***
About a week ago now, the humans had left town for a bit and there was nothing else to do. I set out for my first priority, which was getting past-due blog posts published. Unfortunate to say is that writing these posts took a lot out of me. My energy, my emotions, my... sanity. I was bored. Oh yes, so very bored. And while I apologize for the fact that February posts from 2015 still need to reach the surface, it's been dreadful to recall and type down everything I remember.So I resulted myself to the second worst possible boredom after forced writing. Checking the news. I used She's laptop for it, of course, and the first result that came up on her news app was actually not about the presidential debates or sad happenings, but a movie release date. Checking the calendar behind me, (She changed hers from the Frozen 2015 one to a 2016 Age of Ultron one this year) I realized that the movie came out today. Friday, May sixth, 2016. But I frowned when I didn't recognize the title. Not that I expected that I would, but Disney's Zootopia and live action Jungle Book are the ones that I do remember being highlights of She's moviegoing trips of this year.
This new movie certainly wasn't Disney. Or perhaps it was? Clicking on the link, my eyes skimmed the super-short article and my confused expression brightened to that of glee. It was a Marvel movie! And I knew just the guys who could explain it to me. And they were closer than I thought.
"Hey, Loki, Magneto, can you guys come over here for a bit?"
Nessa had managed to captivate Loki's attention for long enough to talk his ear off, but Magneto was looking for a welcome respite from her jabber. He had been dragged along for something I like to call "guy support" which is similar to when human girls cannot enter a public restroom alone. He dragged Loki away by the end of his cape. Nessa received a rushed goodbye and before I knew it, the two of them stood waiting my instructions on She's bed, my blogging headquarters.
"Elsa, I cannot thank you enough," Magneto whispered. "That Nessa sure does know how to talk. Too bad I hated every word she said."
Loki kicked Magneto in the shin, light enough to not result in too much pain, but enough to make him fall over and raise his arms in anger like a dead animal. "Be nice," he warned, then turned to me with attentiveness. "Need anything, Elsa?"
"Yeah, actually, I do. I need you and Magneto to explain to me what this is." I turned the laptop around to face them, and it did not even take a second for their mouths to drop open.
"Is that...?" Magneto began, yet never finished.
"Is is!" Loki agreed, a huge smile breaking out on his face. "Civil War came out today!"
"Again, please elaborate? You know, for those of us that don't know the Civil War but anything Napoleon excessively talks about?" I gestured to myself as an example.
Magneto and Loki both took turns explaining to me what "Civil War" meant. It was a Marvel movie featuring Captain America and Iron Man as the main stars. The two of them mostly get along okay except for this one time, where a small disagreement of whether superheros could be regulated by the government or not turns into a full-blown battle between the friends. People must chose their sides for the war. Friendships will be broken, history will be made, and neither one is the villain nor the hero. It's apparently been hyped up since November of last year. Not that I knew that, of course, but I couldn't help but feel excited myself since the both of them were themselves.
"Whose side are you on?" I asked them, knowing that was the real question for all of this.
"I have to side with Cap," Loki explained, taking off his helmet long enough to run his fingers through his long black hair. "I don't think heroes should have to unmask themselves. They need to protect their identity from the public eye and possible enemies."
"Oh, come on, Loki, you should know about that better than anyone! You don't have an alter ego!" I shouted. All of this new Marvel stuff was very confusing to me.
"Do I?" Loki said with a smirk.
"Well, how about you, Magneto? Did you chose a side?"
"Iron Man," he responded almost immediately. "Heroes need to be documented by the government in order to be efficient with their missions."
Loki stood stiff, looking shocked. How dare his friend say this? I knew he couldn't believe the gall Magneto had to pick his enemy's side!
"Uh oh," I said with a nervous giggle. "Do we have our own civil war going on here?"
"Anything but civil." Magneto sneered.
"Do you realize how wrong you are?" Loki challenged, moving his scepter into a fighting position.
"Oh, you want to fight now, don't you? Well then, make your move, reindeer games!"
"Too far!" Loki growled, about to lunge towards Magneto. Fortunately I was able to step in and separate the boys with a giant swoop of my hands. Then I set my tone to soothing, something a sports coach might use for a little league baseball team after losing their first game.
"Woah, woah. Time out, guys. No need to get violent. At least..." I paused to think. "At least not yet. First, if we're going to war, we need to form our teams. We'll have Loki be the leader of Team Captain America and Magneto be the leader of Team Iron Man. I'll go and see if anyone else would like to join."
I hopped down from the bed and delicately made my way to the door. Once I had opened it, I turned behind me to still see Loki and Magneto glaring at each-other.
"Oh, and boys?" I called out over my shoulder. "Don't kill each-other, okay? Save that until we have the proper rules established." And with a swish of my cape and an amused grin, I was gone.
***
It wasn't long before I had a decent group gathered. Of course, I didn't bother to go downstairs, so Benny and Napoleon, as well as a few others, were missing out, but we had an even number of dolls and I wanted to keep it that way, so I figured I would just make "I'm Sorry" cookies for the ones that I snubbed on the war later. Apparently, no one else took this as seriously as Loki and Magneto did. Then again, everyone else was a Disney or Frozen doll (because let's be honest, Frozen has become separate from Disney and is now its own fandom) like me. I had Dorothy and Bell, who were equally as bored as I and looking to do something, Olaf and Idina, who thought it would be fun, and Nessarose, who I'm sure just wanted to spend some time with Loki.
"Okay, Avengers," I said, pacing in front of the group and feeling quite proud of myself and extremely silly at the same time. Who was I to be using Marvel lingo? "Are we assembled?"
"What does that mean?" Dorothy whispered to Bell. Bell just shrugged at her in return.
"Now I know that we may look like a ragtag band of misfits, in the nicest way possible, of course, but you have to understand that Loki and Magneto are taking this matter very seriously. A bit too seriously, if you ask me, but that is not my position to say. So we must prepare each and every one of you..." I lowered my eyelids dramatically for the effect. "For WAR."
At the time I guess I didn't realize how hopeless all of this was. This cast of colorful characters may have been thinking a lot of things, but one of those things was definitely no where near or ever would be near the idea of war. That meant splitting us into teams and having to fight each-other. Not a good thing to do at all. We were family, and we had to live together whether we liked it or not, so it was best to put our differences behind us and chose not to fight. But that was upon reflection. In that moment all I was focused on what turning these guys into hardened, merciless fighters. Just for a day, of course, but I had promised Magneto and Loki that I would do this for them while they planned out their battle strategies.
Nessa eagerly raised her hand, but did not wait for me to call on her. "Do we get uniforms that correspond to our selected team?"
At the time I guess I didn't realize how hopeless all of this was. This cast of colorful characters may have been thinking a lot of things, but one of those things was definitely no where near or ever would be near the idea of war. That meant splitting us into teams and having to fight each-other. Not a good thing to do at all. We were family, and we had to live together whether we liked it or not, so it was best to put our differences behind us and chose not to fight. But that was upon reflection. In that moment all I was focused on what turning these guys into hardened, merciless fighters. Just for a day, of course, but I had promised Magneto and Loki that I would do this for them while they planned out their battle strategies.
Nessa eagerly raised her hand, but did not wait for me to call on her. "Do we get uniforms that correspond to our selected team?"
Olaf leaned over and whispered to Idina, "What about war paint; those black stripes on our cheeks?" Again, just a shrug to reply.
"No, we don't get any uniforms or war paint, but that is a good idea. Instead we get these." I took what I had been holding behind my back and held it up to the crowd.
"A paper snowball?" Idina shrieked. She wasn't wrong. I had prepared a large pile of crumbled up pieces of computer/printer, paper snowballs, before addressing the team.
"We wouldn't want to actually hurt anyone, would we? Just jostle them around a bit. Now we need three dolls per team. Sven can be our cheerleader. Here are the teams you must chose. Loki is on team Captain America, who wants the Avengers to be free. Magneto is on team Iron Man, who wants the Avengers to be secure. You can pick which side you want to be on, but remember you have to have approval first."
Nessa groaned and slumped down into the floor. "This is boring."
"Maybe to you, but not to them. We have to pretend, at the very least, that we agree with Loki and Magneto, whatever team we're on. Are we ready?"
A few murmurs and the shuffling of lazy feet, and the crowd divided themselves into teams. I wasn't surprised with the outcome. Nessa gravitated towards' Captain America's team, probably looking to spend some time with Loki. It didn't look like she actually cared about the war at all. Bell and Dorothy were with her.
"I have to be on the same team as Bell," said Dorothy. "I don't ever want to fight my best friend."
Bell touched Dorothy's arm gently. "Nor I to you, but we have to remember that there are no hard feelings here. It's just a game we're playing in celebration of a new Marvel movie. Right, Elsa?" Bell looked up at me so expectantly and so on edge that I could not say no to her.
"Of course," I lied, biting my bottom lip with worry. "No hard feelings here at all."
On the other team were the leftover dolls, being Olaf and Idina. (who were just as inseparable as Dorothy and Bell.) They were team Iron Man with Magneto, and seeing as we needed an even number, I put myself down for being with them as well. Besides, I had to agree with his plan. Freedom may be good and all, but freedom comes with a cost. Maybe even people's lives. It was better to be safe than sorry. Sorry for something you didn't even mean to do. So I decided I quite liked being with Magneto's team.
Once we were done deciding, I lead the dolls to out battleground, which was really the floor of She's bedroom with a clear invisible line of division between Loki and Magneto. The teams gathered around their leaders, some looking a little nervous, while others jumped up and down in excitement. Those dolls probably didn't realize how serious Loki and Magneto were really taking this, and thought it was just going to be a fun little game where we throw paper balls at each-other. In real war, they would die. The fearful ones, though having more of a chance in real life, clearly did not want to fight their friends.
"I, Loki, leader of Captain America's team, declare a civil war upon Iron Man's team." Loki said, standing steady and strong.
"I, Magneto, leader of Iron Man's team, declare a civil war upon Captain America's team." Magneto echoed.
Something told me that things didn't quite go down like this in the movie. But how was I, a Disney doll to know, when Loki and Magneto didn't even though the outcome of the movie, which was in their own universe? Magneto was from X-Men, I suppose, so he got an excuse. And Loki was in Avengers and the Thor movies, but never even appeared in this one. Or so the new article I read this morning told me.
Once both team leaders had officially declared war upon the leader, Sven, who was standing out of the way, grunted loudly to signal a start.
Then the war began.
I wouldn't call it brutal, because it was just paper balls. No matter how hard any of us tried or what we did, we all got pelted with the paper snowballs eventually, even little timid Idina. But they barely even hurt. Plus most of us were small, not even above the five inch mark. I, being on Magneto's team, who was the shortest of us all, felt valuable in a way. I could hold the most, and the biggest, paper balls, which meant I could chuck them over to the other side of the bedroom floor and squash a hapless, smaller doll. But that also meant I got hit often. Extremely often. I was the biggest, most obvious target. And Nessa was a surprisingly strong thrower. That didn't always mean she knew how to direct the paper balls, but the few occasions that she did stung. I swear, if I wasn't wearing a long-sleeved maxi dress to hide most of my skin, I would be covered in painful bruises. Then again, I didn't even know if dolls could get bruises. We didn't have any blood in us, obviously. I tried to clear my mind of useless thoughts and focus on the war.
Magneto and Loki mostly took to trying to hit each-other, scowling and acting like a little wad of paper wasn't going to hold them down at all. At one point they crossed the invisible boundary to fight for real in scepter-to-hand combat. Loki kept waving his scepter at me, since I was second in command on Magneto's team. I was sure that he was trying to get across different signals that were plans of attack for his team to come and attack me, obviously the biggest threat, but he never actually just to finish them before Magneto tried to scratch him to death. It looks hard to do when you're wearing tiny purple gloves. Nevertheless, the both of them acted brave and determined, eager to see the other one fail.
Idina, who was clearly not one for war, or any sort of fighting or violence at all, really, mostly hid behind Olaf the entire time, peeking her head out every once and I while just to squeal and duck behind him again whenever a paper ball was thrown over to our side. Olaf, being as loyal as ever, protected Idina happily. He didn't seem to be minded by the paper balls at all. He was the second biggest after me and constantly kept getting it, but most of them just bounced right off his fluffy body and ricocheted back to the other team's side. The times that Idina did stand in front of him, she never left Olaf's side.
Dorothy barely fought during the war. Toto barked at some people on Iron Man's side, catching a few of us off guard, but we weren't really threatened by a little brown terrier in a wicker basket. Bell seemed a valuable member of the other team, though, as she became a great spy. She was the only one out of any of the dolls that were able to fly. Albeit for not very long, though, as her wings were made of plastic and not gossamer or membranes like really insect/fairy wings are. But her thirteen seconds of flight were useful, as she could get the latest scoop on our next plan of attack. She could even fly over a bundle of the paper balls in her arms and drop them down on us, leaving us disoriented for a few seconds so the other team had the advantage. She kept getting supplies from Dorothy, who was hoarding a stash of paper snowballs in her basket, Toto now kept in her other arm's crook.
Finally Magneto had enough of this. "No using magic or powers of any kind, got that?" he screamed, over his own rapid attempts to pin Loki down. Loki was fending him off with his scepter like a martial arts staff.
I cursed under my breath, something I had never actually done, but this war, as harmless as it was, seemed to be bringing out the dangerous side of me. I had a secret weapon hidden, which I had been planning for the end of the war, when Captain America's team got too exhausted. I had made some special snowballs in a pile just for us, which Sven was now guarding. Some of them I had given a blast of ice for extra strength and density, and some I had stored little bits of metal, like paper clips or She's earrings on the inside, so Magneto could manipulate them with his powers (if he actually had any, I wasn't sure, though I guessed he did) and drive them to hit members of the other team.
But now using powers was considered cheating. Not like anyone had actually been using them before, unless Bell's wings counted as magic, and now even she was rendered unable to use them. I was a little grumpy, but figured that one rule couldn't hold my team down from success. I ran off the battlefield and to the side of She's bed, making sure no one was following me. Then I reached underneath the bedskirt and pulled out the secret weapon no one else in my team actually knew about.
I had named him Marshmallow, after the snow monster Elsa creates to defend her and her castle in my movie. But the secret weapon wasn't really anything like a marshmallow at all. It wasn't soft, or chewy, and it probably didn't taste good being made of paper. Earlier, when Sven was helping me prepare for the battle by tearing sheets of notebook paper into tiny strips, I formed all of them into spheres with my hands. That's how I was able to leave some with ice and metal in them. I made the majority of the balls small and light, easy to throw for the little ones. And by little ones, I meant everyone except Olaf and me. And I already knew Olaf wasn't going to be much help on the team. So I made one extra snowball just for me, one that took two hands to hold properly. It was huge. It was heavy. And it was how my team was going to win.
"Elsa? What are you doing?" I heard a voice behind me. It was Nessa who had somehow been able to sneak away to see what I was doing without me noticing.
I jumped, quickly turning away with Marshmallow in my hands, trying to prevent Nessa from seeing it. "Nothing, Nessa. Just taking a break. What are you doing here?"
Nessa's left eyebrow few up in an unamused fashion. "Loki sent me to spy on you. So I am."
"Well, I'm going back in to fight, but you can stay here if you want." I said. Please stay here. I begged internally. That way you won't be able to tell Loki what you obviously saw me carrying.
"And what, may I ask, are you going to be fighting with?" Nessa called out behind me. She was definitely on to me.
"Paper snowballs, what else?" I lied. It was too late to go back into hiding behind the bed now, because I was out on the ground again, and both teams had paused their fighting and throwing to witness the giantess carrying the giant paperball out onto the field.
Loki stopped defending himself from Magneto's attacks, his mouth agape with shock and anger. Bell, who had been prohibited from flying, could only stomp around on her side and yell, "Cheater! Cheater!" Dorothy just looked vaguely worried. Nessa had appeared back on her side again, quick as a flash, arms crossed and whispering something to Loki, who was too dumbstruck to actually hear anything that she said.
On my team, Magneto's vengeful scowl rose into a triumphant grin. "Elsa! Elsa!" he cried along with Bell's contradicting screams, pumping his fist not holding onto Loki's collar in the air. Olaf clapped like he had just witnessed a wonderful show, and Idina came out of her hiding place long enough for new-found hope to wash the fear out of her eyes.
"Alright, Cap's team!" I yelled, my voice booming around the room. I could never remember feeling so powerful, so huge. It was a feeling that could probably be the end of me in the right, or wrong, situation, and it was scary to realize that I was actually experiencing that emotion. "Surrender or face the fury of the Snow Queen!"
"Umm..." I heard Loki mutter. He was clearly out of ideas. Which gave me an idea of my own.
Take out the leader, and the whole team will fall. Or so I figured. I wasn't sure where I had heard that quote before, if I had ever even heard it at all, but it was thundering around in my head and I couldn't ignore it, so I went with my gut and chucked the snowball to the other side with all of my might. I knew it was nearly the same size and weight as Loki. And if I aimed careful enough, I could get him to fall and get crushed by the snowball. Nobody on his team was strong or big enough to help him out, and they would have no choice but surrender to my team.
Everyone's eyes watched, as the paper ball, which was not actually in slow motion like I had kind of expected it to be, took out Loki. I jumped up excitedly. I had done it! First try, and I hit the target with my secret weapon! But after Marshmallow had knocked him over, Loki rolled out the way, clutching his helmet on one hand and his scepter in the other. He looked a little shaken, but perfectly fine and not at all crushed by Marshmallow.
He turned to me, a look of fear in his eye that fueled me at the time, but later, when the image still appeared fresh in my mind, I never wanted to see anyone look at me that way again.
"Where's Magneto?" Olaf said, voice wavering.
Immediately Loki jumped up and slammed his helmet back on, then began to pace around and search for the key-chain. Nessa began to help him, too, and when the other members of my team ran over, too, the sense of dread within me was like drowning.
Take out the leader, and the whole team will fall.
I stayed back from the mess I had made. I tried to remember the last place I seen Magneto. It was when Loki was trying to push him away with great annoyance. Magneto had been standing on his chest, with one hand grabbing the collar of his shirt and the other drawn back, ready to punch. Then, after I had thrown Marshmallow with all of my might, I had hit Loki, knocking him down, but still safe and unharmed. So that must have meant... I hit Magneto! My heart, had I a real one like humans do, sped up. If I had made that paper ball big enough to crush Loki underneath it, then Magneto must certainly be in a much worse state than Loki would have been.
Feeling this whole thing was my fault, I ran over to the other side and quickly lifted Marshmallow, what the other dolls had been struggling to pick up. Underneath lay Magneto, who had turned over in his back, arms and legs spread out like someone trying to get a nice tan on the beach. Or someone just murdered in a crime scene.
A crime scene. Images from two Christmases ago, when we were afraid Napoleon had blinked out of existence and not just had amnesia, flashed before my eyes. Was it possible that I had really killed him? Napoleon's near-death experience had been an accident. This time, if it was really true, I was responsible for a doll's death. And yes, I don't dolls can't really die. But they can fade away. Dolls that are really old or damaged beyond repair might lose the ability to come to life. And those that do fade never come back.
Idina rushed forward and immediately began to examine the fallen hero. Well, maybe Magneto was an anti-hero. We gave Idina space to do her work. Bustling around like a little nurse in a blue dress, she lifted the limbs, felt for head trauma, and pressed her ear against his back.
"He got the wind knocked out of him, but he's still breathing," she confirmed. At once, everyone else in the room let out a relieved breath of their own. "No visible damage that I noticed. Nothing is broken either. I think he should live."
"Will he be paralyzed?" Loki asked.
Idina cocked her pretty head to the side, as if listening for a sound that wasn't there. All of the dolls were quiet with anticipation. "I can't tell for sure. But I would hope not. If he does, it would probably only be in the legs, since that is where Elsa's snowball hit."
"I'm sorry!" I cried, feeling just about ready to erupt into tears. "I didn't mean to... I was aiming for Loki, you see, and I made the snowball specifically to not injure Loki, just to hold him down a bit from throwing snowballs at me..."
Nessa tugged on the skirt of my dress. "Elsa, it's not your fault, really. Sure, maybe you shouldn't have made a freaking giant paper snowball, but you didn't mean to do any of this."
"Besides," said Idina matter-of-factually, "If he sustains any paralysis, all we have to do is make him ride Sven around for a while. A week or two, maybe, and only when the humans are gone. Any other time of the day She has him laying in his bed up on the dresser. He's a doll, and if he's paralyzed, it won't be forever."
"War is stupid." Olaf muttered quietly.
"Even it's not intended to hurt anyone," Loki sighed. "Even if it was just a game. Magneto and I may have had our disagreements in the past, and literally one that started all of this a half an hour ago, but it's not worth any of this."
"Idina, where on earth did you learn doctoring skills like that?" Nessa questioned, trying to lighten the mood.
Idina blushed in gratitude. "Where I came from, dolls were constantly falling off of their shelves. I was closest to the ground and would always been the one to go and see if they were okay. I knew what to check for and how to define the results of their fall, and then get them back to health before they were found and sold. No human wants a broken doll, after all. It was a skill I had to learn myself, but was never taught."
"Well, you're clearly very practiced," said Nessa. "Those skills definitely came in handy today."
Loki sighed again. "Yep. We'll get you back, buddy, don't worry. Why don't we just call this war a truce for now?" He bent down and patted Magneto's back awkwardly, like how some of us pat Sven on the head after we ride him around.
When that happened, Magneto's left arm, the one closest to Loki, shot up and grabbed into his wrist. "Ool me urp."
Loki held back a laugh, both relieved and amused. "Come again?"
"OOL ME URP!"
"Pull him up!" said Idina, translating face-shoved-into-the-ground speak.
Magneto was dizzy but still seemed his usual, grumpy keychain self as he steadied him to stand and called over Sven so Magneto could lean against the reindeer and take things slow for a while. Idina told him what had happened and that he would be just fine.
Magneto shot a glare my way that I was too happy to return. "I know exactly what happened," he grumbled. "And I know I'm okay. You don't have to explain to me things I already know."
"Well, we're glad you're back. But the war should still be called off. We can't stand another injury like that." Nessa decided.
But Magneto was having none of that. He would never surrender, and insisted that we all go back to fighting on our respective team's sides. We were able to convince him to rest a bit with Sven while we took a break from fighting. Loki didn't seem to give a care about the war at all anymore. I think he was just happy to have his friend back. He spent most of break time conversing with the keychain and giving Sven belly rubs. That meant Olaf, Idina, Bell, Dorothy, Nessa, and I, had to find something else to do.
I started by cleaning the area of paper snowballs and setting them in another doll-sized wicker basket I fund (how many of those does She have?!) and setting them aside. Bell and Dorothy redid each-other's hair and traded hairstyles, Dorothy receiving Bell's high bun and Bell getting curly pigtails which did not look the greatest on her. I'm glad Disney decided not to give their version of Tinker Bell pigtails. Bored, I mostly complimented Idina on a job well done with that whole nurse thing and displaying my ice magic, creating only very small things because Olaf wanted to see me do so. I only created very small things, like tinkling ice windchimes or delicate frost flowers, because I was secretly still paranoid of hurting another doll.
At first, Magneto was annoyed that we were goofing around instead of trying to crush the enemy, but eventually things loosened up as we figured war was silly and not worth playing anymore. Break time ran into "war time" and nobody seemed to mind. With our differences forgotten for the time being, yet never addressed, we starting to play around and have fun. Loki (who had returned to the group) and Nessa took turns trying to shoot paper balls through Sven's outstretched antlers like a goal post, which proved to be a difficult task, as the reindeer was constantly trying to catch the paper balls in his mouth, thinking they were food. Bell was allowed to use her wings again and took turns giving the smaller ones flights about the room just for the fun of it. I sat with Magneto, apologizing profusely, and then went to She's bookshelf and brought out a search-and-find book.
"I figured you should be having fun, too," I said quietly. "Even if you can't actually be getting up and running about like the other for a while."
Magneto sighed, resting his chin in his hands. I could tell he was not going to be happy about taking things slow for the next one or two weeks. "I know you were just trying to help, Elsa. I'm glad you were on my team. Were, since the war is over, I guess. Wish we had some resolution, though."
"Hey, cheer up. We don't need to fight just because some of us have differing opinions."
"Maybe so," Magneto agreed reluctantly. "But he started it."
I let myself smirk. "Sure he did."
Magneto and I worked on a few pages of the search-and-find book, remaining quiet and in slight frustration. Why did they need us to find six strawberries? Why not just one strawberry?
"You know, I heard She might be going out to see the movie sometime this week."
Magneto's head lifted off his hands. "Are you serious?"
"I think so. The humans were discussing it downstairs during lunch. They're probably going to see it when we get to the weekend. Sunday sounds about right."
Magneto chuckled. "Happy Mother's Day." he muttered sarcastically.
We joked about how the humans were going to see a PG-13 superhero action movie instead of doing something typical of Mother's Day, like going on a walk in the garden or eating salad. Since dolls don't have mothers, we had little idea of what Mother's Day really was. But I was thinking little of the subject, because joking around meant Magneto was going to be okay. The weight of guilt lifted off my shoulders.
We hung out for the rest of the day until the humans came home. After the ordeal, I had a relaxing hour by myself with nothing but She's leftover mug of country peach tea and her laptop. I was feeling inspired, so I created another collage on Paint of the teams. I think it looks quite dramatic. I did not include a picture of Sven here, seeing as he was neutral. Or maybe he wasn't, but we don't speak reindeer. I guess I could have put him down for Team Black Widow, but (cough cough spoilers cough cough) from what I heard She say, Black Widow was not a neutral, but sided with Iron Man at first and then gave in and had to help out her good old friend Captain America. Sven was not a traitor in our reenactment that I knew of.
So have any of you guys seen the movie yet? Well, the post is almost over anyway, so I hope you have. Or if you have no interest in seeing it, then I hope you enjoyed in interesting story that I had to tell. I'm sure war in real life is not nearly as fun as a goofy paper snowball fight. But if you have seen it, what did you think? Feel free to leave me some comments, spoilers included, as I probably never will get to view the film. But who knows? She did actually see the movie on Sunday and loves it. Maybe She will buy the disc when it comes out after its showing in the theaters. And maybe I'll eventually get to see it. And what an interesting night that will be!
"A paper snowball?" Idina shrieked. She wasn't wrong. I had prepared a large pile of crumbled up pieces of computer/printer, paper snowballs, before addressing the team.
"We wouldn't want to actually hurt anyone, would we? Just jostle them around a bit. Now we need three dolls per team. Sven can be our cheerleader. Here are the teams you must chose. Loki is on team Captain America, who wants the Avengers to be free. Magneto is on team Iron Man, who wants the Avengers to be secure. You can pick which side you want to be on, but remember you have to have approval first."
Nessa groaned and slumped down into the floor. "This is boring."
"Maybe to you, but not to them. We have to pretend, at the very least, that we agree with Loki and Magneto, whatever team we're on. Are we ready?"
A few murmurs and the shuffling of lazy feet, and the crowd divided themselves into teams. I wasn't surprised with the outcome. Nessa gravitated towards' Captain America's team, probably looking to spend some time with Loki. It didn't look like she actually cared about the war at all. Bell and Dorothy were with her.
"I have to be on the same team as Bell," said Dorothy. "I don't ever want to fight my best friend."
Bell touched Dorothy's arm gently. "Nor I to you, but we have to remember that there are no hard feelings here. It's just a game we're playing in celebration of a new Marvel movie. Right, Elsa?" Bell looked up at me so expectantly and so on edge that I could not say no to her.
"Of course," I lied, biting my bottom lip with worry. "No hard feelings here at all."
On the other team were the leftover dolls, being Olaf and Idina. (who were just as inseparable as Dorothy and Bell.) They were team Iron Man with Magneto, and seeing as we needed an even number, I put myself down for being with them as well. Besides, I had to agree with his plan. Freedom may be good and all, but freedom comes with a cost. Maybe even people's lives. It was better to be safe than sorry. Sorry for something you didn't even mean to do. So I decided I quite liked being with Magneto's team.
Once we were done deciding, I lead the dolls to out battleground, which was really the floor of She's bedroom with a clear invisible line of division between Loki and Magneto. The teams gathered around their leaders, some looking a little nervous, while others jumped up and down in excitement. Those dolls probably didn't realize how serious Loki and Magneto were really taking this, and thought it was just going to be a fun little game where we throw paper balls at each-other. In real war, they would die. The fearful ones, though having more of a chance in real life, clearly did not want to fight their friends.
"I, Loki, leader of Captain America's team, declare a civil war upon Iron Man's team." Loki said, standing steady and strong.
"I, Magneto, leader of Iron Man's team, declare a civil war upon Captain America's team." Magneto echoed.
Something told me that things didn't quite go down like this in the movie. But how was I, a Disney doll to know, when Loki and Magneto didn't even though the outcome of the movie, which was in their own universe? Magneto was from X-Men, I suppose, so he got an excuse. And Loki was in Avengers and the Thor movies, but never even appeared in this one. Or so the new article I read this morning told me.
Once both team leaders had officially declared war upon the leader, Sven, who was standing out of the way, grunted loudly to signal a start.
Then the war began.
I wouldn't call it brutal, because it was just paper balls. No matter how hard any of us tried or what we did, we all got pelted with the paper snowballs eventually, even little timid Idina. But they barely even hurt. Plus most of us were small, not even above the five inch mark. I, being on Magneto's team, who was the shortest of us all, felt valuable in a way. I could hold the most, and the biggest, paper balls, which meant I could chuck them over to the other side of the bedroom floor and squash a hapless, smaller doll. But that also meant I got hit often. Extremely often. I was the biggest, most obvious target. And Nessa was a surprisingly strong thrower. That didn't always mean she knew how to direct the paper balls, but the few occasions that she did stung. I swear, if I wasn't wearing a long-sleeved maxi dress to hide most of my skin, I would be covered in painful bruises. Then again, I didn't even know if dolls could get bruises. We didn't have any blood in us, obviously. I tried to clear my mind of useless thoughts and focus on the war.
Magneto and Loki mostly took to trying to hit each-other, scowling and acting like a little wad of paper wasn't going to hold them down at all. At one point they crossed the invisible boundary to fight for real in scepter-to-hand combat. Loki kept waving his scepter at me, since I was second in command on Magneto's team. I was sure that he was trying to get across different signals that were plans of attack for his team to come and attack me, obviously the biggest threat, but he never actually just to finish them before Magneto tried to scratch him to death. It looks hard to do when you're wearing tiny purple gloves. Nevertheless, the both of them acted brave and determined, eager to see the other one fail.
Idina, who was clearly not one for war, or any sort of fighting or violence at all, really, mostly hid behind Olaf the entire time, peeking her head out every once and I while just to squeal and duck behind him again whenever a paper ball was thrown over to our side. Olaf, being as loyal as ever, protected Idina happily. He didn't seem to be minded by the paper balls at all. He was the second biggest after me and constantly kept getting it, but most of them just bounced right off his fluffy body and ricocheted back to the other team's side. The times that Idina did stand in front of him, she never left Olaf's side.
Dorothy barely fought during the war. Toto barked at some people on Iron Man's side, catching a few of us off guard, but we weren't really threatened by a little brown terrier in a wicker basket. Bell seemed a valuable member of the other team, though, as she became a great spy. She was the only one out of any of the dolls that were able to fly. Albeit for not very long, though, as her wings were made of plastic and not gossamer or membranes like really insect/fairy wings are. But her thirteen seconds of flight were useful, as she could get the latest scoop on our next plan of attack. She could even fly over a bundle of the paper balls in her arms and drop them down on us, leaving us disoriented for a few seconds so the other team had the advantage. She kept getting supplies from Dorothy, who was hoarding a stash of paper snowballs in her basket, Toto now kept in her other arm's crook.
Finally Magneto had enough of this. "No using magic or powers of any kind, got that?" he screamed, over his own rapid attempts to pin Loki down. Loki was fending him off with his scepter like a martial arts staff.
I cursed under my breath, something I had never actually done, but this war, as harmless as it was, seemed to be bringing out the dangerous side of me. I had a secret weapon hidden, which I had been planning for the end of the war, when Captain America's team got too exhausted. I had made some special snowballs in a pile just for us, which Sven was now guarding. Some of them I had given a blast of ice for extra strength and density, and some I had stored little bits of metal, like paper clips or She's earrings on the inside, so Magneto could manipulate them with his powers (if he actually had any, I wasn't sure, though I guessed he did) and drive them to hit members of the other team.
But now using powers was considered cheating. Not like anyone had actually been using them before, unless Bell's wings counted as magic, and now even she was rendered unable to use them. I was a little grumpy, but figured that one rule couldn't hold my team down from success. I ran off the battlefield and to the side of She's bed, making sure no one was following me. Then I reached underneath the bedskirt and pulled out the secret weapon no one else in my team actually knew about.
I had named him Marshmallow, after the snow monster Elsa creates to defend her and her castle in my movie. But the secret weapon wasn't really anything like a marshmallow at all. It wasn't soft, or chewy, and it probably didn't taste good being made of paper. Earlier, when Sven was helping me prepare for the battle by tearing sheets of notebook paper into tiny strips, I formed all of them into spheres with my hands. That's how I was able to leave some with ice and metal in them. I made the majority of the balls small and light, easy to throw for the little ones. And by little ones, I meant everyone except Olaf and me. And I already knew Olaf wasn't going to be much help on the team. So I made one extra snowball just for me, one that took two hands to hold properly. It was huge. It was heavy. And it was how my team was going to win.
I jumped, quickly turning away with Marshmallow in my hands, trying to prevent Nessa from seeing it. "Nothing, Nessa. Just taking a break. What are you doing here?"
Nessa's left eyebrow few up in an unamused fashion. "Loki sent me to spy on you. So I am."
"Well, I'm going back in to fight, but you can stay here if you want." I said. Please stay here. I begged internally. That way you won't be able to tell Loki what you obviously saw me carrying.
"And what, may I ask, are you going to be fighting with?" Nessa called out behind me. She was definitely on to me.
"Paper snowballs, what else?" I lied. It was too late to go back into hiding behind the bed now, because I was out on the ground again, and both teams had paused their fighting and throwing to witness the giantess carrying the giant paperball out onto the field.
Loki stopped defending himself from Magneto's attacks, his mouth agape with shock and anger. Bell, who had been prohibited from flying, could only stomp around on her side and yell, "Cheater! Cheater!" Dorothy just looked vaguely worried. Nessa had appeared back on her side again, quick as a flash, arms crossed and whispering something to Loki, who was too dumbstruck to actually hear anything that she said.
On my team, Magneto's vengeful scowl rose into a triumphant grin. "Elsa! Elsa!" he cried along with Bell's contradicting screams, pumping his fist not holding onto Loki's collar in the air. Olaf clapped like he had just witnessed a wonderful show, and Idina came out of her hiding place long enough for new-found hope to wash the fear out of her eyes.
"Alright, Cap's team!" I yelled, my voice booming around the room. I could never remember feeling so powerful, so huge. It was a feeling that could probably be the end of me in the right, or wrong, situation, and it was scary to realize that I was actually experiencing that emotion. "Surrender or face the fury of the Snow Queen!"
"Umm..." I heard Loki mutter. He was clearly out of ideas. Which gave me an idea of my own.
Take out the leader, and the whole team will fall. Or so I figured. I wasn't sure where I had heard that quote before, if I had ever even heard it at all, but it was thundering around in my head and I couldn't ignore it, so I went with my gut and chucked the snowball to the other side with all of my might. I knew it was nearly the same size and weight as Loki. And if I aimed careful enough, I could get him to fall and get crushed by the snowball. Nobody on his team was strong or big enough to help him out, and they would have no choice but surrender to my team.
Everyone's eyes watched, as the paper ball, which was not actually in slow motion like I had kind of expected it to be, took out Loki. I jumped up excitedly. I had done it! First try, and I hit the target with my secret weapon! But after Marshmallow had knocked him over, Loki rolled out the way, clutching his helmet on one hand and his scepter in the other. He looked a little shaken, but perfectly fine and not at all crushed by Marshmallow.
He turned to me, a look of fear in his eye that fueled me at the time, but later, when the image still appeared fresh in my mind, I never wanted to see anyone look at me that way again.
"Where's Magneto?" Olaf said, voice wavering.
Immediately Loki jumped up and slammed his helmet back on, then began to pace around and search for the key-chain. Nessa began to help him, too, and when the other members of my team ran over, too, the sense of dread within me was like drowning.
Take out the leader, and the whole team will fall.
I stayed back from the mess I had made. I tried to remember the last place I seen Magneto. It was when Loki was trying to push him away with great annoyance. Magneto had been standing on his chest, with one hand grabbing the collar of his shirt and the other drawn back, ready to punch. Then, after I had thrown Marshmallow with all of my might, I had hit Loki, knocking him down, but still safe and unharmed. So that must have meant... I hit Magneto! My heart, had I a real one like humans do, sped up. If I had made that paper ball big enough to crush Loki underneath it, then Magneto must certainly be in a much worse state than Loki would have been.
Feeling this whole thing was my fault, I ran over to the other side and quickly lifted Marshmallow, what the other dolls had been struggling to pick up. Underneath lay Magneto, who had turned over in his back, arms and legs spread out like someone trying to get a nice tan on the beach. Or someone just murdered in a crime scene.
A crime scene. Images from two Christmases ago, when we were afraid Napoleon had blinked out of existence and not just had amnesia, flashed before my eyes. Was it possible that I had really killed him? Napoleon's near-death experience had been an accident. This time, if it was really true, I was responsible for a doll's death. And yes, I don't dolls can't really die. But they can fade away. Dolls that are really old or damaged beyond repair might lose the ability to come to life. And those that do fade never come back.
Idina rushed forward and immediately began to examine the fallen hero. Well, maybe Magneto was an anti-hero. We gave Idina space to do her work. Bustling around like a little nurse in a blue dress, she lifted the limbs, felt for head trauma, and pressed her ear against his back.
"He got the wind knocked out of him, but he's still breathing," she confirmed. At once, everyone else in the room let out a relieved breath of their own. "No visible damage that I noticed. Nothing is broken either. I think he should live."
"Will he be paralyzed?" Loki asked.
Idina cocked her pretty head to the side, as if listening for a sound that wasn't there. All of the dolls were quiet with anticipation. "I can't tell for sure. But I would hope not. If he does, it would probably only be in the legs, since that is where Elsa's snowball hit."
"I'm sorry!" I cried, feeling just about ready to erupt into tears. "I didn't mean to... I was aiming for Loki, you see, and I made the snowball specifically to not injure Loki, just to hold him down a bit from throwing snowballs at me..."
Nessa tugged on the skirt of my dress. "Elsa, it's not your fault, really. Sure, maybe you shouldn't have made a freaking giant paper snowball, but you didn't mean to do any of this."
"Besides," said Idina matter-of-factually, "If he sustains any paralysis, all we have to do is make him ride Sven around for a while. A week or two, maybe, and only when the humans are gone. Any other time of the day She has him laying in his bed up on the dresser. He's a doll, and if he's paralyzed, it won't be forever."
"War is stupid." Olaf muttered quietly.
"Even it's not intended to hurt anyone," Loki sighed. "Even if it was just a game. Magneto and I may have had our disagreements in the past, and literally one that started all of this a half an hour ago, but it's not worth any of this."
"Idina, where on earth did you learn doctoring skills like that?" Nessa questioned, trying to lighten the mood.
Idina blushed in gratitude. "Where I came from, dolls were constantly falling off of their shelves. I was closest to the ground and would always been the one to go and see if they were okay. I knew what to check for and how to define the results of their fall, and then get them back to health before they were found and sold. No human wants a broken doll, after all. It was a skill I had to learn myself, but was never taught."
"Well, you're clearly very practiced," said Nessa. "Those skills definitely came in handy today."
Loki sighed again. "Yep. We'll get you back, buddy, don't worry. Why don't we just call this war a truce for now?" He bent down and patted Magneto's back awkwardly, like how some of us pat Sven on the head after we ride him around.
When that happened, Magneto's left arm, the one closest to Loki, shot up and grabbed into his wrist. "Ool me urp."
Loki held back a laugh, both relieved and amused. "Come again?"
"OOL ME URP!"
"Pull him up!" said Idina, translating face-shoved-into-the-ground speak.
Magneto was dizzy but still seemed his usual, grumpy keychain self as he steadied him to stand and called over Sven so Magneto could lean against the reindeer and take things slow for a while. Idina told him what had happened and that he would be just fine.
Magneto shot a glare my way that I was too happy to return. "I know exactly what happened," he grumbled. "And I know I'm okay. You don't have to explain to me things I already know."
"Well, we're glad you're back. But the war should still be called off. We can't stand another injury like that." Nessa decided.
But Magneto was having none of that. He would never surrender, and insisted that we all go back to fighting on our respective team's sides. We were able to convince him to rest a bit with Sven while we took a break from fighting. Loki didn't seem to give a care about the war at all anymore. I think he was just happy to have his friend back. He spent most of break time conversing with the keychain and giving Sven belly rubs. That meant Olaf, Idina, Bell, Dorothy, Nessa, and I, had to find something else to do.
I started by cleaning the area of paper snowballs and setting them in another doll-sized wicker basket I fund (how many of those does She have?!) and setting them aside. Bell and Dorothy redid each-other's hair and traded hairstyles, Dorothy receiving Bell's high bun and Bell getting curly pigtails which did not look the greatest on her. I'm glad Disney decided not to give their version of Tinker Bell pigtails. Bored, I mostly complimented Idina on a job well done with that whole nurse thing and displaying my ice magic, creating only very small things because Olaf wanted to see me do so. I only created very small things, like tinkling ice windchimes or delicate frost flowers, because I was secretly still paranoid of hurting another doll.
At first, Magneto was annoyed that we were goofing around instead of trying to crush the enemy, but eventually things loosened up as we figured war was silly and not worth playing anymore. Break time ran into "war time" and nobody seemed to mind. With our differences forgotten for the time being, yet never addressed, we starting to play around and have fun. Loki (who had returned to the group) and Nessa took turns trying to shoot paper balls through Sven's outstretched antlers like a goal post, which proved to be a difficult task, as the reindeer was constantly trying to catch the paper balls in his mouth, thinking they were food. Bell was allowed to use her wings again and took turns giving the smaller ones flights about the room just for the fun of it. I sat with Magneto, apologizing profusely, and then went to She's bookshelf and brought out a search-and-find book.
"I figured you should be having fun, too," I said quietly. "Even if you can't actually be getting up and running about like the other for a while."
Magneto sighed, resting his chin in his hands. I could tell he was not going to be happy about taking things slow for the next one or two weeks. "I know you were just trying to help, Elsa. I'm glad you were on my team. Were, since the war is over, I guess. Wish we had some resolution, though."
"Hey, cheer up. We don't need to fight just because some of us have differing opinions."
"Maybe so," Magneto agreed reluctantly. "But he started it."
I let myself smirk. "Sure he did."
Magneto and I worked on a few pages of the search-and-find book, remaining quiet and in slight frustration. Why did they need us to find six strawberries? Why not just one strawberry?
"You know, I heard She might be going out to see the movie sometime this week."
Magneto's head lifted off his hands. "Are you serious?"
"I think so. The humans were discussing it downstairs during lunch. They're probably going to see it when we get to the weekend. Sunday sounds about right."
Magneto chuckled. "Happy Mother's Day." he muttered sarcastically.
We joked about how the humans were going to see a PG-13 superhero action movie instead of doing something typical of Mother's Day, like going on a walk in the garden or eating salad. Since dolls don't have mothers, we had little idea of what Mother's Day really was. But I was thinking little of the subject, because joking around meant Magneto was going to be okay. The weight of guilt lifted off my shoulders.
We hung out for the rest of the day until the humans came home. After the ordeal, I had a relaxing hour by myself with nothing but She's leftover mug of country peach tea and her laptop. I was feeling inspired, so I created another collage on Paint of the teams. I think it looks quite dramatic. I did not include a picture of Sven here, seeing as he was neutral. Or maybe he wasn't, but we don't speak reindeer. I guess I could have put him down for Team Black Widow, but (cough cough spoilers cough cough) from what I heard She say, Black Widow was not a neutral, but sided with Iron Man at first and then gave in and had to help out her good old friend Captain America. Sven was not a traitor in our reenactment that I knew of.
So have any of you guys seen the movie yet? Well, the post is almost over anyway, so I hope you have. Or if you have no interest in seeing it, then I hope you enjoyed in interesting story that I had to tell. I'm sure war in real life is not nearly as fun as a goofy paper snowball fight. But if you have seen it, what did you think? Feel free to leave me some comments, spoilers included, as I probably never will get to view the film. But who knows? She did actually see the movie on Sunday and loves it. Maybe She will buy the disc when it comes out after its showing in the theaters. And maybe I'll eventually get to see it. And what an interesting night that will be!
"Marveling" at Disney,
Queen Elsa
Dear Elsa,
ReplyDeleteI'll admit I was surprised when Magneto chose Team Iron Man, considering how the Magneto character feels about registration of any kind. But then dolls, or keychains, don't always have the same personalities, or beliefs, as the characters they're made to look like. That's something humans like me would do well to remember.
Signed, Treesa