that happen." I said, surprised with my own determination.
"How, El- oh, okay!" Napoleon and I exchanged look and nodded knowingly as if we had a secret just between the two of us. Along with the memory of Benny's impending attic doom during the eleventh Christmas post was my talk with Napoleon after Steve went out in search of his whenever. We had decided on a plan that would save Benny from being forcefully locked away by the humans. And now it was time to put that plan into action.
"Yeah." I said, aware that everyone's eyes were on me.
"So where do we begin?" Napoleon asked.
"Wait, what? At least fill me in as to what is going on." said Benny, now more frustrated with panic.
So we did. Both Napoleon and I took turns explaining our plan. Which was not only beneficial to Benny, but to everyone else since the two of us only really shared our secret other than the circle time when we had met Mary, Joseph, and the baby Jesus. Plus the newbies got to know what was really going on.
When we had finished explaining, the group was silent.
"So, um, I guess that's it, then," said Loki. "Operation Hideout?"
I looked over at Steve. His face looked more serious than ever. I was hoping to get a reaction out of him now that he found out what happened to Benny each year, but nothing too unusual. He just looked... sad. Sad and determined, just like everyone else.
"Yeah." We all agreed. then we did that thing where a group of friends puts their hands in the center of a circle to prove their alliance and the starting of a new mission. We think that humans do this, all of the time, but I'm starting to doubt that. It felt nice, anyways, to know that we were not alone in this. But now we had the most important and possibly dangerous job that we could ever have, and that was protecting Benny.
"We'll make sure Benny is safe until after the Christmas clean-up is over." said Loki.
Once in our little hand circle, I looked up at Steve again. He avoided my gaze, looking calculating and thoughtful. I knew he had added something to the sentence for no one but himself,
"No matter what the cost."

***

"This seems to be a good enough spot," Nessa commented, as I lifted She's bedskirt up so everyone could take a look underneath. "I mean, if not a bit messy."
"It's just a little mess. That's normal to find," said Loki, shifting around a few of the papers that lie under She's bed to make room. "Most of these papers just look like trash that fell out of the bin, anyways. Although..." Loki picked up one of the crumpled pieces. His eyes scanned the page, and then he quickly folded it up and tucked it into the folds of his overshirt. "Although some of these might not have been trash at all."

It was the first day in which the humans were stripping Christmas away from us, and with that took Benny. But not if we could prevent it. The only spot we knew that would be a good hiding place for him (in which She never checked) was under her bed. So the smaller dolls went to work moving some of She's stuff aside to make a suitable hiding place big enough for Benny to stay comfortably in for about four or so days.
Once a spot was cleared, Benny made himself comfortable and took his wooden sword out of his holster, along with a piece of white clay, and began carving into it with the sword.
"What are you making?" I asked. I had never seen Benny carve anything before, though he was quite good at it. Maybe carving was, or is, his hobby. Plus he was rather calm for the situation, so maybe carving helped?
Benny looked up at me from his work for only a split second. "You'll see." he said. His voice was calm as well. Napoleon sat down with him under the bed and tried carving some more dry clay pieces using the pointy tip of his American flag. None of the other of us dolls knew how to carve, so we just let the nutcrackers alone while we went our separate ways.
The house is so quiet.
All we could hear were the humans downstairs, packing up Christmas and the like, and sometimes we didn't even hear them. The day was so long that it felt like a night without sleep. Dark and boring, with thoughts running through your head to no end. There was nothing for us dolls to do but to sit under She's bed, keeping Benny company and distracting him with tiny trinkets we occasionally brought over to use. Nessa got the idea to use the humans' printer ("why not? They're all downstairs, they won't hear or notice a thing.") to make a doll-sized set of playing cards to keep the nutcrackers entertained for the week. Benny has also requested a paper chessboard of the same size. I wonder what he is planning, since there are no pieces to properly play chess. But oh well. Anything for Benny now that he will be stuck under She's bed for four days, I guess.
Besides that, nothing else happened. Near the end of the day, however, I saw Loki checking out She's calendar. It was a Frozen 2015 calendar, and February was the picture of movie Elsa and Anna standing back to back and looking at each-other smiling. I liked the picture for an obvious reason, but it also made me sad for another reason. You probably already know that by now. But when I came across Loki, who was probably seeing how many days the big Christmas pack-up the calendar was turned the January page, a picture with the two female leads and Kristoff being all stoic in the background. So I went up to ask him why it was the wrong month.
"Hey, Loki," I began, approaching the little elf-man with fair warning, but he still jumped anyways. "Oh! Sorry to bother you."

"No problem. I was just, uh, checking to see what day it is."
"Well, for starters, you're on the wrong month." I said, pointing out the heading.
"Right. That might be why I'm getting the wrong date."
We stood there in awkward silence until I checked out a few of the things She had written on there. It was surprisingly not as boring as a calendar might have been. I could see why Loki was so enthralled. She drew little smile faces for special events like "Ice skating 2:00-4:00," and frowny faces for bad ones like "Sick day, blaugh!" It wasn't just any boring calendar, it was a diary. Most of them seemed pretty normal, though. Except for one of them.
"What do you think 'reindeer' means?" I asked out loud, pointing at a single square. On January the third, written in dark black pen, was the word 'reindeer' written in all caps and with an exclamation mark at the end. Not something a regular person puts on their calendar. It had to mean something to She for her to write it.
"I'm not sure," Loki replied. "That's what I'm trying to figure out."
"I'm sure we'll find out soon enough," I said, turning away from Loki and the calendar. "Come on, it's getting late. She will be coming upstairs for bed soon."
Loki sighed and followed me back to the dresser, where we bid our goodnights to the other dolls on the dresser before we all froze into place again, ready for bedtime.

***

As it turns out, we actually didn't have to wait too long for us to figure out what the word 'reindeer' on She's calendar meant. The next day held a big surprise for us. When She was for certain gone out of the house, most of the dolls woke up to go check to see how Benny was doing. Well, he was still there under the bed, kept company by his brother, so everything was still okay, day two. I was woken minutes later than everyone else, though still early in the day.

I just laid on my corner of She's dresser for a while (since that was where I slept) and made a plan to check on Benny under the bed first, and then find Steve. I wanted to get his opinion on Operation Hideout. I woke up like this every morning, thinking of Steve. It's not unusual for me, but now I had a better reason than just spending time with my crush. But I didn't want to get up just yet. Something was wrong, but not necessarily in a bad way.
"Elsa, psst." I heard Loki whisper. And right on time, too. I sat up and looked around the room, my gaze falling to the floor below the dresser.
"Morning!" Loki cried cheerfully, waving his scepter at me.
"Oh my gosh, is that...?" I asked. Loki was sitting on top of, no, riding, an animal doll I had never seen before.
"Yes! It's a Sven!" said Loki. Yep, he wasn't wrong, though I wondered how Loki would know the reindeer's name from my movie. Loki jumped off and hugged the reindeer around his neck. Sven tossed his antlers and snorted happily in reply.
"Since when did we get a Sven?" I asked. I jumped down from the dresser and approached the new animal carefully. I held out my hand and he sniffed it to see if I was safe, and then he gave it a big wet reindeer kiss. Ah, what a sweetie! I liked this new doll immediately.

"Remember last night before bed, when we were looking at She's calendar?" said Loki.
"Oh, you mean the word reindeer?" Things were starting to make sense now.
"Yes. As it turns out, She bought Sven from a craft store on January third, but we didn't know he was in the house, since he was downstairs the whole time. Since the humans are cleaning up Christmas, he ran upstairs to be safe from the mess. Then I'm pretty sure he went with She on that vacation."
"Aw, you poor baby!" I cooed, rubbing the gray-brown fur on Sven's back. "All alone downstairs for a full month."
Sven fixed me with a his big cow eyes. "I know, I was so lonely down there!" Came a goofy voice.
"Doll animals don't talk!" I said, jumping back at the voice. I remembered Toto, Dorothy's dog, the first doll animal that made me realize that not only the human-like characters could come to life. But Toto never spoke a word!
"No, sorry, that was actually me," Loki apologized. "Figured Sven should have his own voice."
Okay, so Loki was Kristoff, now, I guess. "Do the other dolls know about Sven yet?"
"Only Nessa. She was with me at the time that we found him. That's how I found out his name."
"And where is Nessa now?"
"Probably downstairs telling everyone else about Sven.Want to go show them what you can do?" Loki was talking to me at first, I think, but then switched to Sven. The two had only met this morning, but they seemed the best of friends.
"Okay, let's go. But first..." I took a sad glance at She's bed. The mattress was empty, since She was out with the family, but I knew that under the bed was not. "Let's go show Benny first. He's probably lonely, too."
Loki rode Sven and I walked to the other side and lifted the bedskirt. Benny was underneath in his usual spot, snoring. Napoleon, who was leaning against the wall, was asleep as well. It was dark and warm under here. I didn't blame them for sleeping in too much. Sven's duty was to nudge them awake.
As it turns out, everyone likes animals. Despite Benny and Napoleon being licked awake, they welcomed Sven with the same mushy, cooing voices Loki and I used and lots of backscratches.
"You're such a pretty reindeer, yes you are." said Napoleon, playing with Sven's fuzzy ears, which made his back leg twitch (like one of She's dogs when they get ticklish) and almost throwing Loki off his back.
"How long has Sven been around?" Benny asked.
"Since January third," I explained. "This poor little guy was downstairs waiting for a month, but he ran upstairs when the humans started packing up. Loki and Nessa found him this morning."
I could have sworn Sven glared at me. It wasn't very threatening, but still. Maybe he didn't like being called a "poor little guy"? After all, he had been capable of sneaking past the humans and saving himself from being packed up in a Christmas box.
"Anyways, we're going downstairs to show the others what Sven can do. Want to come?" Loki asked.
Benny tugged at his collar. "Um, I'm sorry, but we have to decline your offer. But I just feel safer under the bed. But we'll come out when all the Christmas cleaning-up is done."
"Okay." That was understandable, at least. Why risk it? I'd rather miss a day than miss a year.
"Besides, we have a game of chess to finish!" said Napoleon. He grabbed a tiny cream-colored box, a box that had once held a pair of She's opal earrings, but as he lifted the box's lid and dumped the contents out, I noticed that tiny paper chessboard we had printed out for the nutcrackers yesterday, but also the dry clay pieces they were carving. They now looked like crudely-made chess pieces.
"Aw, that's adorable!" I squealed, clapping me hands in girlish glee. Maybe it's just my height, but I absolutely love tiny things.
"Do you know how to play chess?" Loki asked, out of curiosity.
"To me, life is a game of chess." said Benny. He set the clay chess pieces on the appropriate places on the printed paper board and we watched him make the first move.
Napoleon studied the board, a puzzled look on his face, and then moved one of his chess pieces to the other side triumphantly. "Aha! King me!"
Benny winced out of pity for his clueless brother. "That is checkers, Napoleon."
"Oh, right," Napoleon sheepishly moved his piece back. "Must have been another bout of amnesia."

We left the nutcrackers to their game and decided it was time to take Sven downstairs. We didn't know where the humans had gone, and we didn't know when they would be coming home, so it was best that we just did things quickly to be safe.

Loki and I found the others downstairs, just where we had thought they would be. Everyone but Nessa, who already knew, was absolutely thrilled to see Sven. And Sven loved the attention just as much, licking their hands and making reindeer noises. Once the excitement of a new family member had died down, I refocused on my old goal once again. I had to find Steve. For some reason, my heart's pull towards him was especially strong today.
"Maybe it's the magnets?" I whispered to myself.
"What's the magnets?" Nessa asked. I jumped back in surprise, not even noticing the four-inch Anna doll that had somehow teleported next to me.
I sighed. "It's a doll's hopeful myth. When I was back at Wandering Oaken's waiting to be found, the girls and I would trade stories every night when the store closed down to help keep our mind off of things and get us to fall asleep."
"So?" Nessa tugged on my dress, and so I sat down on the floor next to her so she could hear me better. "What does that have to do with these magnets?"
"It was the best story that was told during my time there. It was told by another Elsa doll of my kind, who called herself Juliet. Juliet was a natural romantic. She told us all that she believed that all dolls, no matter what kind, had a magnet inside of them. Since we are not humans and we have no physical hearts, Juliet decided that we had magnets instead, that would attract and repel us to and from other certain dolls. Each magnet was different, like a human's fingerprint. But, whether it was fate or not, your magnet would have a twin of the opposite charge in another doll. It could be any doll, and it didn't have to be one of your own kind. Say, if a Disney person's magnet connected with a Marvel's person's magnet." I explained.

Nessa's eyes flashed wide with something, maybe surprise. "Really?"
"Yes. But it's silly, really," I shook my head. "It was Juliet's theory on how dolls ended up together. You would find the love of your life once your magnet found its twin of the opposite charge. Her legend says that once you got close enough to that certain person with just the right magnet..." I made half a hand-heart on each side and then brought them together in the middle to form a full hand-heart. "Click. That's how it would happen. Your magnets, or hearts, whatever you want to call them, would just connect. It would be something like love."
"Something like love?" Nessa grabbed my arm. "That is love!"
I didn't feel like arguing with Nessa, because I knew she would win. I just lowered my voice and said, "Sure." in agreement.
A shadow suddenly fell over Nessa's and my face and we looked up to see who it was. And... it was Steve. Of course.
"We were just talking about Sven." said Nessa, even though that was a lie and Steve hadn't asked anything yet. I narrowed my eyes at Nessa, who returned it with a sheepish smile.
"Yeah, I never knew animals could come to life like that. Right, anyways..." Steve stumbled over words like he was falling down the stairs, a graceful and quick-witted as Napoleon had been. Whatever was troubling him, I wanted to make it a little less awkward by not staring at him full-on in the face, but unfortunately that's exactly what I found myself doing. So that mask he was wearing could never come off, then? Because I really wanted to see what his real face looked like underneath. I could probably imagine what it looked like. I imagined a very handsome nose, perhaps a square chin every desirable guy possesses, and, of course, those steady blue eyes. Yeah. Who said daydreaming wasn't a good thing?
I felt Nessa nudge my arm with her elbow a lot harder than she needed to, her eyes signaling that I should probably be paying attention to Steve's words, and not his face. Oops.
"I'm sorry, I kind of zoned out for a bit there. Can you repeat what you said?" I had planned to say. Instead I just fixed him with a dumb blank stare and said, "What?"
"Uh, well, okay. I guess I got to run through all of that again." Steve rubbed the back of his neck, as I found he did often. Maybe he had shoulder pain. Was that a thing? Could dolls get physical human ailments?
"I'm sorry." I whispered.
"No, it's not a problem, really, I just got to find the courage to ask again." Steve coughed, though he never seemed to sound like he needed to. His throat was clear and he talked normally. Another nervous habit?
"Maybe I could help you. What did you want to ask?"
"Well, I was wondering if, uh, maybe, you wanted to have tea with me later."
Would having tea with Steve be considered a first date? Well, I guess it depended on what he meant by that. He could always have one of his guyfriends dining with us, right?
"I was thinking it could maybe just be you and me."
Nope. Definitely not what I was thinking.
"Um, sure. When?" I was proud at myself at this moment, and thankful that I was made as an Elsa doll. I was the queen of cool.
"Maybe just right here by the door, in the afternoon when it's sunny. I can set up the plates and stuff if you want, and as long as the humans aren't home that time tomorrow."
"Twelve o'clock? Gotcha. Anything else?" I was trying to visualize a calendar in my head, like the one in She's room, but it was no use. All the girly-freak-out alarms were blaring far too loudly in my mind.
"Um, not really. It was only an idea. If you don't want to, then I-"
"No, Steve. It's fine. Tea's great. I've always liked tea." And I've always liked you, too. Did I mention that? I wanted to say.
"Okay, great. Then... I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Of course. Wait... will I not see you for the rest of the day?" I called out, as Steve was starting to leave Nessa and I by the couch.
"I have a few things to tell Benny and Napoleon, so maybe not. But definitely tomorrow!" Steve grinned at me before turning and running away, and I flashed him a thumbs-up a second too late for him to see. So instead I turned back to Nessa, mouth open wide. "He he just ask me out?"
"I don't know! Who cares?" Nessa squealed. "I'm helping you get ready for it whatever it is, and whether you like it or not! It's time for some magnets to connect!"

***

"At this point you would probably be better off asking Idina." Nessa grumbled.

"Just relax. You're doing fine." I said, trying to encourage my friend. A negative comment might result in a painful hair pull. And she was doing enough of those already. By accident, of course.

It was ten minutes or so before my "date" with Steve, if you could call it that. Nessa and I were in the Room She Lives In, with me sitting on the floor, and Nessa was standing on a plastic stool to get to my height. 

Nessa already made sure I looked better ("than usual, don't worry, you don't look like a cow!" she had protested) by unbraiding a rebraiding my white-blonde hair, and then polishing the snowflake earrings with a cleaning cloth and putting them back in. The tops of my shoes were polished as well, (for some reason) and the folds in my dress and cape had been straightened out. We rediscovered She's perfume bucket from a few days ago and found my favorite one, Sweet Love, to put a drip on my wrists and rub them together to spread the scent. Now Nessa was on the last step, which was tying a ribbon around my head as a headband. Because why not?

Nessa finished with the headband and I was given a hand mirror to see what kind of job she had done. It was one of She's hand mirrors, a blue one with rhinestones and glitter that liked to shed everywhere. But I had a lot on the bodice of my dress already, so I was used to it. Besides, maybe I needed a little extra sparkle today.

I actually didn't look half bad, though the changes that Nessa made were minimal. I hoped that I looked good enough for Steve, though the thought seemed so... I don't know. If Steve had asked me out when I didn't have this makeover, then what was the point of dressing up? To impress him, I guess, but with what? The fact that I can put on perfume? Anybody can. Maybe I just didn't get this whole "love" thing. Not yet, at least. My mind wandered to Steve again. Would he look any different for our date? I was so distracted that I forgot to comment on my new look.

"So... what do you think? You like?" Nessa asked, playfully tugging on my freshened-up braid.

"I really do, actually," I said, feeling the top of my head for any imperfections, but nothing was out of place. "You did a really good job."

"Thanks," Nessa beamed, but then ran off somewhere. "But I have one more thing."

I groaned loudly. "Nessa, please, no more. You've done enough for me. Really. Besides, my legs are cramping up from sitting on the floor for so long."

"Oh, don't be silly!" Nessa called back over her shoulder. She began digging around in the bottom most of She's drawers. "You need to take Steve something on your date."

Nessa came back to me holding something secretly behind her back, but she was so small I could already kind of see it behind her, but only the colors. Blood red and dark green, like Christmas.

"What is it?" I asked, even though I was only a second away from the reveal.

"Ta-da!" Nessa cried, and whipped the thing out from behind her back.

I took it with a small gasp. "Where did you find this?" It was a lovely red rose, just the right size for any doll, and perfect in every way. It was already thornless (what a convenience!) with a flexible green stem and rich red petals. It was a beautiful, romantic, flower, almost Beauty and the Beast-esque. 

"It was from the vase on She's dining table downstairs. The month of February has special discounts on 'mini-roses' at the store, and She bought some for decor. I found the smallest one here while walking around one day and thought it would be perfect for something. Something, but I don't know what. And now here I found it! It is for you... to give to Steve."

"You are much too kind, Nessa. But don't you want to keep it for yourself? I'm sure I can get another rose downstairs."

"No, no, no, please. This one was perfect."

"It is very pretty." I admitted sheepishly.

"Then you keep it so Steve can keep it."

"Alright then," There was never any point in arguing with Nessa, was there? "Thanks again."

Nessa touched her chin with her index finger. "But here's the thing. That's a real live mini-rose. So it will probably wilt within a week."

Wow, that was weird. I guess it made sense. But dolls aren't used to death. We're technically immortal until our expiration, or fading, or whatever you would like to call that. But maybe there was a way to make this flower live forever?

"No problem," I said, then closed my eyes and turned on my switch. With only a little magic, I was able to coat the rose bottom to top in a thin, sparkling ice layer. "There. Now it will live forever! I think. At least only until the spell ends."

Nessa gave me a look of amusement. "Your powers are seriously so cool. Now leave, okay! Shoo, shoo! You're gonna be late, be late, for very important date!"
As Nessa trying to pull me off the floor, I protested by saying that neither of us even knew if it was a real date or not. Nessa finally managed to get me up, but wasn't defeated. She said that whatever it was, I'd have to tell her all about it later, no matter what. I promised this to her and went on my way, out of She's room and into the hallway, and then slowly and shaking all the way down the stairs, one hand holding the rose and another against the wall for support.
I had never done anything like this before, I realized that. I was barely... one, two... three or four months old. And while you could say I was emerged from the factory already an adult, I had only as much experience as a child in first year of junior high. Maybe even less, actually. Those kids got to go to school. I had no education myself, and look where I was! My first date. At least, Nessa and I both liked to think it was.
I entered the downstairs level and peeked around the corner. Maybe I'd get a sneak peek to the day ahead. Lucky for me, I did. Steve had set up a small spot by the back door, the same place we had the tea party when She had been gone on vacation for eight days. Things were a bit different, though. Today was sunnier, so the light streaming on from the glass cast a patch of yellow upon the floor, and in that square Steve had set up a formal table setting, though different from the porcelain tea set we often used. there were bigger plates, folded paper napkins, and tall clear cups that looked to be made of glass-like plastic. I was surprised Steve knew where any of this was, or ever thought to actually set up a scene like this one.
Speaking of Steve, I saw him enter back into the house through the glass door. I was surprised to realize that he had been out there the whole time, and now he was back with a snow block in his red-gloved hands. He patted it around a bit, forming a doll-sized snowball, and then placed it right in the middle of the setting as the centerpiece. Aw, had he done that for me? Even though a snowball was simple and I could whip one up without even thinking about it, it was the thought that counted. Steve knew my love of the wintertime and decided to incorporate that into our date... thingy. Unless he couldn't think of anything to put as the centerpiece. My hands clutched the rose. I got an idea. Now I just needed the courage.
Before I could think of anything better, I jumped out from my hiding place in the corner and shouted to get his attention.
"Steve! Hi!" Wow, I sounded like a total fangirl. That was off to a great start. But at least I got what I wanted. Steve looked up from his snowball and waved happily in my direction.
"I set up camp over here!" he said, and then pointed proudly to his work.
I laughed good-naturedly, holding the rose behind my back like Nessa had done before. Wait for the reveal... "I can see that!" I said, and may my way towards Steve.
He had actually done some dressing up himself. To the average eye, one would probably not be able to notice. But I did, every detail. Steve had used a cleaning cloth to shine up his belt and boots. His shield, which was never far from him, lay by his table setting, and it looked to have gotten polished as well. A scuff on his arm from who-knows-what had somehow been smoothed away. He had obviously tried to look his best, and I appreciated that.
"Want me to get the food?" Steve asked, once I was standing right in front of him, almost close enough to feel the tug of two magnets towards each-other, if Juliet's story was really true.
"You brought food?" I asked. Of course he had. What else would the table settings be for?
"Yes. I have some chocolate and croissant, and a new kind of drink I think that you'll like."
"Wow, that's quite a lot," I said. "Thanks for doing all of this."
"No problem. I don't quite think we finished my interview last time, did we?"
I smiled. We had completed every question, and then some. But who was I to argue? "No, I don't believe that we did."
"Great. I'll go get the chocolate first." said Steve, and turned to walk away.

"Wait!" I called, before I could stop myself once more. "I have brought you something." My hands were shaking with nervousness, and I was thankful that my switch wasn't on as I held the frosted flower out in front of me. The ice, so light it was almost invisible, glittered in the sun.

"Well, isn't that fascinating!" Steve exclaimed, taking it gently from me and holding the rose up to the light. "Ice and I have kind of a love-hate relationship. It's so pretty, and I love ice hockey. But at the same time, it's an uncontrollable force of nature. One could get trapped under the ice... cold and dark... for an eternity. They wouldn't be able to age, but years pass, and then, one day, they might wake up and escape the ice, only to find that the world has changed all around them."

"Oh," I said. Was this a good or a bad thing? "Do you like it?"

"I like it a lot," Steve said, turning to me. His eyes, the same color as the dark patches of light blue ice, shone with happiness. Then I had done well. "If it stays preserved like this, I think I'll keep it with me all of the time."

"Good," I said, shining. That was exactly what I had wanted. "I love the set-up, by the way."
Steve returned the smile and invited me to sit down in my place before sticking the mini-rose's firm stem into the snowball. Now it could be a vase. He left me to wait and admire the beauty of it all and vanished from view into the kitchen to get the chocolate.
At my setting, I had been given a plastic plate, larger than what I was used to, (which was nice, since it's hard for a sixteen inch doll to use a one-inch plate) a paper napkin clumsily cut into a small square, and the tall clear glass. I suddenly realized that they were the communion cups She brought home from church on Sundays to be recycled later. Had Steve sifted through the garbage until he found the two best-looking communion cups? I wasn't sure if the act was gross or sweet. I had to at least hope that Steve cleaned the cups out beforehand. Not like we'd actually be drinking the beverage inside, but still.
The best part of the table, though, was the makeshift centerpiece, Steve's last-minute snowball. I had half the mind to place a freezing charm over the snowball, but I didn't want to alter Steve's creation in any way. Even if it was currently melting and would be a puddle on the floor before this brunch was over, I wanted it to stay exactly as Steve had made it.
He returned with great flourish and another big plastic plate. "The appetizer, madame?" he asked, putting a piece of chocolate on my plate. It was different than the other, human-sized chocolate bar we had smelled before. This one was just the perfect size, each square only about a centimeter or two in length. Where had Steve found such a thing? But I didn't think to question it. The smell was delicious and I became distracted by it. This chocolate was richer and heavier than the Hershey one had been.
"So, tell me about yourself." Steve said, when the both of us had a piece on our plate and were sitting down in the warm sunshine, with a great view of the half-snowy yard outside the door.
"Me?" I asked, stopping mid chocolate sniff.
"We didn't get to finish the interview." said Steve, like it was obvious.
"Yes, but I thought you meant yours."
"I would like to interview you this time."
I guffawed, which is not a very attractive nor ladylike thing to do. "Oh, trust me, there's nothing remarkable about me. I'm a doll just like hundreds of my sisters. I wasn't even given a different name from my movie character. I'm just... a copy of an original doll."
"Aren't we all?" asked Steve. He didn't seem to care. "If it makes you feel any better, I got my movie character's name, too. Now tell me something about yourself. Where and when where you found? What's your favorite thing to do? I already know about your powers."
"Well, um, okay... if you insist," I took a deep breath and started my story, right from the beginning. "I was found by She on November 24th. I was brought home and left in my box on her bed, much like you were. I was alone, but then the same day I met Loki and Olaf. They were my first two friends at this house, and as far as I knew, which was only a little at the time, it was just the three of us. We were the only company we had..." I was fascinated how Steve listened to my every word. It's not like everyone else I knew was ignorant, but he seemed to really hear what I had to say, nodding between pauses in my sentences or bits of chocolate.
Well, he eventually got me talking up a storm. He pointed out the snowflakes in my braid when I got to that part in the story of how I was found. His face showed concern when I told him that we thought the house was going to burn down on Thanksgiving. He laughed when I told him about how we had managed to trick Benny into letting us play with the tree when Christmas was still a mystery to us. His eyes sparkled with interest and curiosity, even when I got to rambling about how fun keeping this blog is for me. Was anything imperfect about this guy?
"Main course" was served after we got tired of smelling the chocolate, and Steve brought it over on another plastic plate. This time it was a flaky, buttery, croissant. Yum! Steve told me that he wasn't much of a chef, but he didn't have to me. Leftovers from the human's cupboard were good enough for me. Besides, the way I was talking his ear off for most of the time, I was surprised that he didn't feed me garbage. He just didn't mind the jabber at all.
He did, however, have to pause in the middle of a story. "Hold that thought, if you don't mind. I'm going to get our special drink. Are you done with your plate?"
"Yes," I replied gratefully. "And what is this special drink?"
"Just a little secret between to two of us."
The two of us. There was an us. But had he really meant it, or did it just happen to slip out?
But I don't mind surprises, so I waited until Steve took our plates back into the kitchen and returned with the two of our plastic glasses. They were full of a strange white liquid with a sprinkle of brown powder on top.

Noticing my nose wrinkle in confusion, Steve explained what the mixture was. "It's homemade horchata. It's usually a drink made of rice milk, but I had to work with what She had in the kitchen. There's warm milk, honey, vanilla, and cinnamon."
Those all sounded like promising scents, so I lowered my nose into the cup to take a whiff. Immediately, I was hit with a strong sensation. Warm, glazing, honey. Spicy, exotic cinnamon. Calming, relaxing, steamed milk. But by far the most overpowering scent of them all was the vanilla. It was robust and rich, and far too much went into the cup. I didn't tell Steve that, though.
"It smells delicious, thank you." I said truthfully. But something wasn't right. The vanilla was much too... something. It was making me drowsy and a little sick. Uh-oh. Had Steve used the real vanilla instead of the imitation vanilla? I had learned the difference when making Norwegian butter cookies for Benny that one time, and you did not want to mess with the real vanilla unless you were baking with it on purpose. Because the real vanilla contained alcohol. I mean, I was of age, right? How old was movie Elsa, twenty-one? Theorized? Yes, that was right. But this vanilla was still too much. And I think it began to put me into some sort of a trance.
"How are you not tired?" I demanded, noticing Steve's perfectly fine wide-awake eyes through the failing slits of my own.
"It doesn't affect me," Steve replied, but still he had not smelled any of his horchata yet. "But something will. Elsa. I have to tell you something very important. You're the only person I trust with this sort of thing. I'm just sorry that I had to drug you up for this. I just didn't want you to tell anyone else, and I didn't want you to be too sad once I told you."
At the time I had no idea what this thing could be. Not even the hope of "I love you" crossed my mind. The vanilla smell was so intoxicating that I could think of nothing else but to hold tight to all that was sane. The room appeared to be getting foggy and I felt both of Steve's hands take ahold of mine. A sweet gesture that would have spent my metaphorical doll-heart aflutter had I actually been paying attention.
"Benny will not be going away to the attic this year." Steve began.
I scoffed at the idea. The alcoholic vanilla Steve had purposely slipped in the horchata made me lose all manners. "Of course he isn't going anywhere. He's upstairs under She's bed with Napoleon. No one's going to find him under there."
"No," Steve continued. "No one will. But don't you realize that She is going to notice a weight difference in the Christmas boxes once She packs up the one meant for Benny? He's a nutcracker made of solid wood. Certainly She will notice that one of ornament boxes is lighter than before."
I couldn't look Steve in the eye. Where was he going with this? The world was swirling like the snow, and all I could look at to steady my vision was the snowball centerpiece with the rose inside. It was melting faster now because of the sun, and I was afraid that when it was a complete puddle, my time with Steve would be over.
"Well, I've made up a plan to put myself in Benny's place for year. I feel like I weigh about the same as him. So, come tomorrow, I will have to sneak myself into Benny's box when She is packing up the Christmas tree upstairs. I don't think She will check again to make sure I'm not in there. But it's the right thing to do, Elsa." Steve's tone was serious, but when I finally able to look into his eyes, he was staring right at me, looking like he was ready to cry, could dolls do such a thing.
"I'm so sorry, Elsa. I know She and all of the other dolls are going to miss me terribly, and I will miss everyone, too. But something has to be done to ensure that Benny will be okay. Tomorrow this is all going to happen. You will not see me after this. That's why I arranged this date with you. I wanted to ensure that I saw you one last time, just you and no one else to interfere... I'm just really sorry for all of this," Steve turned away, and then coughed with his mouth closed. "But you probably don't understand any of this right now, do you? It looks like that vanilla took you for quite a spin. You must have a very delicate system."
Steve smiled, though his eyes looked the saddest I had ever seen them, as I tried to nod "yes." But my head, heavy and swimming, instead wobbled this way and that.
"Let's go for a walk, then, shall we? Maybe some light exercise will wake you up a bit. Hopefully when you do, you won't remember any of this. And when you do, don't be too sad, okay? I will return to you within a year, after my time in the attic is done. I promise." Steve brought one of my hands, which he was still holding, to his lips and placed a kiss upon my fingers in a gentlemanly fashion. Even with the muddle of fragrant vanilla intoxicating my system, my entire body buzzed.
"And also, I am entrusting one last thing, along with this secret, to you. It is my shield. I have named it Liberty as a joke," he laughed halfheartedly and picked up his shield off the floor behind him, as if I didn't already know what it looked like. "You will find it outside out She's bedroom tomorrow. Then you will know that I am gone only a minute before. Okay? Do you understand?"
I tried to nod again, even though most of Steve's words only got through an ear and that was as far as they went. My second nod almost resulted in me falling over onto the table setting.
"Woah! Okay. Let's go for that walk now, shall we? Grab onto my arm. We'll just walk some of that vanilla off, okay?"

Not like I had much of a choice in any of this. Steve grabbed his rose and wound the stem around his wrist as a makeshift bracelet and placed his shield into the hole on his back. He latched my right arm through his left arm and began to guide me steadily down the hall and away from the door. I looked back, just once, to see the snowball centerpiece as nothing more than one or two meltwater drops on the floor.

***

I wasn't sure what to tell Nessa the next day. Had my meeting with Steve really been a date? I remembered last night, though my memory wasn't great.
After a lap or two around the first floor, Steve whistled for Sven, who came galumphing down the stairs just to carry me back up so I didn't have to. Sven is such a wonderful and friendly reindeer. It puzzles me how none of us dolls just didn't realize his presence before. But what was even more puzzling was what Steve had told me the day before. The vanilla had really gotten a hold of me, and for the rest of the day I had been completely out of it. I isolated myself in She's room in any way possible, refusing to speak or meet with anyone else but Steve, (who I didn't see again after our meeting) not even bothering to check on Benny and Napoleon under the bed.
So on the morning of the fourth day, the final day of the winter wrap-up, I was awakened by a commotion in the Room She Lives In. Even before I opened my eyes I knew that something was going on.
"Today's the day!" Napoleon hummed cheerfully. I found out he was talking to Magneto later. "The final day of packing up Christmas. Therefore I have decided to show my face in this world once more. Though my brother isn't coming out of his hiding place until midnight. Still superstitious about all of this," I imagined Napoleon shrugging. "Of course, I don't blame the fellow. But, goodness, has everything changed!"
Nothing physically had changed in She's home since the last time Napoleon had seen it. But I suppose if you're forced into a miserable place, lonely and bored, everything looks different when you come outside and you realize that the world his bigger and brighter than the smaller and darker place that where you once were.
But Napoleon hadn't been wrong. Besides finding Sven downstairs, something had changed about the home. And as I yawned and stretched myself awake, finding myself alone on the dresser as usual, the feeling became even more prominent. Something was definitely off. And I didn't like it one bit. I massaged my temples, hoping that recalling yesterday's events would spark something about why today felt important and different than the rest. If only I could remember what Steve had said during our date! And speaking of date...
"So, did the magnets connect?" I heard a sugary-sweet voice ask beneath me. I sat up to see who it was. Nessa riding Sven as Loki had done two days ago, but she was tempting Sven with a dangling carrot in front of his nose.
"Huh?" I asked, my voice struggling to come out after a night of passed-out sleep.
"Oh, this?" Nessa asked, gesturing to Sven's carrot contraption, even though that's not what I had been questioning at all. "It's cool, isn't it? Bell invented it. Sven's already been trained, and pretty good about going where you want him to be. Just a little extra motivation," Nessa let the poor reindeer take a bite before spitting it out again, looking disappointed. "Turns out he loves carrots. Too bad he can't actually eat them, though. But that's not important right now. So, was it a date or not?"
I laid back down and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. "I dunno."
Nessa groaned, making the frustrated "ugh!" way too long a word. "Oh, come on! You've got to have some sort of a clue as to what happened. Yesterday after your date or whatever with Steve, you came upstairs riding Sven, looking like you were at Death's door, and then made some excuse about having to take a nap. So what was it, then? I need to know now!" Nessa hopped off Sven, and sent him away by tossing the carrot contraption out the door. When Sven ran after it, Nessa shut the door behind him, then She clammered ungracefully up the dresser and sat down right next to me.
"I'm gonna ask you again, Queen Elsa. Did the magnets connect?" Nessa spoke slowly, enunciating each word, as if I were a small child just learning to speak, or perhaps just slow-witted. I didn't blame her. I felt very slow-witted myself, even though I was able to walk and sleep off the vanilla scent from yesterday.
I tried to talk Nessa through what happened. The vanilla may have worn off from my system, but my memory was still cloudy. I told her about the giving of the rose, and the snowball centerpiece, and how lovely the table setting looked by the back door as the sun shone through. I told her about how fascinated Steve was with my life's story, and what we had to smell for a meal. Chocolate, croissant, and lastly, the horchata. When Nessa asked what horchata was, I told her its ingredients, but then added how Steve had purposely drugged my the drinks with alcohol vanilla.
"What?" Nessa demanded, outraged that such a thing had happened to her Elsa. "Why for?"
My eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. "Well, I don't know. He said that he had something important to say to me, but then after that, the vanilla took over my mind and it was hard to get anything through to me."
"Well, geez," said Nessa. "No wonder you were so mixed up yesterday. I'll give you a few minutes to think it over. But then when I come back, you had better figure out if it was a real date or not!"
"Okay, no problem." I replied, though I felt it was not going to be that easy. I helped Nessa down from the dresser and she left She's room, shooting me an evil-eyed glare before disappearing out the door.

I rested my head back down on the dresser, trying to organize my visions from yesterday. I felt kind of bad for Nessa, since the "no problem" part had been a lie. Something was wrong. But at the same time, I bitterly wished that she didn't intrude on my life. I folded my arms under my head, hoping a new position would give me more insight.But no such luck.
What had happened yesterday? It was best to start my investigation at the beginning of the day. A small smile was brought to my lips as I saw myself getting a makeover from Nessa. The rebraided hair, the shined-up snowflakes, the brand new ribbon headband, (which I found was still in my hair) all for Steve. Once I went downstairs with the frosty rose in hand, I was greeted by polished-up Steve. We talked for hours on end, so it seemed. About my life, some about his, and we finished with the chocolate and croissant. Then he brought out the horchata. That's the last thing I could remember without a problem. But as I strained my mind to think, harder, harder, I was met with a startling realization that left me struggling for air in She's room refreshing enough to refresh my head.
Steve was gone.
I remembered everything, suddenly, and all too clear. Steve had sacrificed himself, as new as a doll as he still was, to save Benny, who had been around for more years than we all knew. Steve didn't want Benny to spend another lonely year in the attic among the other Christmas decor without his brother, so he put himself in his place. I remembered every word, even when I was affected by the vanilla.
Fueled by remembrance, panic, and sadness, I jumped off the dresser, from a two-to-three foot drop, my knees buckling under me as I still forced myself to run. I shivered, either from the cold or from adrenaline. I grabbed a black cleaning cloth of the floor and wrapped it around my shoulders and head before darting out the door, not even caring if the humans saw me. I didn't know it until later, but that black cloth would become my mourning cloak, fastened at the neck with my bronze star pin Olaf gave me for Christmas.
And there it was, exactly what I had been looking for and what hurt so much to see. The missing Christmas tree and imprints in the carpets where boxes had been, a leftover maroon vacuum. And Steve's shield, cold and alone on the ground, out in the great wide open and waiting for me to pick it up. Which is exactly what I didn't want to do.
"Steve!" I gasped, holding on hand to my aching heart and the other clutching my black cape. "Steve, no!" I ran towards the shield on the ground, my legs prickling with fear.
But it was already too late. Steve was already gone.
He had left his shield and his promise to me.
"And also, I am entrusting one last thing, along with this secret, to you. It is my shield. I have named it Liberty as a joke." he had said, only yesterday. Yesterday, however, Steve was still here. Closer to me than he ever had been, and now, only a day later, he felt more than miles away.
I held tight to Liberty, hugging the shield to my chest in a painful, unliving hug. The makeshift hood to my mourning cloak fell over my face dramatically. Steve was gone. Steve was gone and we were done. That's all I could think of now.

I felt my eyes grow hot and moist, and I obeyed and let the faux tears fall. I don't know how long I stayed there or how long I sobbed. I didn't know if any other dolls or humans were around. But I didn't care. Steve was gone and we were done. While my world was shattering around me, and feeling dark as my mourning cloak, I held only one little glimmer of hope in my doll's heart, my magnet. I had to wait a year until next Christmas, when the boxes would be unpacked again, and then I would find Steve all over again, just as I had done on his finding day.

Mourning Steve's sacrifice,

Queen Elsa